Take away guilt and shame I. Take away guilt

There are basically three responses to dealing with guilt or shame, but only one is effective. But before we start I want to say what I will mean by these terms, and what the differences are. As with many words in the English language there is not always common agreement on their meaning. For this reason I want to say what I will mean in this and the following post. Here are a couple of quotes from the internet "Guilt says I've done something wrong; shame says there is something wrong with me. Guilt says I've made a mistake; shame says I am a mistake. Guilt says what I did was not good; shame says I am no good." Using this terminology we should probably really call a 'guilt trip' a 'shame trip.'

I will deal with these two things separately starting with guilt. Of course the above quotes are from a secular source, where we are not anymore allowed to use the words “wrong” or “sin.” But let's look at an extreme case. Let's look at a Biblical hero, David. David was a murderer and an adulterer (aren’t you glad the Bible does not sugar coat it's heroes?). I hope we can agree that this is wrong, that this is sin! David gets Uriah the Hittite's wife Bath-sheba, pregnant. Then in order to deal with it, he gets his commanding general Joab to send Uriah into the thick of the battle, and to withdraw from him. Things go according to David's plan, and Uriah dies. Nathan, under direction from God confronts David who then repents (2 Samuel 11:1 – 12:24). We read about David's true repentance in Psalm 51, and there are a number of things we can learn about our subject from it.

So let's set this up. Does David saying “sorry” to Uriah make up for what he did, does it take away David's guilt? How can he do it anyway, Uriah is dead, so what would it even mean? David is feeling very very bad by this time. He tells God that his sin is ever before him (can't get it out of his mind), that it feels like his very bones have been crushed (Psalm 51:3, 8). So David is suffering from bone crushing guilt. This is not some guilt trip, what he did was very very wrong and he knows it (verse 3 again). But what is the solution? David knows that ultimately it is “Against You, and You only that I have I sinned and done what is evil in Your sight, so that You are proved right when You speak and justified when You judge” (verse 4). He is of course speaking to God. David asks God to blot out his transgression, cleans him from his sin and restore the joy of his salvation (verses 1,2, 9 and 12).

But God has a problem. He is just. Is it just to simply forgive? What would you say if my father was a judge here on earth, that I was brought before him and found guilty of some crime, but then he simply lets me off? Would he be just? We want God to be merciful yes, but I believe in the end we will want Him to be just too. Firstly if I am going to heaven I don't want any injustice there, secondly I want the Hitlers of this world to get what is coming to them. But no matter what we want, God cannot be unjust, in the same way He cannot lie, He cannot be anything other than Holy.

And the Law is very clear, it demands “life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot” (Deuteronomy 19:21).” I have heard this described as barbaric. But in an age when feuds were the norm, this is advocating justice not revenge (which never seems to be satisfied). The problem was (and still is) that we are want to take two eyes for one eye and two teeth for one tooth. God is saying no, the punishment must be just, the punishment must fit the crime. David's sin was murder and adultery. What punishment fits these crimes? Justice demands life for life, and our God is a God of Justice (Isaiah 30:18). So here is the problem, how could God forgive David (and in the end you and me too) and still be just?

I said above that God cannot be anything but just, but he also cannot be anything other than loving. In the illustration above (of my father as a judge here on earth), what about if he declared me guilty, prescribed the just fine and then took off his robes, came down to where I was, and paid the fine for me? If he did that, he would be both just and merciful, and the just requirements of the Law would have been fulfilled. You might even say that love and justice had kissed (see Psalm 85:10). And in fact this is exactly what God has done in and through the sacrifice of Jesus on the Cross. In Romans 3:25,26 Paul tells us that God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement (at–one-ment – reconciling us to Himself), through the shedding of his blood …. He did it … so as to be just and the one who justifies (puts in right standing) those who have faith in Jesus (words in brackets mine). In 1 John 1:9 He goes even further telling us “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” So He is not only just to forgive us, He is just to cleanse us, to take away the feelings of defilement and worthlessness, in fact to take away all of what David tells us he was was feeling in Psalm 51. This of course may take some time.

By way of a practical aside here, in the context of confessing his sin, David tells us “When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long” (Psalm 32:3). In other words when he kept silent (not confessing) his bone crushing guilt remained with him. The relationship between confession and healing is made explicit in James 5:16 where we read “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” Note that it is in the context of fellowship ("one another"). I find it works best when I confess to someone who struggles with the same sin. It is important too, that the other person (or persons) be safe! It is not so healing when confidence is not kept :-).

So the just punishment for David was death, but Jesus took the just punishment on Himself. Of course this was not just for David. The Apostle Peter puts it this way “Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit” (1 Peter 3:18).

But some will object that David lived and sinned and died long before Jesus hung on the Cross for our sins. The Scriptures however, tell us that Jesus, who is the Lamb of God, was slain before the foundation of the world (Revelation 3:18). The point is that God operates outside of time. Paul tells us that both Abraham and David were saved by faith, just as we are (Romans 4:1-8). Paul is arguing that both Abraham and David (without knowing it was Jesus) were saved by faith in what God would (in their case) do in Jesus. The old Testaments sacrifices were mere pictures and shadows of the one and only truly effective sacrifice (Hebrews 10:1-10). Abraham and David looked forward, and we look back to what God accomplished in Christ. On that day all who are saved will know they are saved by Jesus, even if they did not know it at the time. These things should cause us to reexamine too narrow an understanding of John 14:6!

I am saying all this to say just that the only effective way to deal with our guilt is to to have it taken away as in “be forgiven.” The reason Jesus came was to make it possible for a Holy God to able forgive and still be just. In 1 John 3:5 we read “But you know that He appeared so that He might take away our sins.” If we deny our guilt, it is not taken away, it remains. If we ignore it or blame others, it is not taken away, it remains. And since God is the one who is most offended by our sin, it is His forgiveness that we need. But how does it work, what does the process of being forgiven look like?

The Romans 3 passage quoted above ends with “He did it … so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus.” But what does “have faith in Jesus” mean? The, perhaps overly wordy Amplified Bible translates believe (or have faith) variously as “adhere to - cleave to, trust in and rely on”. It involves entering into a trusting relationship with Him, which includes repentance and turning from our sin. Repentance and forgiveness are clearly linked in the Scriptures (i.e. Luke 24:47). Repentance is necessary, Jesus is not a ticket to sin, and there are warnings about deliberate and presumptions sin (Hebrews 10:26). Paul speaks of the godly type of sorrow that brings repentance that in turn leads to salvation and which leaves no regret. He also tells us that worldly sorrow brings death (2 Corinthians 7:10). Worldly sorrow is of the “sorry I got caught” ilk. Godly sorrow is about determining not to do it again, and regretting that I did it in the first place. Repentance is changing my mind about sin, agreeing with God and turning my life over to Him. With this kind of repentant faith, our guilt is truly taken away.

So then it is the sacrifice of His Son that allows God to forgive us, and be put right with Him. And there is no other way, for “there is no other name under heaven given among men whereby we must be saved” (Acts 4:12). If we reject His forgiveness, we retain our guilt. He will not force us to receive His free pardon. The Bible tells us that the wages of sin is death. Wages are what you get for what you did. The full text of this quote from Romans 6:23 reads “the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Without Him we would ourselves need to pay the penalty for our sin (and all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God – Romans 3:23). We are not left without a solution, notice the “but.” “But the gift of God is eternal life.” God has provided the solution as a gift. We do not, and in fact we cannot, earn this gift. There is a divine exchange behind what Paul is saying here. Jesus takes our sin, and gives us His righteousness (2 Corinthians 5:21). And standing in His righteousness, we are being equipped for heaven. And it is because we stand in His righteousness (and not our own) that we can know that we have eternal life (Philippians 3:9; 1 John 5: 13). We do not have to wait to know in fear and trepidation until we die. To say it again, salvation is a gift (Ephesians 2:8,9). In the words of the Hymn writer I am “Ransomed, healed, restored forgiven, who like me His praise should sing!” I have received this gift. How about you. Have you received His gift of forgiveness and eternal life? Will you do it now if you have not?

Prayer: Father I confess that I have sinned against you, and am not worth to be called your son (daughter), but You have made me worthy in and through Your Son Jesus Christ. I turn from my sin, surrender and give the reins of my life to you. With Your help, I choose to follow You all the days of my life. I receive Your gift of forgiveness now. Thank You for Your unspeakable gift. In Jesus name (1 John 5:12).

The hide-go-seek God

Someone might ask, if this heaven and hell thing are so serious why does God not make himself more obvious? I believe we all start off knowing Him, but for various reasons we do not retain the knowledge of Him (Romans 1:28). On the other hand, Pascal's saying that inside every man (and woman) there is a God shaped hole that only He can fill, rings such a bell with me. Paul tells us that God sets our times and place to live so that we might “seek the Lord, in the hope that they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us” (Acts 17:27,28).

So what I am saying is that He is obvious, but that we “grow out of it,” for various reasons. I know for sure this is my own experience. When I was a child I knew God existed but then I turned to my own way, did things I knew were wrong, and in so doing “suppressed the truth in my unrighteousness” (Romans 1:18). During this period I regarded my former youthful knowledge as naive, but I needed to “become as a little child” again (Mark 10:15). This is not to become naive or gullible, but first and foremost to be open to admitting we are wrong, the same way a child will. I remember with joy my son in his emerging years responding to me with “guilty as charged.” How willing I was to forgive him, and how theologically significant that I have no memory of what he was guilty of (Isaiah 43:25). My point however, is that in general, its hard to admit we are wrong.

Part of this is that our consciences get hardened. The first time we do something we think is wrong, our consciences will give us a hard time. The second time not so much, until after a while we somehow or other have managed to silence our conscience altogether. At this point we can start to blame “those narrow minded Christians” for our having experienced guilt in the first place. As I said in a earlier post, what we do and what we believe are intricately interconnected. In my own case I know that if it were not for the consequences of my choices and the resulting pain, I would never have even wanted to come back. But in my pain and emptiness I did indeed start to “grope for Him” to find Him. And indeed He was not far from me. And as He promises He will, He did indeed give rest to my soul (Matthew 11:28-30).

But why do we need to seek Him at all? Why can't He be more in our face? I believe at least part of it has to do with free will and His unwillingness to force Himself on us. If there was no doubt that we would go to hell if we did not follow Him, where would the choice be? It is also (I believe) related to the principle that we are responsible for what we know, we will be judged according to the light we have been given. So that (out of mercy) He does not (usually) force knowledge upon us that we do not want. This principle is the reason teachers, who have more light, have more responsibility. James tells us we should not all be teachers, for ours is the greater condemnation (James 3:2). I used the word "usually" above. I am thinking of Paul on the Damascus road. But Paul, though misguided, thought he was serving God, not avoiding Him.

Someone once said that God hides for us, not from us, and this fits well with what I was just saying. However I think the main part has to do with the great romance. God is constantly wooing us to Himself. He is the great lover, the great romantic. And romance is about relationship not about cold academic facts about existence (or non-existence). Certainly He hides, or we would not need to seek Him. And His wanting to be sought is part of why He will not allow Himself to be proved or disproved (outside of a relationship with Him) by Science. I suspect He regards all our attempts to prove Him by rationality and Sciences as “God traps,” and He is far too clever to be caught that way! But He does want to be found. He is the hide go-seek-God. However as in all games, there are rules to be followed (see Jeremiah 29:13 and below).

When my grandson was much much younger, I took him to see the house I had just bought. I had not yet moved in, and there was not a single stick of furniture (or anything else) in the place. “Let's play hide go seek Grandpa, I'm it”. So I went and hid in the closet in the furthest room. “Ready or not, here I come. Are you in this room Grandpa?” 'No.' “This one?” 'No.' Eventually he came to the room I was in. “Are you in this one Grandpa?” 'Yes.' Remember there is not a single stick of furniture. So he comes to the closet and opens it. “I found you Grandpa.” What was so precious was the look on his little face, such joy, such delight!

What is my point? I don't remember exactly how old he was, perhaps two? But what was fully clear to me is that he had given this game everything he had. He had (age appropriately) put his whole heart and soul and mind into it. And he found me. And me? I was hiding for him, not from him, and I wanted to be found (for the joy of it). It's like this with God. He wants us (age appropriately) to put our heart and mind and soul into searching for Him. “You will search for me and find me when you search for me with all of your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13). And when we do, we will find Him, not because we are clever enough to figure it out, but because when we give it everything we are and have, He shows himself to us (see John 14:21 - Amplified Bible). And there will be joy in Heaven over one sinner who repents (Luke 15:7). He wants to be found by us, He is the hide-go-seek God.

On Heaven, Hell and Guilt trips

I am horrified when I hear of someone who names the name of Christ and who (for example) at the same time says to a smoker “You are going to hell (because you smoke).” After I calm down, I want to tell such a person (the speaker) that he or she fails to understand (at least) three things. The first thing they do not understand is the gospel. In the end it is not what we have done or not done that determines our eternal destiny. It is, as I was saying last day, our rejection of God's incredibly costly provision of forgiveness for our sins (John 3:16-18). The second thing they do not understand is God. I do not claim to fully understand God either, but I do understand this, that He is gracious and compassionate, full of mercy, and does not want anyone to perish (Exodus 34:6; 2 Peter 3:9). Further on this same point when, in their judgmental self- righteousness they say such things, they misrepresent God in effect taking His name in vain. This is sin (Exodus 20:7). The final thing they fail to understand is that those who judge will themselves be judged, and that they will be judged with the same measure that they judge others (Matthew 7:1-5).

I wish I could say that Christians do not lay guilt trips on others, but unfortunately it is not true. And, as I say, it horrifies me. On the other hand not everything that is called a guilt trip is a guilt trip. If I have a relative who died of lung cancer, a lovingly spoken word to the effect that it was his smoking that did it, is not a guilt trip. It is an act of compassion, even if the other person does not immediately see it that way!

There are a couple of very common reactions when the subject of heaven and hell is broached. People will either ask if I am trying to scare them into heaven, or they will declare that we Christians are judgmental. As I implied above this can certainly be the case. As for me, I remember, under provocation, telling a non- Christian friend to go to hell. I remember all these years later my own horror at what I had said (it had quickly reduced me to tears of repentance). So let me here and now apologize for those of us who have come across as unloving and/or self self righteous and judgmental or worse. None of us is immune. It was not that long ago that the Lord convicted me of judging (as in condemning) those who judge. In light of the Matthew passage I quickly repented (that does not mean I no longer think that judging is wrong!). But love is not easily provoked (1 Corinthians 13:5 JKV). I have certainly not arrived! The Lord is working on me, and you should have seen me before He got started (well perhaps not)! But when we speak of these things, we need to do so with great humility and even tears.

I have been listening to a series of debates between Christians and the new militant atheists (Richard Dawkins, Chris Hutchins etc.). I came across a clip recently where Richard Dawkins admitted that he is not sure God does not exist, but that he is not a 50/50 agnostic. He said that his not knowing is a 6 out of 7, where a 7 is fully sure there is no God. In the same clip he amended this to 6.9 out of seven. One has to wonder about the science behind these numbers, especially when they change within the space of a five minute clip. But in any case, it is interesting that they are no longer saying that Science proves God does not exist, they now saying that the (apparently shifting) probability of God existing is low, and the stakes of believing are too high to believe without sufficient evidence.

When they speak about evidence they are of course meaning scientific evidence. But to insist that we prove or disprove the existence of God by the Scientific method is like insisting that we use interrogation methods on a car to prove (or not) that it is the creation of intelligent design. The last time I spoke to a car, it did not answer me (I admit I was bring rude, but it was misbehaving :-)). The set of things that can be decided by the Scientific method does not include the existence of God, nor does it include love or meaning or purpose, or many of the things we need to prove in a court of law. On a practical level we do not, and we cannot live our lives based solely on knowledge that comes to us through Science, and I am sorry, but it is naïve to think that we can. We act on the testimonies of trustworthy people (i.e. the Law courts) and we act on our own intuition. We would not get married or commit to friendship if it were otherwise.

I want to say something about the certainly of faith. Hebrews 11:1 in the NIV reads “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” For me this certainty is tied to the subjective revelation of the Spirit which illuminates the objective revelation of the Word. It comes through answered prayer and confirmation by the miraculous. It is much easier to believe when you have been used (as I have) to heal instantly when I prayed for it in Jesus name. I have also seen much more of it (than in my own life) in my contemporary heroes of faith (i.e. Heidi Baker, Bill Johnson and their followers). Perhaps you don't believe us, and that's okay, but grant us this. We are convinced, and being convinced we have a burden.

Let me illustrate it this way, if you knew that your friend was driving down a road where, round a sharp bend the bridge was washed out, and that they would likely plunge to their deaths, would you not try and warn them in love? And if you did it in love would that necessarily be judgmental and/or self righteous of you? If heaven and hell are real, and if we go to one of the two places when we die, and if it depends on the decisions we make in the here and now, would it not be unloving of me not to try and tell you about it, even if it made you mad?


Certainly if this thing about heaven and hell is not true – it is a huge guilt trip, but if it is true (and believe me we are convinced that it is) then perhaps you can understand that at times it is an intolerable burden that we are not allowed to tell you. I know that part of this is that some have shared these things without sensitivity or love, but it nevertheless remains a burden. One last thing: The Richard Dawkins of this world speak about the stakes of believing being too high to believe. From where I stand, the stakes of not believing are too high not to try to persuade you to investigate these things in the way that they are intended to be investigated. “When you search for me with all of your heart (note with all your heart not with all your mind) you will find me” (Jeremiah 29:13 – words in brackets mine – see also coming post the heart of the matter is the heart).

The S- word sin, who says its wrong?

We have all heard the saying everything that I want to do is either immoral, illegal or it makes me fat. It can certainly seem like that at times. Closely related to this is the feeling that God is some kind of Scrooge in the sky who, whenever He sees one of us having fun, leans over the balcony of heaven and shouts down “cut that out.” It would be wrong to suggest that there are not religious people who speak and act as if this were the case. The modern day Pharisee (a religious person who opposed Jesus) is alive and well and living on planet earth. This however is not the essence of Christianity.

I am going to deal with the issue of guilt and guilt trips a little later. But first I need to say something about this word that Christians throw around all the time, the “s” word sin. I am aware that the word itself it is a stumbling block to many, as it conjurors up pictures of priggish narrow minded, self righteous bigots. Many equate the word sin with a morality that is outmoded, old fashioned and prudish. It is however a word that Jesus used over and over, and He was none of these things. As I am sure you know, Jesus is regarded as the best teacher the World has ever known, and perhaps, just perhaps it is worth pausing to consider what He has to say on the matter. Perhaps most relevant to our discussion is the saying “He (or she) who sins is the slave of sin” (John 8:34). A softer more modern version of this might be “he who makes poor choices gets stuck.” It is neither exactly what He means, nor all that He means, but lets start with it. 


I said earlier that I did not always believe what I now believe about the Bible. And I need to admit that my first reaction to the pain I was experiencing in life, was to blame others. They say that at the break up of a marriage most couples blame each other 100% for their problems. Well in my first marriage that was certainly me. But the pain of the separation from my daughter went deep, deep enough so I started to ask the “why” questions. In my searching I became desperate enough to cry out to God. I have always said that if He had not been real, He would never have held me, but He is real and He did. The first thing that He needed to do in taking away what hinders and adding what helps, was to show me that I was far from guiltless, and that a large part of the reason I was suffering is that I was reaping what I had sown (see coming post). To put this another way, I was learning from the school of hard knocks that my poor choices had consequences. There were consequences for myself, and there were consequences for others, and none of them were good. The Scriptures tell us that one of the jobs of the Holy Spirit is to convince the Word of sin of righteousness and of judgement (John 16:8). I got this in spades, and even though I did not fully understand all that it meant, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that at least part of what I was suffering was a direct result of my selfishness.

You might be saying “well at some level we are all selfish,” and you would be right. The Biblical puts it this way “all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God” (Romans 3:23). Part of what the word sin means then, is to fall short of God's perfection, of His Holiness. I want to acknowledge “sin righteousness and judgement” have many times been presented in ways that are oppressive, self righteous and obnoxious (or worse). Nor is everything that is presented balanced or even true. But none of this is new, it was religion and the religious who crucified Christ. Religion has been responsible for both a great deal of evil and a great deal of good (it's a long debate if you doubt this). It is easy to allow the bad to deflect us from good, and from the real issues. It is easy to throw out the baby out with the bath water. Good choices have to do first with discerning good from bad and then embracing (adding) the former and throwing out (subtracting) the latter.

When we embrace the source of all good and live in close relationship with Him, we bear fruit. I am of course talking about Jesus. And among the fruit we bear we list love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22,23). It's process, it is not instantaneous. We do not need too much discernment to know that these things are good, and that the World would be a better place if more of us were bearing more of it. For my own part I want more of His fruit in my life, and I pray for it, and ask Him to take away the things that prevent it happening. I cannot be full of His Spirit and full of self at the same time. There are things that needed (and need) to be taken away, so that He can add the good things. In the end it is always what He call sin that hinders.

I need to say more here about the trinity “sin, righteousness and judgement.” I have heard people say that they believe that heaven and hell are right here on earth. I don't completely dismiss this but … Let me save the 'but' for later. What I don't completely dismiss is that the here and now can give us glimpses of heaven and hell. Only glimpses mind, I believer the realties are much deeper. We can get a glimpse of heaven if we think of a world where everybody fully exhibits the fruit of the Spirit mentioned above, where there is no hate, no cutting remarks, no rejection, no anger, no exclusion, no selfishness, no mean spiritedness, no put downs, no one-upmanship, no bad days, no grief, no pollution, no unforgiveness, no manipulation, no hidden agenda, no murder, no lies, no cheating, no theft, no sorrow, no tears, no death etc., etc., etc.. On the other hand we can get a glimpse (and just a glimpse) of hell if we take away all the good, pure, noble, kind unselfish things from the here and now, all the things that the Bible calls virtue and be left with all of the negatives (and more) listed above. In other words to take out all that the Bible calls and means by “righteousness."

Think on this. If God is just (and He is) there has to be a hell. If death is simply annihilation, non existence, then there is no justice. Simple annihilation is simply too good for those who have murdered millions, for the Hitlers and the Stalins and the Pol Pots of this world. And if there is a hell, it follows that there must also be a heaven. Think on this too. If you are to be there for ever and ever and ever, how many of the negatives from the above list do you want to be there? And if there are to be none of them, then you and I are excluded unless ….

Unless what? Unless God somehow makes it possible. And He has and does. God made Jesus Christ to be sin for us, so that He could give us His righteousness, and in doing so be just to forgive us, and just to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (2 Corinthians 5:21; Philippians 3:8,9; 1 Peter 3:18; Romans 3:26; 1 John 1:9). So this is all about taking away our sin and adding His righteousness. But He will not force it on us. He has given us free will, freedom to choose, even if that freedom means rejecting Him. We can choose “not God”. But we need to realize that if we choose “not God” we are left with none of His virtues and with all (and more) of the mean and hateful things of this World.

So what is conversion? Conversion is about agreeing with His assessment of things, taking on His righteousness and giving Him permission to take away the things that hinder and add the things that help. So will we not have free will in heaven? I believe we will, but we will (those of us who get there) already have chosen the good, already chosen to cooperate with God in transforming us into the image of His Son, making us like Jesus (1 John 3:2). We will not want to choose what displeases Him. Paul's prayer in Colossians 1:9 is interesting in this regard. He prays that they “be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding.” It is my belief and understanding and sure hope that when we are full of the knowledge of His will we will run to it, because we will know that it is best. In the spiritual wisdom that attends it, we will know that not only are His ways good and right and proper, they are smart and (as the prayer in Colossians continues) full of the positive and wonderful fruits of righteousness. On top of this, we will be out of the presence of the Tempter and his minions! In its place there will be “pleasures for evermore” (Psalm 16:11).

Speaking of pleasure and coming back to the subject of sin, some will ask “Are there not pleasures in sin too (everything I enjoy is either …)”? Of course there are, the Bible tells us that too, but it does not stop there. The phrase I am thinking of is “the pleasures of sin for a season” (Hebrews 11:25). The implication is that these pleasures do not last. They are only for a season. Again in my own experience I have found that the pleasure of the things the Bible call sin are in the end hollow. On the other hand that form of godly sorrow that leads to repentance, leaves no regrets (2 Corinthians 7:10). At the end of your life will you wish you had been more selfish, broken more hearts, resented more people, manipulated more, chewed more people out, told more lies, hated more people, watched more pornographic movies, accumulated more stuff etc., etc., etc? On top of all of this, the things the Bible calls sin entraps and enslave us. Indeed as we have already said “He who sins is the slave of sin.”

So sin, who says it's wrong? In the end I believe that we all will. The Scripture tells us that on that day, every mouth will be stopped and all the world be seen to be guilty before God (Romans 3:19). Part of what this means is that our excuses, denials and rationalizations will be seen by all, for what they are, excuses, denials and rationalizations. We will know this,know that it is known and will have nothing to say. Paul is speaking here about guilt before the Law. Not one of us keeps even the 10 commandments. Who never told a lie, who has never dishonoured father or mother, who never looked at a woman the wrong way, who never took something that did not belong to him (another's reputation?), who has not put their trust in something other than God (it's called an idol) etc., etc., etc. Without His righteousness we are lost. That is why we need to trust in His righteousness, not our own. That is why when we choose not to believe in and trust Him, we are already condemned (John 3:18). It is because we are choosing not to be forgiven, choosing to reject the only solution to our problem.

Are we there yet mummy?

To fully understand you would have to have been a parent who has driven on a long journey with a child. But it's not just children who want to cut to the chase. We were asking last day “Do you want to be made whole?” We were saying it is not such an obvious question as you might think. Our resistance to change is amazing even when we are well and truly stuck. It may be that the man by the pool of Bethesda needed all of the 38 years there, to come to the place where he did indeed want to be made whole (see John 5:2-6). Many of our prisons are of our own making. Such prisons include the prison of offenses, the unwillingness to let go of bitterness and resentment, prisons of shame as we hide from God, from each other and from ourselves. We are trapped by our need of the approval of others and we are paralyzed by fear. It is painful being stuck, but the fear of change is scarey too. There is a recovery saying that makes more sense than I want it to, it is this. “We will not change until the pain of being stuck becomes greater than the pain and fear of change.” Are we there yet mummy? Are you there yet, am I? I am asking if you (and I) are ready to start (or to continue) the hard work of becoming whole. The road to recovery, though it has many significant victories along the way, is a journey rather than a final destination.

John and Paula Sandford in their book “Transformation of the inner man” have some interesting things to say about this from a Biblical perspective. They say that we may have to fail over and over before can't stand not to die. In the book the context is of recovery from addictions, but it has much wider application, and the concept behind their saying is thoroughly Biblical. In talking about dying, they are not speaking about physical death, they are talking about the death of the self life. I have mentioned before a frequent prayer of mine that the Lord would put to death the deeds and the desires of the flesh (the fallen part of our human nature). Before I unpack this, let me put it a different way. When we give in to our wrong desires, we develop appetites that demand attention. It can of course be physical hunger, but I am speaking of a lot more that just eating disorders. The alcoholic has an insatiable appetite for booze, the pornoholic has an insatiable appetite for pornography. Then there are many not so obvious addictions such as gossip or anger or compulsive thoughts or the wearing of masks (hiding who we are out of fear of rejection). So the Sandford's point could be restated by saying we may need to fail multiple times until we are willing (by the Spirit) to starve these appetites to death or with the help of the Spirit to overcome the fear that paralyzes us.

The prayer mentioned above, is a combination of two scriptures. The first is Romans 8:13 “For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.” The life that is spoken about here, is the life in abundance that Jesus speaks of in John 10:10. The second scripture is from Galatians 5:22-24. In the first part, Paul is talking about the fruit of the Spirit love, joy, peace, long suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. He goes on to say that those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Crucifixion is a painful death, and giving our passions and desires up to God can be painful too, but we will not be free until we do.

An important part of what I am wanting to say is that while we have a significant part to play, it is not in the end all up to us. In fact this is the biggest difference between Biblically based recovery and secular versions (see “Psychology without faith is lame” - August 12, 2010). That it is both, is seen in a single sentence in the Romans passage. Paul says both that it is you (you and I) who need to put to death the deeds of the flesh, and also that it is “by the Spirit”, that we do it. In other words there is a partnership here. When we are willing with His help to crucify (put to death) both the desires and the works of the flesh (Galatians 5:19-21), the Lord will cause the fruit mentioned above to manifest itself in our lives. The fruit tree does not have to strive to produce fruit. It comes from having its tap roots firmly rooted and grounded in good soil (speaking of the Word and intimacy with Him). The Lord wants to take away the things that hinder, and to give us life. But He will not violate our will, and He requires not only our permission, but our full cooperation. He knows what we are capable of, and what we are not, and when we do it His way, He will do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. To me this is good news, because I need (and have needed) a lot of help to get unstuck!

Reinhard Bonnke has a helpful story which illustrates our part in all of this. He tells of a young man who invited Jesus into the main “room” of his heart. It was a genuine invitation, but there were rooms that were still closed to the Lord. The Devil came knocking and completely defeated the young convert. “Why did you not help?” the convert asked the Lord. “You kept me out of certain rooms” the Lord replied. There was one “room” (area of his life) that the young believer knew for sure the Lord was talking about, and he surrendered that too. The Devil came again with the same result and the same question was asked. “Until you give me authority over the whole house, I can do nothing” the Lord replied. Finally the whole house was surrendered to him. The next time the Devil came knocking the Lord himself opened the door. “Sorry”, the Devil replied, “I came to the wrong house!” Bonnke's point is that until we surrender all, the house still belongs to us, and we are still running it! The Lord needs us to give the reins of our lives to Him.

There are a couple of verses in Philippians that come to mind here (2:12,13). In the Amplified version we read “.... work out (cultivate, carry out to the goal, and fully complete) your own salvation with reverence and awe and trembling (self-distrust, with serious caution, tenderness of conscience, watchfulness against temptation, timidly shrinking from whatever might offend God and discredit the name of Christ). [Not in your own strength] for it is God Who is all the while effectually at work in you [energizing and creating in you the power and desire], both to will and to work for His good pleasure and satisfaction and delight.

It is said that salvation has three aspects past present and future. The point in the past where we surrendered and came to the Lord “Just as I am” saves us from the penalty of sin. The Scriptures tells us “there is now therefor no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). As to the present, we are being saved from the power of sin. It is a battle and a half. It is what Biblically based recovery is all about. “Half measures profited us nothing,” in order to overcome, we need to “present our bodies a living sacrifice” (Romans 12:1,2). This is the aspect of salvation that Paul is talking about in Philippians 2. Why fear and trembling? We too easily neglect such a great salvation (Hebrews 2:1). Finally as regards to the future aspect of salvation, we will be saved from the very presence of sin. In that place “God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away” (Revelation 21:4). Hallelujah! “And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure” (1 John 3:3). Are we there yet mummy? Are you, am I?


Prayer: Father You tell us that in our double mindedness we cannot expect to receive anything from You. Many times Lord this is me. I ask You in the name of Jesus to put to death the deeds and the desires of the sinful nature. Please replace it with a deep hunger for You, for Your Word, Your Kingdom and for Yourself. I know that life in its fullness is found only in this. I know that I have a part to play, but I need Your help. Bring me out of denial into Your wonderful light. Please kill that part of me that does not want what You want for me. Give me both the emotional and intellectual components of the understanding that Your ways are not only good and right and proper, they are smart.

Do you want to be made whole?

This is the question that Jesus asked the cripple lying by the pool of Bethesda. He had been there for 38 years waiting for the angel to stir the waters. We are told that the first one in after the waters were stirred got healed. But he was a cripple with no one to help him, so he was never first. And he had been there for 38 long, long years, just waiting to be healed. Then Jesus comes along and asks “Do you want to be made whole?”



It's tempting to respond “Jesus, I don’t mean to be impertinent, but what kind of a question is that? The man has been there for 38 years just waiting to be healed. Isn't it obvious?” But actually the answer is far from obvious. I could imagine the man saying “Will I have to get a job? Will I have to leave here? The only people I have ever known are right here. Where will I go? What will I do?”

Sometimes we feel that the Devil we know is better than the Devil we don't know. Recovery is not easy, change can be frightening. At least I have not found it to be easy. There are many things that can keep us stuck. Fear is certainly a biggie. Sometimes there are advantages that we don't want to give up, the companionship of other drunks, the respect and sympathy the spouse of the alcoholic gets from friends for putting up with the drunk. And then there is denial, denial that we even need to change. If you add to this our inherent laziness and double mindedness, it is no wonder most choose to stay stuck. “Lord help me to change, but not yet, just one more binge”. We want to get rid of the pain, but we want instant and painless solutions.

I don't hear this as often these days, probably because fewer people smoke, but one of the things I used to hear a lot was “I can give up smoking anytime I want to. I just don't want to”. I know (used to know) people who had quit cold turkey, and never had a cigarette again. But they told me they never lost the craving. Unless you have had (or still have) a serious addiction and have tried to give it up, you may not realize just how difficult it is. And its not just booze, drugs and pornography we get stuck in, there are many hidden addictions such as gossip, anger, hate, obsessive thinking (where the thoughts go round and round and round) etc. We can easily find ourselves in prisons of fear, shame and control. We find ourselves trapped in cycles of poverty, depression and in repeated family patterns of dysfunction. Most of us are too weak to get out of it on our own. For my own part I need help, I need healing and I need to have my desires changed. God is the only one who can do these things and He does and will when we let Him, when we fully cooperate with Him.

But a casual approach to recovery will not cut the mustard. How many alcoholics fool themselves into believing they can control their addiction. One writer puts it this way “The idea that somehow, someday they will control and enjoy their drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death”. But it's not just with the more obvious addictions that we need to take drastic measures. The things that keep us stuck act like cancer in our lives. If you have cancer and they need to operate, how much do you want them to leave behind? The introductory blurb from AA challenges “half measures profited us nothing.” The promises of life in its fullness, and real freedom in the here and now, comes with absolute surrender to Him (John 10:10; 8:31-36; Romans 12:1,2).

So, do you want to be made whole? We need to count the cost. Are you willing to count the cost? Are you willing to let God show you the things that hinder so that with His help they may be taken away, and then again by His Grace add the things that aid us in our recovery.

I invite you to pray with me: God I want to be made whole. I choose to trust that You know best, and as part of that trust, I am willing to pay the price. Please open my eyes to the things that hinder, to Your truth and Your ways and give me the grace and the wherewithal to change so that I might begin (continue in) the process of becoming whole.

Take away lies add truth

This month I will be starting to blog a second section of my book “God's Math. Take away what hinders, add what helps.” So this section is about taking away lies and adding truth. As I said earlier the world has trouble with the very concept of truth. But we don't seem to have the same difficulty with the concept of lies. We use it in our move titles, we accuse each other of telling them, and we get mad when somebody lies to or about us. It is of course inconsistent to believe in lies as a concept, and to deny truth. I mean if admit that there are things which are lies then there must be things that are not lies, which of of course implies that there is truth. This is the second time I have raised this question (see If you continue ... March 2012), but it is so fundamental and the propaganda that it is unknowable so widespread, we do need to revisit it.

We would know a lot more about what ails us if we were allowed to know. At an important time in my journey, a book “fell” into my hands which gave me insight into a lot of what I was struggling with. The gist of what the book was saying goes like this: “Most parents tell their children that what they tell them is the truth, even when it is a lie, and they are not allowed to know that it is a lie, and they are not allowed to know they are not allowed to know. This sort of thing is so widespread that most of us go round in a kind of semi- hypnotic trance (it is crazy making). If you wake up from this trance, you had better be careful who you tell, because those who love the most, are likely to punish you because they, bless them, are asleep”. The bit about punishing can come out in many ways, anger, punishing silences withdrawal, snarky comments, manipulative woundedness and the like. Most families have lots of unwritten but strongly held rules which one way or the other are strongly reenforced. My sister used to talk about “the look” mother gave! Such unwritten but strongly held rules can include: don't think, don't feel, don't speak, don't rock the boat.

I want to make is clear here that I am not into parent bashing. For more on this please read my October 2010 post “Most parents teach their children ....” There is much to say on these issues. In fact this sort of thing is much wider than the family group. It can be found in almost any organization be it religious or non religious, political or apolitical, social etc, etc. What I am saying is that we are all subject to a lot pressure to conform, to not “rock the boat” in terms of conformity to group behaviours and /or to cultural norms.

I said above that I am not into parent bashing. Most parents do the best they can with what they were handed, and life will go better if we are willing to cut each other some slack. Think about this, if you recognized your family rules in the above list of “don't”s, then it is very likely that your parents and the parents of your spouse were subject to the same pressures. And it was harder for them to deal with these things because they did not have the tools we have today. I said earlier tools that work can all be found in the Bible, and of course the Bible has been with us a very long time. However like a lot of Biblical truths they were lost to us as we failed to continue to put them into practice. This is a Biblical principle. It is only as our society becomes sicker and sicker, and as we start to see our desperate need to become whole that we become open to it. As I have also said earlier secular research can (and does) bring us insight, but only Biblical truth will set us free. We need God's help to get out of the pits we have dug for ourselves (see my August 12, 2010 post “Psychology without faith is lame”).

Some people will be unhappy with me calling some of the above things “lies.” We could of course use the expression “terminological inexactitude.” One dictionary puts it this way a lie is “a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive.” Others call lying “the telling of false statements; untruthfulness.” What is deliberate and what is not is not always clear. We will talk more about blame later. What I want to say here is that all untruth originates with the “father of lies” (John 8:44). And one of his biggest lies in the West, is that he does not exist (see “You believe in the Devil ... 2nd and 10th November 2010). In the “semi- hypnotic trance” I was talking about above, we likely will not know the difference between what is true and what is not. Most of us lie to ourselves too (Jeremiah 17:9). The only real antidote is “to continue in His Word.”