Count it all joy when you fall into various trials.

This admonition from James chapter one can seem out of sight or even ridiculous when you first read it. But it makes sense in a common sense sort of way. I mean we have all heard of the power of positive thinking, and life certainly seems to go better for those with a positive attitude. On the other hand this is very hard for those of us who have been deeply wounded by life. And putting this advice into practice can be more of a journey than something we just do and get on with.

Clearly the inner wounds that some have sustained in life are much much greater than those of others. Those who come from a stable, loving and affirming home are streets ahead of those who do not. Not that the pain is in any way comparable, but lack of nurture can be as just debilitating as abuse. But in either case there is much that others have done or not done, that helps us explain to ourselves where we are at, and why this admonition from James can seem so out of reach.

When we were children we had no defence for what came down on us, but when we are adults we do not need to let the past be our future. As adults we need to understand that our response to the wrong done to us, can be just as big a factor in keeping us stuck as the wrong done itself. So long as we do nothing but blame others for the state of our emotional health we will not heal. What I am saying, and I do not claim this is easy, is that we need to take responsibility for our responses to the wrong done. If we let Him, and if we fully cooperate with Him, God will help us to come out from under it all. There is much truth in the saying without God man cannot, without man God will not. It is only under full radical surrender that we can prove the good and perfect and acceptable will of God (Romans 12:1,2). In the words of AA “half measures profited us nothing.” Even then it is a process, not an instant over night fix. We may have to suffer more until we are ready to take the radical step. “Are we there yet mummy?”