Dealing with guilt the right way

One of the problems of being a committed Christian is that your conscience tends to become more and more sensitive. Things you did before that did not bother you, suddenly become sources of guilt when you fall into/ respond in the same old way to, entrenched hurts habits and hangups. It then becomes necessary to deal with guilt in a functional way (not beating up on oneself, not stuffing it and trying to ignore it).

Before I get into the functional way to deal with guilt, I want to mention that I was asked (under suspicion) by a non-Christian friend of mine (his own self description) about what motivates me. In other words what is in it for me? This is one of the things that the World does not understand, that the motives of the Christian are not purely selfish. Clearly we cannot fully get away from selfishness. No matter how mature in the Lord, we still see the World from behind our own two eyes! But when I fail (as we all do), it is precisely because I did or said or thought (attitude) something that was displeasing to Him. So what is my motivation? It is to please the Lord. It's easy to be distracted. There are many things including the trials and pains of life that tend to pull us away from our desire to please Him. Again as the Scriptures say “In many things we all fail.”

So back to dealing with the guilt we all have to deal with at times. I am talking here about true guilt (I did something wrong) as opposed to false guilt (guilt trips/shame - you are (I am) no good). As the conscience becomes more sensitive the feeling of having let Him down becomes heavier. The Scriptures again “there is a godly sorrow that leads to repentance.” Repentance is about turning away from something and turning to something (someone), turning to the Lord. What a faithful Friend. He is just not only to forgive but also to cleanse – the blood of Jesus – amazing. There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Since we all fair, what is the difference between me and my friend? It is simply this, I am forgiven and cleansed. In this way (when we do repent and meditate on what He has done) our failures simply lead us closer to Him and will eventually fortify us, bring us into the security of His acceptance and set us free from the power of our failures. My guilt is gone, I've been set free. This is much better than beating up on me or stuffing or denying my guilt. Hallelujah what a saviour!

Do life's lessons get harder?

I keep coming back to a verse from James which instructs us to count it all joy in the midst of the trials of life. We all go through trials, and the way we deal with them says something about who we are, or about who we are becoming. Secular Psychology talks about acceptance which I am told is “a person's assent to the reality of a situation, recognizing a process or condition (often a negative or uncomfortable situation) without attempting to change it or protest.” Biblical (as opposed to secular) wisdom both agrees and disagrees with the admonition to do this.

We can cause ourselves a great deal of grief when we are unable to accept or come to terms with what is happening around us and in us. And this lack of acceptance can be the very thing that either prolongs the pain or even makes the situation worse. The unwillingness or the inability to forgive, for example, can poison us and our relationships. There are times we need to forgive others for our own sake, and for the sake of those we love and who have to live with us! On the other hand there are times when acceptance without “without attempting to change it or protest” is nothing less than fatalism and capitulation.

The 12 step prayer “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference” brings a more Biblical balance to the concept of acceptance. But the admonition in James is deeper still. However, the ability to go beyond just acceptance and enter into joy, is predicated in a faith in God who “works all things together for good for those who love Him.”

This faith "knows" that God is in control and that He will actively use even the evil things that happen to us to for our good. This knowing does not preclude working to change things, but when appropriate, it allows us to do so from a place of rest. He does not promise, by the way, that we will always understand how He can possibly work this or that for our good, but the knowing of faith, trusts that it is so. With the help He gives, it is then possible to have joy (different from happiness) even in the midst of life's difficulties. All this is available to all who choose to trust in Him. Even so, we have to grow into it, but when we do, even if life's trials do get harder, we will progressively be able to enter into His joy and peace. “Getting there, not yet arrived :)” P