Homophobic - Hetraphobic

One good thing the Duck Dynasty dispute has done is to spark debate, at least for me. If we can listen to each other this will always be good. What tends to happen most of the time is that we hear only from the extremes, from the fanatics on both sides. In this scenario the one side cites violence against gays, the other the very existence of NAMBLA (North American Man Love Boy Association) whose stated goal (on it's web-site) is to legalize sex between adult males and underage boys.

When we listen only to those in our own camp we tend to make over generalized statements. “All religious people are homophobic, gay haters,” or “All gays are trying to push their homosexuality down our throats.” But not all religious people hate and fear gays, and not all gays want to seduce our children and ram their choices down our throats. But let's be honest, there are those I just described in both camps and such attitudes and resulting behaviours are wrong on both sides.

But where, when experimentation is increasingly being presented to our children as harmless, wholesome and healthy, are we allowed to to express concern over where we are going with this? Can anyone dispute the fact that the safest sex is abstention and/or life long monogamy between virgins. Is it hateful to say such things? Are such things in and of themselves homophobic? Why is it not also classified as hetrophobic? One has to wonder if we are afraid of the truth (aleuthiaphobic?)

Life long monogamy has been described as unrealistic, but Zulus and Puffins seem to have managed it. I admit that it is more difficult in the pornographic, hyper pseudo sexuality of our culture which, as I say, is increasingly encouraging our children to experiment with their sexuality! And how harmless is that when, for example statistics show that there are approximately 19 million new cases of STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) per year in the US.

On of the thing that greatly concerns me, is the move to ban “reparative therapy” for teens with unwanted same-sex attraction. This is already in place in California, and New Jersey. It is of course being challenged. My understanding is that currently is has been upheld in California, but not in New Jersey. Such laws would (do) apply even to those who are experiencing sexual confusion as the result of abuse.

Surely we need to talk about these things, even if the tyranny of Political Correctness would seek to intimidate any and all opposition to its views into silence!

Should we tolerate intolerance?

It is not that long ago that I was convicted of judging those who judge. We are told not to judge lest we be judged. Judging is not the same as discerning that something is wrong (or disagreeable), judging adds the element of condemnation. We (I) get very close to obnoxious self righteousness when we (I) do this, and at the same time illustrate the truth of the saying that the condemnation of those who judge is just, because we do the very same thing!

Tolerance is different from judgmentalism. Tolerance allows that there is something wrong (or disagreeable), but neither judges nor sets up a campaign to wipe it out. Thus we do not want to tolerate child abuse or bullying, but we should certainly (with some qualifications) tolerate in society, such things as divorce, adultery, different religious beliefs and lifestyles that are different from ours.

The doctrine of Political Correctness (PC) started out right in that it wanted to correct certain injustices and intolerances. It was right to decriminalize homosexuality and to preach tolerance to (especially) religious communities which, at many times and in may places, were (are) not only intolerant but also judgmental. The problem with Political Correctness though (as with 99% of all movements that set out to correct injustices) is that the pendulum has swung over too far in the opposite direction. The thing about the pendulum, when it is swinging, is that it passes the point of balance at maximum speed!

In the case of Political Correctness, in the name of tolerance it has demanded nothing less that total agreement and full acceptance not only of persons, but of the accompanying teachings and lifestyles. When this is not forthcoming it accuses the opposition of fear and hate. Certainly these things exist but again it goes too far confusing disagreement with fear. It cannot see that you can disagree and still love, so it also confuses love with agreement. Thus PC demands dominance not tolerance, and in doing so, at many times and in may places, engages in flagrant intolerance, judgmentalism, fear and hate, the very things it accuses the opposition of.

In a nutshell Political Correctness in just about all its forms is intolerant of anything that does not fully embrace everything it advocates. In particular it is intolerant even of tolerance. I started off by asking if we should tolerate intolerance? The biggest problem I have with PC is that it does not even tolerate tolerance, and in the process it too does the very thing it condemns!

So obviously false, it had to be true!

I was being too clever by far. It was an ice breaker for a gathering of Celebrate Recovery. We had to say two things that were true and one thing that was a lie (good Christian game :) ). He was an MD and told us he had three kidneys. Possible, but a tad unlikely. It was so patently false, it had to be true!

This morning as I was reflecting on the Christmas story and how outrageous is it to expect us to believe it. Expected to believed that He was born of a virgin; that the blind saw and the lame walked; the lepers were cleansed the deaf heard; the dead were raised up and the poor had the gospel preached to them. Expected to believe that He was crucified for us for the forgiveness of our sins, that He was dead and buried (blood and water had separated as they pierced Him) and then He himself rose from the dead. Unbelievable or is it? Is it a complete fabrication, or so obviously false it has to be true?

So, was I just being naive to believe about the kidney, or was I being patently gullible? My problem is that I have seen so much. I have seen the blind see and the lame walk. I have been used, in Jesus name, to open the ears of a man who was 80% deaf (Proof? We found him later covering his ears to protect himself from the noise of the gathering). No I have not seen the dead raised, but I know people who I trust who have (the Bakers of “Iris ministries,” - I trust them implicitly).

One reaction to telling of miracles that I have seen, and others I am convince about, was to to be told “If all this were true, we would have heard about it." My answer is “We do hear, but we don't believe it. And we don't see as much, for example, as Iris ministries do, because we live in a culture of unbelief. So we don't expect, and we don't pray, so we don't get!” Even some Christians don't believe, even though we are told that such signs will follow those who believe! (Mark 16)

Consider this, most people have never really examined any of this with their adult mind. It is easy to dismiss Sunday School type versions of Christianity. One of the greatest pieces of evidence for its truth is found in Judaism. The scriptures foretold so much of of what I have mentioned above – the virgin birth (Isaiah 7:14) – miracles (Isaiah 35:4ff) the crucifixion and raising from the dead (Psalm 22 and Isaiah 53). The unfortunate divide between Christian and Jew ensures that Christianity has not meddled with the prophecies.

But consider also the very existence of Israel. I will scatter you (Jeremiah 9:16;13:24; 18:17 etc) ... I will gather you from the 4 corners of the earth (Isaiah 11:12, Isaiah 43:5 etc). How can a scattered nation survive 2,000 years of being scattered? And how about this "Can a nation be born in a day?" (Isaiah 66:8). Based on this, and long before it happened it was predicted and aided by leaders and friends of Israel such as Chaim Weizmann, Lord Balfour, George V and scores of others. Well it happened on May 14, 1948. There is so much more to say, but hey – this needs to be kept reasonably short or you'll stop reading. :)

So did buddy have three kidneys? No, I was being too smart for my own good! How about you, are you too smart for your own good dismissing Christianity out of hand? In terms of miracles perhaps as much as 2/3 are fake, but 1/3 genuine is a lot of genuine! I challenge you to check it out, there is so much to gain, peace and hope and joy and healing of the soul. Have a good “holiday-mas.” :)

Incomplete but accepted

If you think about it, most of us are out of balance. We are either too fat or too thin, too dumb or too smart for our own good, too rich or too poor (most of us feel we are in the latter category), but in either case never satisfied. We fight too much or too little, living in constant anger or in conflict avoidance. We have too much religion living by rules, rules and more rules, or we have too little, doing whatever our hearts desire (but with a whole bunch of unwanted consequences)! We love ourselves too much, thinking only of ourselves, or we love ourselves too little constantly beating ourselves up for our shortcomings and faults. We have too many regrets or none at all, we are too introspective or avoid self examination at all cost! We never admit it when we are wrong, or we are constantly apologizing for even the smallest thing!

We would do well to become more like little children. I don't mean childish. I mean more like little children in the way that they both forgive easily, and accept forgiveness, and then go on happily as if nothing has happened. I am talking about children who are parented well, whose parents exhibit these same qualities. Many of us were not parented this way, but then likely our parents were not parented this way either. But the child within longs for it, even when we are adults.

Perhaps it's no coincidence that we are told that in order to enter the Kingdom, we must become like little children. In the secure, safe environment of the loving parent the child can flourish and live in the balance of knowing they are incomplete but also knowing they are fully accepted. Though there are rules, it's not about rules, it's about the relationship. This is of course the ideal, in too many homes it is more about the rules than the relationship, in other homes there's neither rules nor relationship and in neither case is there safety, peace and security. Neither do the children of such homes grow up balanced.

I was not balanced either, and I am not saying that I have arrived now, but having entered into relationship with the perfect parent through the work of His Son, I am learning to rest in the assurance of His unconditional acceptance which allows me to be realistic about my imperfections, while at the same time not being overcome by them. I am finding peace in the middle ground so that I am not presumptions (i.e I can do what I like because God will forgive me that's His job!), and living in the ongoing cleansing provided by the blood, I am not constantly overwhelmed by guilt and shame! Forgiven and by His grace able to forgive, I am my heavenly Daddy's favourite child. You can be too. Not quite sure how that works but hey, I don't need to, I just need to feel it and accept it!

In order to become whole, the victim has to become a better person than the abuser!

I want to suggest that in order to become whole, the victim needs to forgive one who does not deserve it, he (or she) needs to not retaliate when provoked, he or she needs to remain calm and gracious in the face of hate and anger, to show mercy when all he or she has been shown is vengeance and malice and disrespect. But this is not maturity 101, these are difficult things to do and be, they exhibit characteristics that are at some level unnatural. They are however the characteristic and behaviours that bring a quality of life that is otherwise unavailable. How many do you know who are bitter and who also have joy? How many do you know who hold grudges and who also have peace, and hope and serenity?

The behaviours and characteristics described above flow out of Kingdom principles as taught, for example, by Christ. He told us “love your enemies, and do good to those who hate you,” and He told us He came that we might have life in all it's fulness. The principles and the promises are linked. You can be non-religious and live by Kingdom principle and they will still work! They say Nelsen Mandela was not religious (at least our beloved CBC does). However in a very practical way, he loved his enemies, and he not only thrived, he inspired and brought much healing to a divided nation. Yes you can be non-religious and live by Kingdom principles, and you can also be religious and not live by Kingdom principles. You might know some of these. The Pharisee is alive and well and living on planet earth! Well surviving anyway!

These things are, as I say, difficult. But it is easier for the Christian who has truly surrendered everything (or is in the process thereof – it is a process!). The reason is that in surrender he (or she) has access to resources the unbeliever does not have. Having made peace with God (through Christ) we have access to the Grace of God that enables us in all of these things. This is Romans chapter 5. In this Chapter, Paul also describes the process of overcoming through this enabling Grace. And overcoming is what in the end it is all about, overcoming through the very practical help (Grace) that God gives to those who fully cooperate with Him in the process of our becoming more like Him.

After we have made peace with God through Christ then next thing starts with a stop. We (yes me too) need to stop fighting the people and circumstances that God allows as part of His refining process. I am not suggesting we need to be door mats, but in my own experience I had to come to the place where I realized that I am the only one I can change, and only then with His help. The surrender of which I speak concerns letting go of lots of things. As the serenity prayer puts it “God grant me the serenity to accept those things I cannot change, the courage to change those things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Having prayed this, we then need to trust His promise that He will actively work out all things together for our good. With His help we can all be in the process of becoming better (in the way I described – not in a self righteous way) than those who often continue to hurt us. The enabling He provides also comes with hope and peace and joy and love. It's worth it all. I speak as one in process.

We are not what happened to us

I was reminded of this saying when visiting a dear friend recently. He was not part of the conversation, but the illustration of this principle in one who lived this out to the full (Nelsen Mandela) did not escape me. His life illustrates so clearly that we do not need to be for ever trapped and continually wounded by the bad things that have happened to us in the past. To come out of his three decades of unjust imprisonment, and show the kind of grace he did to those who so unjustly treated him, reminds me so much of the one to whom I owe my allegiance, Jesus of Nazareth, whose birth we will shortly celebrate (at least I will).

Most of us bear the scars of difficult happenstances, of bad things others have done to us, and of the consequences of our own poor choices. Anger, bitterness and self pity so often trap us in the past, and rob us of any kind of wholesome future. I don't know about you, but I want more than a life of quiet desperation. But is it hard sometimes to forgive, hard to put obsessive thoughts behind us, difficult to get past the pain of betrayals real and imagined, too easy to place blame and absolve ourselves of any wrong, to nurse the injustices and plot to get even. Been there, done that and bought the t-shirt!

It does not help when others tell us “get over it.” They have not walked in our moccasins! Nevertheless getting over it is what needs to happen. What helped me to get over my own daemons was the discovery that I could have an ongoing relationship with the source of all love and peace and joy and hope. In finding intimacy with Him, I found healing and the wherewithal to continue, as I gave all my pain and anger and bitterness to the One who endured so much more than I ever will. In relationship with Him, I found release from the past, and so very much more. I even got to like myself. That was a big plus (when I stopped beating myself up!).

I am not saying I have arrived, I have not. I still struggle at times with all sorts of things, including my own selfishness. In fact in getting close to Him, I see that more and more clearly. But I would not have survived without Him. Some would call this a crutch, but to me it is more like a brand new pair of legs, and if we are honest, most of us are (or were) limping! Some of us are what happened to us, but we do not need to be!

I want to do what I want to do, but not the consequences please!

“Dear Lord please change reality so that the things that I want to do, do not have the consequences they do. Please take away my pain without my having to deal with my issues, please let me be able to get drunk without doing anything too foolish, and without a hangover. Please let me be mean to others and they loving to me. Please change the school of hard knocks to the school of soft strokes. Amen.

P.S. On second thoughts Lord, perhaps you should leave things as they are - not sure I would have learned anything!”

It was good for me to be afflicted, so that I might learn your decrees

This reaction of the Psalmist, to see the good in his suffering, was not my immediate reaction to the pain of my messed up life. Like most people I cried out “Why me,” and looked for someone else to blame. The ones closest at hand, not being perfect, supplied sufficient ammunition for me to easily rationalize my own innocence.

But when we cry out “Why me,” we are likely crying out to God, same as when, in the rude awakenings of life, the words “Oh my God” escape from our lips. In lesser times it is likely swearing, but not in the really hard times. At least it was this way for me. When the pain got deep enough and lasted long enough, I came to the place I was desperate enough to cry out “God if you are there please help me!” When we really mean it, He shows Himself. He did for me, and He promises to do that for anyone who will search for Him with all of their heart. Note the searching is to be with all of the heart, not with all of the the mind. When we do this we find Him, not because we we are clever, in fact our cleverness coupled with our pride can be a real hinderance. No we find Him when we search with all of our hearts, because He, in His Mercy, shows Himself.

This is the testimony of how I found Him. But really He was searching for me. He used the pain of my own and other's choices to bring me to the place where I was willing to change whatever I needed to change in order to find peace, hope and joy. In doing this I found Him, the source of all these things. I am not talking about finding religion, I am not talking about a set of lifeless and unmotivated rules imposed from above, I am talking about finding a loving relationship with the creator that only He could make possible. A relationship between a prideful, selfish, self centred individual such as me, with a Holy righteous and loving God. It was of course the cross that made the reconciliation possible.

Now many years later in the quiet time I spend with Him every day, I came across the title of this post in the Psalms. It stood out to me, because it now makes perfect sense. I am of course sorry for all the hurt I caused others with my stubborn selfishness. Nevertheless I am now grateful for the affliction that came upon me as consequences of my own and others choices. I am grateful, because it lead me to start to know (I have not yet arrived) the safety and the wisdom of His Decrees, and the peace and joy of fellowship with Him, whom to know is the essence of life itself.

Quiet desperation and unwilling/unable to change

There is a recovery saying that goes like this “We will not change until the pain of being stuck becomes greater than the pain and fear of change.” The saying came up at a recent Celebrate Recovery meeting (a Biblical 12 step program – I joined recently). We were discovering how very much alike we all are, even though we may struggle with different things. In particular we discovered how resistant to change we all are!

Some see Psychology and faith as incompatible, but my observations is that where Psychology works, it either reflects or illuminates Biblical principles. In this particular case, it illustrates/illuminates the principle that we reap what we sow (there are consequences and/or benefits to what we do). Of course on the negative side, we are affected by the bad things others do to us, but we are also messed up by the things we do, and even by the wrong responses to the wrong done.

A lot of us are in denial -about this, and the first of the 12 steps is to come out of denial. Interesting teaching here in the acrostic D-E-N-A-I-L. Firstly denial Disables our feelings since it also involves suppressing our emotions. Then is saps our Energy, it Negates our growth, it Isolates us from God, it Alienates us from our significant relationships, and finally it Lengthens the pain.

Certainly, coming out of denial and dealing with the issues is also painful, but in my experience the short term pain leads to long term gain. And the advantage of the Biblical approach, is that it points you to the true source of power plus the desire to do what needs to be done. In particular, when we fully cooperate with God – He actively works to change wrong desires and to give us the wherewithal to do what needs to be done, or to stop doing what is destructive (this is Philippians 2:12,13). It starts with trusting the One who is utterly trustworthy, then continuing in His Word. Then we will be progressively both willing and able to come into the true freedom He provides. He did this, and is doing it for me (not arrived yet though, so please be patient with me!).

Does God grade on the curve?

I heard the siren and pulled over. - “You were speeding sir”. - 'Yes'. - “What?” - 'Yes I was speeding'. - “Go on, get out of here”. Apparently the officer was not used to people owning up! When I got back in the car, I told my buddy “That is what I want when I die”. 'What?' he asked. “Mercy, not justice!”

Many people say that they expect God to weigh their good deeds with the bad, that is to grade on the curve. Quite apart form the fact that God probably expects a good deal more than this, it doesn't really make any sense. Suppose I had tried to argue with the officer – but officer there have been hundreds of days that I was not speeding, and I help little old ladies across the road whenever I see them (even if they don't need my help :) ). Do you think it would work? Seriously now? So why do we expect this to work with God?

One of the problems I find in my own life is that I do not even live up to my own expectations, and surely to know to do good and not to do it is also wrong. Jesus tells that when we see the hungry (on TV or not) and do not feed them, He deals with this the same as us seeing Him hungry and not feeding Him. The Scripture tells us that in many things we all fail. The closer I get to God the more I am aware of this. But though I am not complete, I am accepted, and it's all by His Grace and Mercy. Grace is not getting what you deserve (especially for the bad). And it was made possible by the substitutionary death of Christ on the cross. Justice, in the other hand is about getting what we do deserve (for both the good and bad!). What do you want when you die Mercy and Grace, or Justice. Mercy and Grace are a gift, but we do need to receive them.

For whoever wants to save his life will lose it ...

This is one of those sayings of Jesus that seems at first to make no sense at all, but rather to be complete and total nonsense. It is totally at odds with the conventional wisdom that if I don't look after number one, nobody will. And if we are alone in the World, if God does not exist or He does, but is not actively at work for good for those who love Him, then it is indeed nonsense.

We have probably all heard the saying “Life sucks and then you die.” Indeed if this life is all there is, then it is not fair, there is very little justice, and in the end any justice that there is, is usually the result of a very long fight! I read recently that in the States the “majority of homicides now go unsolved at dozens of big-city police departments,” and that the overall statistics leave over 35% of all homicides unsolved. Talk about getting away with murder. Perhaps it's no wonder so many end up taking the Law into their own hands. It is of course a recipe for anarchy. It's the same when we try to control everyone and everything around us. But what is a body to do?

The problem is not new. Thousands of years ago the Psalmist was complaining to God that the ungodly always seemed to be at ease and getting away with things. So what, he complained, was the use in living a pure life with integrity. His foot had almost slipped (He had almost given up), until he got back into fellowship with God where the long term view became clear, and in particular where he could see their end in the hereafter. It is this long term view that so often enables the believer to “let go, and let God.”

If there is no God there is no justice, but there is a God, and in the final analysis He will do what He promises to do and that is to right every wrong, as well as wiping away every tear. This being the case, it makes sense to leave the hard things to Him. The beauty of knowing the truth that He is and that He will do what He promised, is that I no longer need to play God. I do not have to fix everything that is “broke.” I do not have to extract revenge for every real and perceived injustice done to me. I am not saying we should door mats, but in the past I held onto things long after my holding on was doing anything but make things worse and make me miserable into the bargain. I have learned that there is a time to get out of the way and let God deal with the circumstance or the other buddy or the whatever. In the process I am finding a lot more peace and a lot more joy. By hanging on I lost my life, but by letting go I found it again. I am so glad it is all true! Jesus is a wise dude!

You are the only one you can change! Mmm!

There is much wisdom in this secular saying. How many of us have tried to change others, our spouse, our children, those in our sphere of influence. And when it is not working how often do we redouble our efforts becoming manipulative or bullying, with fits of anger or with sullen punishing silences? We may bully them into submission in this way, but we do not really change them, and all of this takes a toll on relationships, breeding resentment, fear, anger and the like. It is not the stuff of intimacy or warm fuzzy feelings! I will come back to this below, but what I want to say here is that there is indeed wisdom in the advice that suggests we let go, stop trying to manipulate others into doing and being what we think is best for them and for us!

On the other hand, there is a way that we can and do change others. We can, it seems, very easily change people for the worse. As I just pointed out our bullying can increase the resentment and the fear. But most of us want to change others for the better (or at least to make life easier for ourselves!). Another difficulty with the saying concerns our ability to even change ourselves. The first step in any of the 12 step programs has to do with admitting to ourselves and others areas where we are definitely not in control, our addictions for example, or our hurts, habits and hang ups.

I am not saying that we cannot change, what I am saying is that most of us (those not in denial) need help to change even ourselves. Secular self help can give insight into how we got into the messes we get ourselves into, and it can help us to see where we need to change, but it does little to facilitate such change. In secular self help it's all up to us, and this is where secular self help comes up short, and where, when we let Him, we can receive much help from God. I am very much aware for my own part how even my desires need to change, because I often want things I know are not good for me. But how do you change your wants? Well, the Scriptures promise us that when we fully submit to and cooperate with Him, in ongoing relationship with Him and His Word, then He is actively at work in us both to change our desires and to give us the wherewithal to do what is good and right and proper (Philippians 2:12,13). This is part of the good news of the gospel.

The other aspect of faith that helps with this saying concerns the truth of the gospel. Within the ongoing relationship with God we come to know more and more that it is all true. We come increasingly to know the truth and the truth increasingly sets us free (John 8:32). Even the secular version requires faith. The problem with the secular version is “faith in what?” In one self help book I read “We can trust that life is a gentle teacher.” Really? My experience of life has more to do with the school of hard knocks! On the other hand, within the faith community as we get to know and trust the God of all truth we put our trust in Him and in His promises. For example we trust that, even though we may not immediately see how this works we do see, with the eyes of faith, that He is actively at work for good, even in the evil that befall us (Romans 8:28).

The truth is even more powerful, because when we let go and stop trying to manipulate the other person to change (often in a way that may not be helpful) then we free God up to work in the other person. That is part of the Romans promise. To put this negatively You are the only one, ultimately, who can get in God's way of working in that persons life. As with children when one child tries to take over from the parent, the parent finishes up dealing with the interference rather than the problem that provoked it all. So let go and let God change both them and you.

The poison of guilt, shame and resentment

I shared a poster on facebook recently that said “Holding a grudge is like letting someone live rent free in your head.” I can relate to that, because there was a time when my undealt with anger resulted in resentful thoughts going round, and round, and round in my head. It's poison, and the ones it poisons most is firstly myself, and then those I love.

But it is not just bitterness and resentment that is poison. All of them are. It is helpful to distinguish between guilt and shame. Guilt says “I have done something wrong,” shame says “There is something wrong with me.” We can suppress and/or deny our guilt, but it eats away at us anyway. If it's not affecting us, why do we get angry when someone takes a stand against the sort of thing we have done, undermining our rationalization? Shame, when we embrace it undermines us, it keeps us hidden in relationships, often even with ourselves, certainly from others. It sabotages intimacy and friendship which too often become superficial. Then we wonder why we are lonely.

The cure for resentment and bitterness is to forgive. There is a lot to forgive, but it helps me to know that there are many things that others need to forgive me for. The cure for guilt is to be forgiven, and there is only One whose forgiveness really matters, the One who paid the price for all our wrong doing. The cure for shame, is to know that I am loved, that I am significant that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. You may not feel that way about me, but that no longer matters, because the One who forgave me thinks I am the bees knees, and I am learning to rest in that. It's the only way to fly!

I am only as sick as my secrets

They say everybody has a skeletons or two in the closet. You know, the secrets we hope nobody will ever discover. Well some skeletons are smellier than others, and the smellier they are, the more defensive we are likely to be, the more covered, the more fearful about the possibility of discovery.

With all the recent Senate scandals in the news, there seems to be an emphasis on transparency. I am thinking about certain politicians coming out and admitting “Well yes I smoked pot once or twice in my youth.” I don't know how believable the “once or twice” is, or how recent the youth (I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up!), but there is something about confession that is indeed good for the soul.

It is a Biblical principle actually “Confess your faults one to another, that you may be healed.” We have not done this well either inside or outside the Church. Well it's hard, you have to allow yourself to be vulnerable, and let's face it people can be very judgmental. I have been called to a level of openness that quite frankly is scarey. More than once I have had the experience of a confession coming back to me as accusation. It is not a lot of fun! The Biblical admonition though, if done properly, would preclude this. It is “to one another,” not to a priest, not to the World in general (as in airing one's dirty laundry in public), but to one another. That is to someone who will in turn confess to you. This way it is held in confidentiality. So we need to find people (one, a small group, a fellowship) who are safe, non-judgmental, encouraging, affirming and who will come along side to help us get up and out of the pits we too easily fall into. It's called humility.

It is good to get these things off our chest, it is healing, and no more so within a genuine Christian faith where the assurance that “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins,” plays a powerful role in the healing process. What a feeling to be forgiven, to be able to start over with a clean conscience – justified (just as if I had never sinned), free. When we keep up the high and towering walls to safeguard our secrets, we keep the bad in as well as the bad out, and we also keep the good out too. We are only as sick as our secrets.

In the beginning, nothing created everything that is out of nothing!

There are basically three philosophical possibilities for origins. Firstly there is the possibility that the universe always existed. In spite of the fact that this contradicts the theory of relativity, many Scientists held this view even as recently as the 1960's (it was called the steady state theory). Even Einstein believed this until the red shift observed in the spectrum of light emitted from distant stars confirmed the expanding universe. As far as I know nobody holds this view today.

The second possibility is that something outside the Universe and independent of it (God, god, gods, the force etc.) created everything that is out of nothing. The third possibility is the naturalistic explanation, the view that the observable universe is all there is. The claim by those who hold this third view is that this is the most logical of the three positions. But is it?

There are many who affirm that evolution has given us a perfectly valid explanation of it all. Now I am not writing today to debate evolution (but see “Not invested in the truth or falsity of evolution” November 2012), however it is simply not true that evolution explains it all. Even if you hold that the evolution of all things evolved from a single cell, you still have to ask where the single cell came from. In an interview Richard Dawkins, the well known evangelical (in his zeal) proponent of this view, was asked what evidence he had for his belief that only natural explanations of the universe are valid. He had to admit that he had none. So he and others who hold this view hold it by faith. And in terms of origins, their faith statement boils down to “In the beginning, nothing created everything that is out of nothing!” Is this really more logical than the theistic view?

“inasmuch as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.”

For many people it is Jesus “yes,” and the Church “no.” I understand this well. I have been hurt more by those who claim to know Him than those who don't. I supposed I expected more, but I don't intent to let it put me off Him! But here's a question, what would you do if you saw Jesus hungry and naked (that is part of what the quote from Matthew 25 is about)?

I don't want to downplay our very real needs or our very real difficulties, but compared with much of the world, we in the West are all filthy stinking rich. According to UNICEF over 22,000 children die every day due to poverty. That is over one child every 4 seconds. So how many died while you were reading this? And how much suffering results from just one such death? It is easy to be overwhelmed, it is easy think I can do nothing. This post was prompted by pictures face book friends posted, and I suggested “Opportunity International” as an effective way to help some. Even if we only help one, the mother of that child will be eternally grateful. Jesus also said “... inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’ I cannot do nothing, how about you?

Happy are the poor in spirit

It's a few years ago now that I resigned my self appointed task as keeper of the Universe. Well it was not really the whole universe, but I had been feeling responsible for a lot more than I now feel for things outside of my control. I also stopped worrying as much about what people thought of me, and I started to define success in very different terms than I had earlier.

The above quotation from the sermon on the mount is a huge stumbling block for our culture, where self reliance and individualism rule, where career, financial success, and making it big is what it's all about. We are told that “Only the weak need religion.” For me it's more like a brand new pair of legs.

The (often self imposed) pressure we feel to be successful, to need nobody, to be beautiful, intelligent, rich, powerful causes us to hide who we really are. It results in our living outside of reality, because nobody can be all these things. We are often afraid to let others know who we really are because we believe if others really knew the truth about us they would reject us. What is it they say “Most men live lives of quiet desperation”? But we don't all admit it even when we do!

There are a couple of equal and opposite errors to avoid here. On the one hand there is the unhealthy dependency that signifies a lack of maturity, an unwillingness to take responsibility for our thoughts actions and attitudes, a dependency that leans too heavily on others placing the blame on them whenever things go wrong. It is a strong indication that we have not yet grown up.

But there is an opposite error, and one that many fall into. Let me start by asking who is the more mature, one who cannot surrender some of his or her independence or one who can? What I am saying is that independence is not the greatest form of maturity, what is more mature is interdependence, that is a willingness to admit that I have not arrived, that I have needs others can help me with.

Now I am a Mathematician. I have often said that it is harder to be arrogant when you are a Mathematician (it's not impossible, but you have to work a little harder!). The point is that no matter how much you know, it is perfectly obvious that (in the words of Newton) you are doing nothing more than splashing about on the shore of the vast ocean of knowledge. To put it another way, in Mathematics you cannot ask a question without showing your ignorance. So I ask my peers lots of questions. But I know more than I would, because I get at least some of those questions answered.

Now I do need to do what I can do, but I will not learn as much if I am unwilling to admit my ignorance. And it is here that we find the balance and avoid both of these equal and opposite errors. So in Mathematics so in life. If we are unwilling to admit or even see that in many places we are weak, and in many things we all fail, then we will not be living in reality and we will not seek the help that we all need!

It's the first step in recovery “I admitted that I am powerless over .....” And we are either in recovery, or we are in denial. I prefer another river (different from “de Nile” - groan – I know – I am of course talking about Ezekiel's river - Ezekiel 47).

To do what we already know is right

While it is true that many Christians get caught up in legalism (rigid adherence to often times man made rules) the opposite error screws us up just as much. If we are honest with ourselves, not one of us lives up to what we already know is right. I know I don't. That is why I need forgiveness and why, as I often put it, I need my Anglican fix (confession and absolution, and I never feel so free and so clean as when after I have blown it, I go and confess to Him and ask His help to do better – this is the very opposite of a guilt trip!).

We live in a culture that has lost it's way, that no longer knows what is right and wrong. We can know, but it's not about figuring it out intellectually. It starts with working from where we are at, it starts with being consistent with what we already believe is right and what is wrong. When we go against our own conscience we sear it (the image is of being seared with a red hot iron – after a while there is no feeling!). We have all done it, given in to what we knew was wrong and then suppressed the guilt. But guilt is not dealt with by sitting on it, it is dealt with by being forgiven. When we sit on it, it becomes easier the next time to do the same thing, and then after a while we change our minds about it being wrong. We can even get belligerent at those who hold the view we formerly held!

I have shared this illustration before but it stuck with me. The girl in the caff who told me “I don't think adultery is wrong.” I suspect she was hitting on me, but I looked her in the eye and told her “That's because you want to do it.” Her hand came up not quite quickly enough to hide her “guilty as charged smile.” The point is that we are so very very good at justifying what we do. So that our morality is tied more to what we do, than to what we (initially) believe. And what we do changes what we believe (no one wants to be a villain in his or her own eyes!).

The way forward is to start by doing the things we already know are right, and by being open to admit it when we are wrong. It's all summed up in a saying of Jesus “Anyone who chooses to do the will of God will find out whether my teaching comes from God or whether I speak on my own.” Doing is believing!

Redemption - a different kind of bail

I was in prison recently (no no only visiting - with the alpha program). In leading worship in one of the listed songs “There is a redeemer, ” I had to wonder if the men all knew what it meant. I explained it this way “When you have blown it and have to face the penalty, a redeemer is one who bails you out permanently.” When we break the law of the land we may need to serve a prison term, and bail here on earth does not save us from the penalty, it only gets us out until we come to trial. Before the bar of God the offense is forgiven and He casts my sin into the deepest sea and posts a “no fishing” sign. This “no fishing” is especially for me, no more guilt trips thank you! What I love about God is that moments after my confession I can climb up on His lap and He receives me as if I never sinned!

The redeemer we are talking about is of course Jesus Christ, and He made redemption possible through His death on the cross (He paid a debt He did not owe, I owed a debt I could not pay!). Here on earth there is the matter of getting caught. On the other hand He sees everything, but the way to get away with the many things of which we are all guilty, is to repent and seek His forgiveness. Being forgiven does not mean we will not have to face the consequences of our mistakes and wrong doing. We do reap what we sow. It is good news though to know that with Him we can always start over with a clean sheet. That is a big part of what the new birth is really all about, a chance to start over. This is good news indeed, and you only find this with God. Our fellows here below find it a tad harder to forgive. When people ask me how I am doing I often say “The Lord loves me, it's the rest of the world I'm having trouble with!” We (I) need to be more like Him in the forgive and forget department! The World would be a better place!

I used to think Jesus was clever ....

I used to think Jesus was clever because of the way he could take every day things and use them to illustrate the spiritual. The saying I used the other day “We reap what we sow” is an example of this. There is more to this saying that the simple implication that our actions have consequences. For example if you plant one potato in the spring, how many do expect to get when you dig up in the fall? Well yes many (some 30 fold, some 60 some 100). This works both positively and negatively, and we can rejoice in the abundant harvest of the good, and weep for the overwhelming harvest of the bad.

The “s” word (sin) has virtually gone out of our vocabulary in this “anything goes” culture in which we live. But you can be sure of one thing (or you will be eventually) that the things the Scriptures call sin all have unwanted consequences. In terms of reaping what we sow one preacher put it this way: “Sin takes us further than we want to go, keeps us longer than we want to stay and costs us more than we want to pay.”

So I used to think that Jesus was clever, but in the end I realized that He is far more clever than I ever imagined. I came to realize that He designed creation to be a living parable of the spiritual. So there are both weeds and wheat, joy and sorrow. Spring is a parable of resurrection, fall reminds us that all things come to an end. And as we can see the beauty of the fall in the fall colours, so we can learn to grow old gracefully and appreciate the finer things of life. Or (as I used to do in our all too short summers) resent the fact that the weather is getting colder, and the days shorter. After the fall, if we have eyes to see and patience to wait, we can see that it's not always winter. So when we go through the seasons of barrenness, when it looks like everything is dead, through our experience of the seasons we can see that God is at work even in that time preparing for the new birth and the new growth of spring.

Jesus is widely regarded as the best teacher the world ever had. Both His words and His creation can instruct us in the way that we should go. And if we are listening we will reap the good fruit of listening. If we are not we will reap the harvest of not doing so. In particular we cut ourselves off from the source of all real love and joy and peace and hope. The Lord is speaking to us in creation, in the stars as the heavens declare the Glory of God. He is speaking to me in my gardening as am gardening for the first time in years (more to come). The question then is this “Are we listening, are you, am I?”

You think you're misunderstood!

Not that long ago, I was complaining to the Good Lord that I feel misunderstood. His tongue in cheek reply to me boiled down to “You think you're misunderstood? Buddy you ain't seen nothing. What about all those obnoxious religious types who say they represent me but don't? What about all the self righteous hypocrites who claim to speak for me but don't even know me? What about all the blame, all the bad mouthing I get when things go wrong, all the false accusations all the nasty things people say and think about me? You think you have a problem. My son, you ain't seen nothing.”

Jesus tells us that there is a thief, that he has an agenda and it is to kill steal and destroy. He is also a liar and the father of lies. He seems to have two strategies: In the West he seems to want to persuade us that he does not exist. Our African brothers and sisters on the other hand, know well that he does, and that he likes to display his power both to fascinate and to induce fear!

His strategies seem to be very effective. When things go wrong we need someone to blame. In the West it is either God or those who believe in Him, or it's the other buddy. Don't get me wrong, we are by and large far from guiltless. As I pointed out the other day, the default is to blame anyone but ourselves. Part of this is that we listen to the father of lies, are deceived by him and so unconsciously do his bidding. And part this, is our widespread rejection of the guidance that God has given us in the Book He inspired.

There is a Biblical principle that we reap what we sow. If we plant potatoes we don't get carrots. Our rejection of the moral laws of the Universe have unwanted consequences, and God, in His love, wants to use the pain of these consequences to bring us back to Himself. This is how I found Him. When the School of hard knocks finally brought me to the place where I stopped blaming others, I could start to see that His ways are good and right and proper. I turned to Him and found peace and joy and hope and strength to do what without Him I could not, and cannot do. I too had misunderstood God, I hadn't thought He cared. When I turned to Him I discovered relationship with the nicest person in the universe. It's not rocket science “God good, Devil bad.” Who will/do you follow? Whether we know it or not, one way or the other we follow him or Him! Don't agree? If you don't and I am right, you are deceived. Perhaps its me who is deceived, but then I do have peace and joy, and I am a lot more patient than I was. Sounds like God to me :)!

“The woman You gave” … Playing the blame game.

Sooner or later we need (whether we do it is another question) to start to ask “How did I get myself into this mess?” Human nature seems to be such that in seeking to answer this question, we will likely look for someone to blame. We come by this honestly (even when it is dishonest!). When God asked Adam in the garden if he had eaten the forbidden fruit, the first words out of his mouth were “The woman you gave ...” In other words, it's the woman's fault, and actually God it's your fault too, You are the one who gave her to me!

It's not hard to find someone to blame, I mean nobody is perfect, least of all me. But have you noticed (especially in others) we all seem to have this tendency to minimize our own faults and maximize the other buddies? We see this in Adam too. In stead of taking responsibility for his own decisions, he laid the blame full on the Mrs. I mean she started it right? The problem with the blame game though, is that it does not lead to fullness of life. It can leave us unhappy, bitter and cranky, and far too often we finish up with a shipwrecked relationship. Well he/she does not understand me, he/she is selfish, he/she only thinks of number 1, is always doing things to deliberately annoy me. It's enough to make you into a recluse!

In many ways I just described me, at least me before I encountered the Lord. At the break up of my first marriage I blamed her 100% for the difficulties, it was only later that I started to discover that I was (and am) far from innocent. It seems to be very common in a relationship break up for both sides to lay 100% of the blame on the other one. Part of the problem is that we don't know ourselves very well. I have come to suspect that the one I would have the most difficulty with is a carbon copy of myself walking down the road in the opposite direction. In other words I have found it a real challenge when I come across my own faults in an other. I noticed this first in others. Shortly after conversion, I encountered this young woman who came our meetings. She talked and talked and talked non stop. Taking her home one time she was going on and on about another person in the group. “I can't stand him,” she said. When I asked what it was about him that she disliked here response was “Well you can't get a word in edgeways!” It was a perfect of example of a Biblical saying which talks about our judging in others, the very thing we do ourselves.

It is so much easier to see the other person's faults. What is not so easy is to see them in ourselves. We will be examining (checking out) a saying of Jesus about the truth setting us free. The Scripture also talks about speaking the truth in love. My experience is that no matter how gently, how much love and affection I have for the other one, most people seem to find it almost impossible to hear the truth. We seem to fall into two equal and opposite errors, we speak the truth but not in love, or we conflict avoid keeping quiet pushing the “little foxes” under the rug until what is under the rug is a monster. So often though, when we speak the truth even in love, we enter into a tunnel of conflict, and more often than not we exit post haste the same direction we went in! What I am saying is that our ability to give and receive the truth is something of a lost art. But healthy relationships cannot exist without vulnerability, honesty and humility.

In my first marriage I fought too much, in my second not enough. Fighting can be constructive or destructive. Learning to control our anger is important. Seeing each other's point of view is so very very necessary. Learning to listen is paramount. The best place for us to come in our relationship difficulties is to the foot of the Cross of Christ. You see when we compare ourselves with each other we are not wise, but when we compare ourselves with Jesus, we have more of a realistic picture of who we are, and what we should be. As they drove cruel spikes into His hands and feet He prayed “Father forgive them, they do not know what they are doing.” I have a ways to go. How about you? At the foot of the cross, I see I have not arrived, but at the foot of the cross I see that there is full acceptance and forgiveness. At the foot of the cross we are leveled, "for all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God". Knowing how much we need to be forgiven helps us to see how much we need to forgive. At the foot of the cross we start the process of becoming more like Him. At the foot of the cross we, and our relationships, start to become whole.

Will it matter 50 years from now?

She was understandably upset, her two year old daughter, who had been quite for most of the trip suddenly started squawking. We were about to land in the midst of a pea souper fog in jolly old St. John's Newfoundland on this Victoria day Weekend. As usual the weather is the pits!

The squawking was not what upset her, it was the reaction of a fellow passenger who was angry at being disturbed by the noise. He had made his displeasure known in no uncertain terms, and had stalked off down the isle out of hearing, the instant the seat belt signs were tuned off. She was left there feeling like a criminal for not controlling her daughter's squawking (her ears were probably hurting from the descent!).

I looked the young woman in the eye, smiled at her and told her “You daughter was simply expressing what we all feel – coming back to the pitsy weather on the holiday weekend.” As I talked and explained how some people have unreasonable expectations she began to calm down. She is only 2 for goodness sake! I don't remember most of what else I said, but do remember saying that one of the things I had been trying to do when I am upset is to ask the question “Is this going to matter in 50 years from now?” And it is isn't then I am not going to allow it to matter now. Life it too short to allow unreasonable people to rob me of my joy.

What I did not tell her (not enough time, not enough relationship) was that I have a source to help me with this, my relationship with the Lord. In prayer and cooperation with Him I am learning to do this. Journaling helps too, as does sitting before Him and praying through the scriptures.

She smiled at me as I passed her a few moments later as she was waiting for the stroller to be brought up to the door. Her smile told me that I had made a difference (small for sure), and that made me feel good too and was compensation as I came back to the reality of Newfoundland weather!

You are loved, I am loved

The simple truth that we are loved is somehow the most difficult to absorb in the sense that our knowing we are loved makes a difference in our lives. Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Yea, yea I know that, but do you really know it?

Stacey Campbell tells the story of how a mouse got loose about her house, and finished up in her jeans. Now Stacy is frightened to death of mice, and this day as she and her husband were driving down the road Stacey discovered this lump in her jeans. When she felt the lump it was soft and furry. It was of course the mouse, and she freaked out. Luckily it was her husband who was driving. “There's a mouse in my pants” screamed Tracey. “I know” her husband responded. But did he know that Tracey had a mouse in her pants, the same way that Tracey knew she had a mouse in her pants? I think not. Tracey knew that she knew, that she knew.

In the same way it is only when we know that we know, that we know that God loves us (in other words that we experience His love in a profound way) that we are changed. Stacey had the kind of knowledge about the mouse that changed her behaviour. So we too need to know that we are loved in this way. When I hear of others who have deep personal encounters with Him, there is something that raises up within me and says “I want that.”

We can have as much of God as we want, the problem many times is that we want other stuff more. I cry out to Him for a closer walk with Him. I tell Him to come to me, no matter what the cost. I tell Him to ignore me when I ask for anything else, when I am distracted by the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh and the pride of life! Change my heart oh God! Then I tell myself. I am beloved of God. I need to keep saying it until I believe it, and then I need to say it because it is true! I am loved by almighty God.

Father bring me to the place where I know, that I know, that I know that I am loved by You. In Jesus name Amen!

There is no resurrection without a death

At this Easter time we who know the Lord naturally turn to consider the One who gave himself for us. Starting with His humble washing of the disciples feet, His actions and His attitude symbolize His willingness to take the lowest place. They show His patience with the immaturity of the disciples (and so with ours), His willingness to bear on the Cross the sins of the whole world (including yours and mine), and to forgive those who drove cruel spikes through His hand and His feet. In all this He shines as an example to imitate, but most of us fall far short of this most of the time. In fact we can't even start to be like Him without His help, not even close. If we are to follow Him and to become more like Him, to be transformed into His likeness, then we will need to go through a series of deaths and resurrections in the here and now!

We were looking at Isaiah 30 in our last weekly service. It's worth looking at! We were asking what needed to die in the attitudes of Israel of the exile, and what needs to die in us so that we can become more like Him. When we put our trust in anything except God (as Israel had done), we (like them) inevitable find out that it backfires (verses 1-5). When we continue to leave God out of the equation, trusting in ourselves or even others as opposed to God, we get into trouble. When we refuse to deal with the things in our lives that need to be dealt with (verses 10 and 11), then things build up and build up until, as in verses 13 and 14, the high and towering walls we have build to keep Him out bulge and collapse with a sudden devastating collapse.

Far too often we continue to peruse all our own way until the disaster, the loneliness, emptiness and the pain catch up with us. That is until we reap the living death that “doing it my way” brings. This part of us needs to die, our radical independence from God needs to die, our self seeking needs to die, our determination to get even with others taking revenge into our own hands needs to die, our pride needs to die. These are just some the many things that keep us from Him in the first place, that keep us from peace, that demonstrate that we do not trust Him to work things out for us. We think that if we don't be always be looking out for number one then no one will. And in doing this, we close our ears to His solutions. But when we come to the end of ourselves we hear Him say “I will look after you if trust in me. Do it my way and you will live."

When we find ourselves in this place of death, our salvation is found in turning back to Him in “quietness and confidence.” This is where our strength lies (verse 15). Until we come to this place our lives continue to crumble before our very eyes (verse 16 and 17). In the meantime, the Lord waits so that He can be gracious to us (verse 18). Like those who would rescue the drowning need to wait until the frantic struggling ceases before they can be rescued, so He waits for us to stop struggling, to come to the end of ourselves and cry out to Him in surrender. And when we do, He brings us many things including His comfort (verse 19). He shows us the way to live our lives, giving us teachers to show us the way (verse 20), and we learn to hear His voice guiding us in the way that we should go, and helping us get back on the path when we have strayed (verse 21). And not only this, He gives us a loathing for the addictions and the influences that lead us astray in the first place and kept us stuck. He tells us “You will loth them saying 'Get away detestable idols'” (verse 22). He also provides abundantly for us and heals all of the wounds of the fruit of our rebellion. He heals our broken hearts (verses 23-26).

So He waits for you and me, so He can do all of these things. He waits until we start to see and feel and experience clearly the results and consequences of our independence from Him. He waits for us to be willing to die to ourselves, for us to be willing by His Spirit to put to death the deeds and the desires of the flesh (Romans 8:13). And then He promises resurrection in the here and now. At the end of time, yes that of course, but also in the here and now. He came that we might have life in all it's fullness (John 10:10), but it will not happen unless we are willing to cooperate with Him in putting to death that which needs to die, so that His resurrection life may course through us. That is what this passage in Isaiah is all about. It is in turning to Him in quietness and confidence as we sit before Him that His resurrection power starts its wonderful work in us and gives us the will to do what is good and pleasing and fulfilling in Him. Truly there is no resurrection without death! Are you willing to die (am I) so that you (I) may truly live?

If you want to pray: Father I choose to cooperate with Your Spirit to put to death the deeds and desires of the sinful nature. Lord replace those desires that lead me astray, with a desire and an ability to worship You and to give You the praise, the honour and the Glory that You so richly deserve. In Jesus' name Amen

(Love) bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Corinthians 13:7)

We are commanded to love God and love our neighbour. The colour of our love (what it looks like) can be seen in our response and attitude in two directions (a) horizontally down here towards each other, and (b) vertically upwards towards God. The Scripture tells us that “We love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19). Some versions have it that we love Him because He first loved us, other versions omit the “Him.” For the Christian (i.e. the “we” of the context) both things are true. That is that our ability to love at all, be it Him, others or ourselves is because He initiated and initiates love. He is the (ongoing) source, the motivator and the enabler of love. This is true whether it comes to us through others who may not even acknowledge Him, or if it comes directly in our one on one relationship with Him.

The first, and perhaps clearest time I heard God's voice (I don't know how I knew it was Him, I just did) He asked me “Why are you running away from me Phil, all I want you to do is to love for me.” I cringe when I think about it now, but I told Him “I don't need you for that.” With 20/20 hindsight I should have solved the problems of the World while I still knew everything (I was sixteen).

There was a song “chip, chip” I heard on steam radio when I was boy. The song compared our love to a mansion and how the negative things in life chip away at it. One stanza stands out “One little wrong brings on the gloom, puts a chill in-a every room.” It's easy to love when things are going well, but what is your response (mine) to pain, disappointment, to being manipulated, used, betrayed, despised, marginalized, hated? Life can be (is) tough, and the school of hard knocks knocks the stuffing out of you. It wasn't that long after this, before my mansion of love looked like a war zone! I came to realize how shallow my love was, how much of it was selfish, and dependent on getting it back from others. I will only love you if ....... God's love is unconditional and broken and wounded I needed to come to Him to fill up my “love deficit” as councilors are fond of saying when love runs out on us.

So I want to look briefly at the two aspects of the description of love in the title of this post. Firstly then the colour of our love towards others starting with “Love bears all things.” Jesus is our example here. The Message paraphrase of 1 Peter 2:23 reads “They called him every name in the book and he said nothing back. He suffered in silence, content to let God set things right.” Please do not misunderstand this, Jesus is no wimp! He was quick to take up the cause of injustice to others. He makes a whip of chords, overturns the tables of the money changes in the Temple. They were cheating the people, and He drove them out (John 2:15). On the other hand personal insults He bears without retaliation, putting His trust God because He knows that God works all things together for good to those who love Him (Romans 8:8). What is important to realize here is that our love is diminished when we hold grudges. Bitterness poisons not only us, but those we want to love. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:4,5). Love bears all things.

Next, love believes all things. Love is not quick to jump to conclusions about others, about their motives, about what they do and why they do them. Love is not quick to condemn, but will seek to understand where the other person is coming from. Love is quick to believe in others, knowing that believing in them can be the very hand up that they need to enable them to get out of the pit that they themselves or others have dug for them. Love is quick to forgive.

Love hopes all things. While love is not quick to believe the wrong about others, there does come a time when we need to face reality. To trust someone when they continue on an ongoing basis to prove conclusively by their actions and attitudes that they are not trustworthy, then we can no longer believe. But we can still hope. To continue to trust when the evidence points to an unwillingness on the part of the other person to change, to see where they are wrong, is not helpful to them. Love needs to say “no” at times. Sometimes love needs to oppose. But love does it for the right reasons, for their sake not for ours. But we can still hope, and we can still pray and we can still love. We need to be as wise as serpents and as harmless as doves.

Love endures all things. Love starts with bearing all things and ends with enduring all things. Well what is the difference? When we can no longer believe, when we can no longer hope, we can still bear all things, we can still endure. The difference is that love goes through the process and remains constant through it all. We can endure through gritted teeth because we have no choice. But to continue to love in spite of it all is a choice (at least it starts with a choice). We do have the choice to choose not to be quick to jump to conclusions, we do have the choice to give the benefit of the doubt and we do have the choice to hope and pray and trust God. And when we do this, when we submit to the character polishing that God intends though our obedience to His command to love our neighbour as ourselves, then we bring in the Kingdom. When we do this we please the only one who in the end counts, we please the Lord. But all this raises a huge questions. How on earth can we do this? Who can love their enemies, who ever did? Well Jesus did! As they drove cruel spikes through His hands and feet He prayed “Father forgive them, they do not know what they are doing (Luke 23:34). I want to be like Him, I am not, but I want to be.

There is a heresy that I hear Christians saying all the time. “Jesus could do this or that because He is God.” To say this is to deny that Jesus came in the flesh (1 John 4:2). Jesus did what He did on earth, as a man filled with the Spirit of God. If this was not so, then He could not be an example to imitate. We could admire Him, but we could not be expected to be like Him. On the other hand we cannot be expected to be like Him without the same Spirit that empowered Him as a man. This is why my saying that I did not need Him in order to love for Him was so very, very foolish. I need Him, and I need Him desperately, for this and many other things! With man it is impossible, with God all things are possible (Luke 18:27).

So how does it work, how do we tap into His love? This is the second aspect of what we see in the phrase “We love because He first loved us.” When we turn to the Lord we are included in the “we” of this verse. It has to start there, but it does not stop there. There is a principle behind all this, and it is that we are intended to draw the strength, the desire and the wherewithal to love, from our ongoing connection (relationship) with Him. When we are in right relationship with Him we are positioned to receive His love and to become a channel of it to this wicked and hurting world. And the more we allow His love to pour out through us, the more of it we get it ourselves. How else can we love our enemies? It is not natural. It is not intended to be, it is supernatural and powerful. He does all of the first part mentioned above, supremely. He bears, believes, hopes and endures and continues to pour out His love into our hearts (Romans 5:5). He forgives when we blow it, over and over and over. He endures and continues to believe in us. He hopes and instills hope in us, He bears all things, hopes all things endures and believes and hopes and endures. He believes in us when He tells us that we can do all things through Him (Philippians 4:13). When you do your part (and I mine) He “is all the while effectually at work in you energizing and creating in you the power and desire, both to will and to work for His good pleasure and satisfaction and delight (Philippians 2:13 AMP).

So do any of us do this perfectly? Of course not, for “in many things we all fail,” (James 3:2), and no more so than in our oh so finite love. What we need to do, what I need to do, is to cooperate with Him in giving Him place, a platform in our lives to experience His “Love poured out into our hearts (Romans 5:5 again).” There is so much in the World that chips away at our love, that we need (I need) that love to be daily replenished. God's love is a practical love, God's love is an enabling love, God's love is an empowering love. It is not an abstract thing, and it is not an automatic thing. We need (I need) to take time in His presence. The first commandment is to love Him with all that we are and have, and it is as we seek to obey Him that we open up ourselves for Him to pour His love into our hearts. I want more, I need more to continue to love in this wicked and hurting World that by and large only looks out for number one. I cannot love my enemies in my own strength, I cannot. I cannot do it without Him, but I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

If you want to pray: Father I know deep down that love is the answer, but without You I cannot love as You intend me to love. Even with You it is a struggle many times. It is only when I love You with all that I am and have, that I even begin to fully receive Your love. Please show me my part in getting rid of the things in my life that hinder Your love flowing in and through me. With You all things are possible. With Your help and strength I can do all things. With Your help I can get up when I fall. With Your help I can bring Glory to Your name, and I want to. I want to be like You. In Jesus name.

Truth, tradition and interpretation.

Most of us confuse truth with what the particular group we belong to, believes. We used to talk a lot about peer pressure, and I don't really know why we still don't, because it is everywhere. I see it in the University, I see it in the church, I see it in the social groups I interact with. I see it in me.

I have mentioned some of these things before, but in terms of academia I keep coming back to a book “The Structure of Scientific Revolutions” by Thomas S. Kuhn. Kuhn's basic point is that Scientists are subject to peer pressure just like the rest of us, and that progress in Science is often held up because of the influence of individuals or groups that hold onto theories and opinions long after the evidence points away from them. I blogged earlier that I am not invested in the truth or falsity of the theory of evolution (November 11th 2012). My point is that whatever is true in terms of development is a description of how God does or did things. So my faith is not threatened by the theory of evolution. Nevertheless the more I read, the more convinced I am that macro evolution is incorrect.

The word “evolution” is a useful word (though a red flag to many Christians). The dictionary defines it as any process of formation or growth or development. So for example we can speak of the evolution of the airplane. The idea of natural selection is also useful. I heard an opinion recently that suggests that there is a process of natural selection among biologists. The idea being that if you do not believe in the full fledged theory of evolution you are severely hampered in career and other advances in academia! I have no doubt that there is some truth in this. And of course this then skews the “Scientific” opinion on these matters. And it not just biology, it enters into the social Sciences as the pressure to conform to politically correct doctrines. Again as I have said elsewhere, most of the so called faith Science disputes have to do with interpretation of the facts, rather than the facts themselves.

And this happens within the Faith community too. The basic point here is that we are all people and we are all, at some point, biased. We are all influenced by our environment, culture upbringing and the strongly held opinions of those with whom we have to do. I regard myself as fortunate to have been associated with a (relatively) large cross section of Christian denominations and groups. I say fortunate because the interaction with sincere believers of various stripes has helped me to see both sides of numerous issues, that far too often have divided us. What I am saying is that the same problem that I have observed in academia seems to hold true among Christians. The biggest problem that I see is that we fail to distinguish between what the Bible says, and what our group/denomination/ friends think it says. In other words the biggest differences among those who hold a very high view of Scripture are matters of interpretation.

I have said this before too, but it bears repeating. There are two equal and opposite errors here. The first is to be ever learning and never arriving at the truth of the basics of the faith (2 Timothy 3:7). The basics are identified in Hebrews 6:1,2 as “repentance from dead works and of faith toward God, of the doctrine of baptisms, of laying on of hands, of resurrection of the dead, and of eternal judgment.” The other “ditch” we can fall into is thinking that we know it all, that we have arrived. Paul tells us that “if anyone thinks that he knows anything, he knows nothing yet as he ought to know” (1 Corinthians 8:2). And both sides can sling mud the one accusing the other of being wishy washy, the other accusing the other of giving pat and shallow answers to complex questions. Loving God with all of our minds surely involves separating the essentials from the inessentials. I do not need to separate myself from those who disagree on the thorny issue of whether Adam had a navel :-)!

Is it any coincidence that the good Lord gave us two ears and one mouth? I think not! You need a verse for this? Well okay “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19). All this speaks of humility, the very opposite of thinking we have arrived. The Word of God is so deep, we will spend eternity studying it and still not exhaust it. When we think we have arrived on every issue, we miss what God is doing in the wider body, and we miss what He wants to do in our lives. When differences bring us into anger, there is surely something wrong. If I have the truth why would I feel threatened by differences? As iron sharpens iron, so man sharpens man. We are meant to learn from each other, and there is so much more than any one of us, or any single group or denomination has. On top of this, if my view is correct, I will not win over the other party by getting angry! Getting angry over sincere differences is likely a sign that we should look more closely at the issue!

If you want to pray: Lord give me the grace, the love and the humility to be all that You call me to be. Help me to treat others as you would, help me to listen to others, especially those who are wrong :-)!

Walk, stand, sit! Not! Resolutions or revolutions?

If you do the 'read the Bible in a year' thing, you will likely have read Psalm 1 in the last couple of days. Verse 1 reads “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful;” It's all about not letting the World squeeze you into its mold, about being intentional about what we allow to influence us, about where we spend our time, what we think about, what stands we take, and what comes out of our mouths!

I have not always gone with New Year's resolutions (especially New years revolutions where I promise to change radically for the rest of my life!), but this year, I am aware that I need to change a number of things. In the last day's post I was talking about how easily we drift away, how easily we loose the reality of His presence. Perhaps you have never truly felt it, but most of us can look back on some experience of Him and wish it was like that again, wish that we could have more of the same.

God wants relationship with us. Jesus tells the Father in His high priestly prayer that the essence of eternal (abundant) life is knowing Him (John 17:3). I am probably not saying anything particularly deep when I say that relationships are hard. I have gone to a couple of extremes in trying to make them work for me. In particularly in the past there was too much fighting then, when that left me bleeding an wounded, I went to the other extreme and became a conflict avoider, seeking peace at any price. What I learned from the school of hard knocks in the latter attempt to make things work, is that you cannot make up for what the other person is not willing, or not able, to give to the relationship. God knew this before I did :-).

And He will not make up in His relationship with you or I what we are not willing (or able without His help) to give. Having said this, He is the one who spread wide His arms on the cross essentially saying to you and I and to the World “You will go to hell over my dead body.” He came to heal the broken hearted, He came to set us prisoners free (in particular from our addictions). He came to forgive and paid the price so that a Just and Holy God could welcome the broken, the hurting and the sinful into relationship with Himself. In other words, at incredible cost to Himself, He took the initiative in reaching out to each and every one of us. He pursues us too, but He will not force us. He loves us too much to force us out of the poor choices that we make on an ongoing basis! Our choices are powerful!

So what I am saying is that God is the initiator. He took the initiative in the costly business of making it possible for us to have relationship with Him in the first place, and He takes the initiative in perusing us. But He also waits for us to respond. It's a romance, a Divine romance. Is there anything so sad as unrequited love? He has poured out His love on us. God so loved the world He gave His one and only Son that whosoever turns to Him in trust and total surrender will not perish but will have abundant life in the here and now and life everlasting in the hereafter. So the questions is “What is my response, what is yours?”

Paul in the letter to the Romans (12:1ff) tells us that the only reasonable response to the tender mercies of God, is to present ourselves as living sacrifices, which is our spiritual worship. And when we do, He meets us where we are (as opposed to where we should be!). It is so easy to loose our zeal our passion for Him. When we do, we need to “buy gold from Him refined in the fire,” that we “may be rich...” (Rev. 3:18). Part of this “buying gold,” is to get rid of everything that hinders our relationship with Him. The second verse of the Romans 12 is important, it tells us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. Part of this is to disallow the things that hinder, that is the council and the influence of all that is ungodly. We live in a society that is fixated on pornography and materialism, that is consumed with business, with meaningless entertainment and the like. It not that all of these things are evil in and of themselves (though some of them are). But the real problem is that they crowd out and choke the life we have in God. They leave no room for Him or His Word, for true fellowship with Him and each other.

The Christian life is not primarily about not doing the things that hinder, it is not about rules or regulations, it is about keeping my primary focus on Him. It is about nurturing my relationship with Him. So I need to spend more, and more quality time with Him. I need to hear His voice, I need to feel His presence, I need a practical revelation of how much He loves me. I need His help, His strength, His wisdom and His grace. When we do our part He works in us to do what we cannot do without Him. And then He is the one who brings real change, real revolution. So the good news is that it is not all up to me.

If you want to pray: Father it's not about me, it's about You. Please give me what I need to follow hard after You. Give me what I do not have, so cannot give, in this regard. Fascinate me with Yourself and continue to draw me and bring me into Your presence. Let me find my rest and peace and joy and hope and strength in You. Show me my part in all this, and then help me to play it. In Jesus name Amen.