Big boys don't cry! Really?

The stereotype image of the male is that of the macho man. He can handle anything that comes his way, especially if you are English “stiff upper lip and all that!” The expression is defined by saying that the one who has a stiff upper lip displays fortitude in the face of adversity, or exercises great self-restraint in the expression of emotion. The image is that of the upper lip that starts to tremble as the person seeks to hold back the tears. We can put it this way, the macho man can handle anything but emotion!

So are tears a sign of weakness or of strength? The stuffing of emotions is in fact destructive. Owning our emotions and dealing with them is wholesome and life giving. So how do we deal with them? King David knew how, he “poured out his complaint unto the Lord,” the apostle Paul's prayers were accompanied by “may tears.” If as we read in Ecclesiastes, it is true that with increased knowledge comes increased grief, then it is only appropriate that we weep, as Jesus did, over the state of the World and over those we love who are perishing. It takes courage to allow ourselves to feel our feelings, and if we do allow ourselves to feel our feelings, there will be times when we laugh and times when we cry. There will be times we do not know which to do.

For me there is comfort in the fact that God sees our tears and our joy. He keep our tears “in a bottle.” He is not unmoved by our pain. So do big boys cry? Well I do, and I am not ashamed of my tears, they cleans and they heal. And actually there is not one of us who is not in need of healing! Jesus told us that He came to heal the broken hearted, and the way He seems to do that is to open up the wounds so that He may cauterize them. If this seems to be further wounding, we need to fall back on the saying “faithful are the wounds of a friend.” And there is no greater friend than Jesus!

Waiting is a refining fire

It seems that nobody likes to wait. You know the definition of a split second as the time interval between which the light turns green and the fellow behind starts to honk? We live in an instant, fast paced society, and we hate to wait for anything. If you are like me you want what you want and you want it now!” But I have had to learn to wait.

My life verses start off with “I waited patiently for the Lord ...,” and I always knew these were His instructions. They finish with a promise that I believe, but has not yet been fulfilled. As a little old lady friend of mine (now with Jesus) used to say “The trouble with God, is that He has no sense of time!” Amen!

A few years ago now He asked me if I had waited patiently. I could only say that I waited (and grimaced :) ). I could not add “patiently!” But this period of waiting though very difficult at times, has been good for me because it has been a refining fire. If we submit to it (letting patience have its perfect work) it produces all kinds of fruit (love, joy, peace, patience – especially patience – goodness etc.). I am not yet what I should be, but thank God His refining fire that operates in the period between the promise and the fulfillment, is making me a lot more like Him. Progress, but still a long way to go!

What about the heathen?

It's a politically incorrect way of asking, but a friend of mine asked it this morning citing his grandfather. So I suppose we can forgive him. :). My answer, was that we are not told clearly about those who are distanced from the good news either by geography, or time.

There are indications. For example we are told Abraham, separated by time from Christ, believed and it was counted to him for righteousness. Or again “Where there is no law, there is no transgression for sin.” But there is no getting away from the exclusivity of Christianity. If he or she who chooses not to believe is condemned already because he or she has chosen not to receive the forgiveness offered, then the question about the heathen is mute. When asked a similar question, Jesus answered this way “What is that to you? You must follow me.”

For me the biggest difference (though not the only one) is this question of forgiveness. If, when I am offered the free gift of forgiveness I refuse it, then I remain unforgiven. All choices (even the choice not to choose) have consequences. As for me, though very far from perfect, I am forgiven.