Intimacy with God (IX) limp lovers, or passionate lovers

I was an innocent 14-year-old, and my fantasies at that age were also innocent. In the era of swashbuckling movies, I would dream of a gorgeous belly dancer feeding me grapes with me lying back on the couch, and my saying to her “You may proceed,” expecting her to smother me with kisses, as I just simply lie there. As I matured I came to realize that that would have been no fun at all for her, rather like kissing a wet sponge! Though this would not have been unrequited love, I would have been what I now think of as being a limp lover. We are commanded to love the Lord our God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength (Mark 12:30). In terms of this morning’s post, we are not to be limp lovers of God.

It seems to me that our capacity to love is very dependent upon our history. I’m not saying that I did this perfectly by any stretch of the imagination, but I regard it as the father’s job to love our daughters into life. Most parents do the very, very best with what they were handed. We likely cannot give more than what we receive. The Scriptures say “We love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19 NIV). When we are vitally connected to Him, then our capacity to love is far, far greater, because we then become channels of His love. When we are disconnected from Him, from the very source of love (1 John 4:8), then our capacity to love is diminished. What I am saying, is that all of us at some level, have all been disconnected from the source, and that this has impaired our ability to love others and of course Him.

So what I am saying here, is that many times our love is weak. But even though it is weak, when we love Him with all that we are capable of, then He is greatly pleased. I think of this in terms of what delighted me recently. I was at lunch with my daughter and two granddaughters. The five-year-old, spontaneously looked over at me and said “I love you grandpa!” Do you think my response was “You are only five years old, you don’t even know what love is!” No, no, no it touched my heart, it touched my heart deeply.

Father, I like what Mike Bickle prays, he prays "I am loved, and I love You. Even though my love is weak, it is my position and desire to be a lover of You. Therefore my life is a success.” And Lord, just as I delight in my granddaughters five-year-old love, You too are delighted when we give You our all, even though it might be a lot less than what we would like to give You. It is a processes, and just as my granddaughters love will mature, so too as we continue to love You will our love mature. And as we continue to love You, intimacy with You will deepen too. I do love You Lord in Jesus Name Amen

Intimacy with God (VIII) Called up, not out

In our earthly relationships, if we do ten things right and one thing wrong, likely the thing that will be remembered, is the wrong. In our relationship with God, if we do one thing right, and ten things wrong then, provided we confess, what He will remember, is the one thing we did right. We know this from His Word, for He has told us that He will not, He chooses not, to remember our sins and inequities (1 John 1:9; Hebrews 8:12).

He not only remembers the good, He sees the good we are capable of, even when we don’t see it. He believes in us, even when we do not believe in ourselves. We see this clearly in the story of Gideon. Gideon had been threshing wheat in the winepress hiding from fear of the Midianites. You cannot thrash wheat in the winepress, you need the wind to take the chaff away. Gideon was afraid, but the angel of the Lord came and addressed him “Hail mighty warrior.” The Lord saw what Gideon could not see, and that was that he was indeed a mighty warrior. But because God saw him this way, and what God sees is true, then Gideon began to see himself as God saw him, and he rose to the occasion (Judges 6, 7).

The Lord has promised to supply all of our needs according to his riches in glory (Philippians 4:19). And when our need is for a coach, He will coach us. As with Gideon, He comes alongside and tells us “I am with you, you can do this!” In other words He calls us up to all we can be, rather than calling us out. One of the many ways that He does this, is that He calls us saints (i. e. Ephesians 1:1). Some versions correctly translate “saints,” as “holy ones.” So in calling us “holy ones,” He is calling us up to live holy and blameless lives. We cannot do this without Him, but when we surrender to Him, He gives us the wherewithal (grace) to do what without Him we cannot do (Romans 5:2). He then turns round and rewards us for doing it! And in the process of doing of all this, He forges an ever deeper intimate bond with us.

Father, there really is no one like You. My heart is full this morning Lord, as I think about all You have done, all that You do, and all that I know You will do. Words cannot express the depth of my peace as I come to You morning by morning. And I know that You have not finished with me yet! I know that You will keep right on helping me to grow in You, and to grow closer to You (Philippians 1:6). And I thank and praise You again this morning Lord, in Jesus Name Amen

Intimacy with God (VII) The importance of knowing me

I have come to realize, that I cannot grow in intimacy with God without growing in knowledge of myself. I don’t pretend to fully understand this, but I am convinced it is true. I spoke the other day of the lady who told me she had not realized how selfish she was until she got married. What was happening was that the interactions between her and her husband were bringing things to the light that were previously hidden to her. When things are brought to the light I can either blame others or even God (Genesis 3:12), or I can accept responsibility for my part in what goes wrong. This lady was accepting responsibility, one of the essential building blocks of intimacy.

There are at least three views of my character and yours, the view we present to the world, the view we have of ourselves, and the true view that God has. And they are likely all different. Which on of us had not exaggerated the good and de-emphasized the ugly? Certainly not me! Our hearts are deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9) and the unregenerate parts of the hearts hide from the light (John 3:20, 21). There was a reason Adam an Eve covered themselves with with fig leaves! After the fall they were not safe. Just look at how Adam blamed Eve (Genesis 3:12 again).

What I want to say about all this today, is that God is a safe place. He is safe because His love is unconditional. When, through the new birth we become His children, then He deals with us as a loving and wise father deals with His child. He may of course discipline us for our good (Hebrews 12:10). But there is now no condemnation (Romans 8:1), and it is safe enough to take off the masks we wear in order to hide even from ourselves. In the embrace of His extravagant healing love, we can start to be real and realistic. Being sure of His forgiveness (1 John 1:9), we can admit our faults, and in doing so bring the three views mentioned above closer to each other, and ourselves closer to God. As I have said before, we even get to like ourselves.

Father, it is such a relief to know that I do not have to have it all together in order to be close to You. You have told us that if we draw near to You, You will draw near to us (James 4:8). And as a little boy with a great big Daddy, I can be free to enjoy life and have peace even in the midst of the chaos. I do need to say close, and I ask You this morning to help me to deal Your way, with anything that might hinder. In Jesus Name Amen

Intimacy with God (VI) Wrestling with God

At the moment of crisis, when Jacob believed that his brother was coming against him with four hundred armed men likely, to Jacob’s mind, for revenge, we read that he wrestled with a man until the breaking of day. When he is told “Let me go for the day breaks,” Jacob’s response is “I will not let you go until you bless me.” Jacob was changed by this incident, his name is even changed to Israel which means "(he who) struggles with God” (Genesis 32:24-28). Because of the new name, some believe that the man (or angel) is a pre-incarnation of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Coming back to the analogy of intimacy in marriage, in order to come into true intimacy of body, soul and spirit, we need to come to the place where stop blaming each other, where we honour one another and trust one another enough, to allow both to share how we are wounded, and how we wound each other in the relationship. And we need to be able to do this without fear of reprisal or punishment. We will likely not come to this place without a lot of humility and a lot of struggle. Sadly very few seem to arrive there! It is God’s greatest desire that we enter into this level of intimacy with Him, but again we will not likely get there either without a lot of humility and struggle. And obviously there is no fault with Him!

And as with Jacob, God will if we let Him, use the crises and the struggles to change us. And also as with Jacob, when we stick with it, when in the midst of the trial we cry out and groan and travail in the Spirit (Romans 8:20-23) calling out in essence “I will not let you go until you bless me,” then we too are changed and come into the same intimacy as did Jacob. Indeed this is one of the ways that God uses the struggle to work all things for our good (Romans 8:28)! It is worth it all, it is worth it all!

Father, You told us to pray “Do not bring us to the time of trial.” Most of us Lord want to avoid these things like the plague. But Father when we are there, please give us the wherewithal to push through. Lord we cannot grow without the trials. The sailors of old did not learn to sail in the calm, they learned the most in the gales. So it is with us Lord. And I want to thank You today that You are a very present help in time of need (Psalm 46:1), and that You will never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). In Jesus Name Amen

Intimacy with God (V) Some ways of God

The possibility of entering into a deep intimacy with God begins by becoming as a little child (Matthew 18:3), being born again (John 3:3) and thus becoming His child (John 1:12). In the natural, the development of the relationship between parent and child depends both on how the parent, parents the child, and on how the child responds. As earthly parents we can sometimes give in to temper tantrums and manipulation. This is very bad for the child, since in effect, it teaches the child that temper tantrums and manipulation pay off. I want to suggest that we have all learned, one way or the other, to play similarly destructive "games". And after a while we likely do not even know we are playing them. They become part of us! And they negatively affect all our relationships, including our relationship with God!

In a previous post I suggested that He will never, never manipulate or control us, but neither will He allow us to manipulate or control Him. Neither will He play any of the other such negative games we may have learned to play. It is well known that we tend to project our faults onto others (Romans 2:1). In particular since we are talking about manipulation, if you or I are manipulative, we are likely to accuse others of being manipulative, when our manipulation is not working. What I am saying, is that many of the games we have learned to play and likely don’t even know we are playing, these games seriously hinder our entering into an intimate relationship not only with each other, but also with God!

It seems to me, that marriage is one of God’s primary tools to make us more like Christ. Someone I know and respect told me one time “I did not realize how selfish I am until I got married.” The scripture “As iron sharpens iron, so man sharpens man” (Proverbs 27:17) comes to mind again. But what I want to say here, is that the same sort of thing that He wants us to learn about ourselves (good and bad) in and through our earthly relationships, these lessons are applicable to our relationship with Him, and in our drawing close to Him.

Father, part of the what You are doing in working all things for our good, is making us more like Christ, and in the process drawing us ever closer to You (Romans 8:28, 29). You are a good, good Father and You know how to father us perfectly. I choose to trust You Lord this morning that You are using all that You do, and all that You allow as vehicles to draw me more and more into the treasure of intimacy with You, in Jesus Name Amen

Intimacy with God (IV) The dance

There is a sense in which intimacy with God and is exactly the same as intimacy with each other, and a sense in which it is not. It is different, because we know God is perfect and our earth earthly partners are not. But it’s the same, at least from our point of view, because there are bound to be misunderstandings. And at such times the temptation to not be real with God (and often with each other) is huge. It may sound silly, but we may have to forgive God. I can hear you protesting “But He never does anything wrong, He is God!” True enough, but it does not always feel like that!

There have been many times when in my mind’s eye, I have been in His embrace with His arms round me, and me pounding on His chest in frustration and even anger. He has made promises that He has not yet fulfilled. And yes it’s not over yet, but the delay is often painful as I need to keep my heart open, and you can get hurt again after, and hurt again after, and hurt again after! As an English lady friend of mine said one time “The trouble with God is that He has no sense of time!” On top of this, since our knowledge of God is not perfect, there are also bound to be misunderstandings. We have this tendency to project onto the Lord things that are simply not true. For example I knew that my father loved me, but in his workaholism (his way of coping with his issues) it was from a distance. He had so little time for me. And for the longest time, this is how I felt about God, He loved me from a distance. But it was a lie, He is a very present God (Psalm 46:1)!

In earthly relationships when we get hurt, we need to come apart for a while, to give each other space. But when we love each other, we do need to come back together, to sort out our misunderstandings, and to forgive and receive forgiveness. The scripture puts it this way, there is a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing (Ecclesiastes 3:5). It is like a dance where we come together, move apart and then come back together again. While we are apart absence makes the heart grow fonder, and when we come back together the joy of reconciliation can and will, if we let it, take us deeper and deeper into an intimacy where there is openness and honesty and honour. It takes two, it takes trust, it takes a willingness to wrestle through the misunderstandings and the inherent selfishness. It takes love. And in our earthy relationships, the Christian has the advantage, since he or she can tap into the very Source of love (1 John 4:8).

Father, I know that You would rather that we came to You with railing accusations, than that we stay away, isolating ourselves from You. Thank You Lord that You are big enough to deal with my outbursts (Psalm 142:2). I cannot have an intimate relationship with You if I am not real with You. And I cannot be real if I deny or suppress what I am feeling. I have the sense Lord that when I have come to You and we have sorted it out, that You are far more thrilled with the reconciliation that I could ever be! I love You this morning Lord, and though my love is weak compared to Yours, it is what it is, and I know it pleases You. I bless You this morning Lord in Jesus Name Amen

Intimacy with God (III) Unrequited love

One of the pictures the Bible paints of our relationship with God, is the marriage relationship. For example, the husband is to love the wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25, see also verses 31, 32). It is my observation however, that in human romantic relationships, the one who loves the most has the least power. It also seems to me that in that situation the temptation to manipulation and control by the one with the most power is great, and that when that temptation is not resisted, it too easily leads to a radical disrespect of the other partner. It is therefore something of a paradox in my mind, that in our relationship with God, the one who has all power and authority is the also the one who loves the most (i.e John 3:16).

And this One with all power and authority, though He commands, nevertheless gives us complete freedom to obey or not. And He will never, never, never, manipulate or control, and even when we fail, He always treats us with honour and respect (i.e. John 8:1-11)! We do need to understand that when He commands a thing, or forbids a thing, He does it for our provision and protection. As a wise and loving Father He indeed knows what is best for us. And He has neither hidden agenda nor nefarious purpose! So when He commands us to love Him with all our heart, mind soul and strength (Mark 12:30), He has our very best interests at heart. In particular, when we love Him first, and put Him first in all things, then His love is able to pour out through us in a way we could not love others without Him!

What shall we say to these things? Those of us who have experienced unrequited love (a love that is only one way), or a love that is imbalanced as mentioned above, we know both the pain and the longing for intimacy. And if we are to have deep intimacy with the Lord, and access to the fullness of His extravagant healing love, then surly we can understand that anything less that our absolute all, will simply not cut it. And this is why the commands can seem so demanding. “Unless you take up your cross daily and follow me, you cannot be my disciple” (Luke 9:23). We need to understand that when we do not give our all, we are in fact cheating ourselves.

Father, to my mind Paul says it well when he pleads “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service” (Romans 12:1 NKJV). The word translated “reasonable” here, is the word from which we get our word “logical.” Indeed Lord the only logical response to all that You have done is to seek to love You with all that I am and have. I need You to help me in this Lord, for many times the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Thank You Lord that You are indeed able to keep that which I have committed to You against that day (2 Timothy 1:2) in Jesus Name Amen