The sufferings of Job can teach us something along the same lines. He probably suffered more than any of us do/have/will, and yet at the end of it all when he is no longer fighting God he declares “My ears had heard of you, but now my eyes have seen you” (Job 42:5). It was the eyes of his heart he was talking about, it was the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him (Ephesians 1:17,18). This knowledge is not intellectual knowledge, it is the intimate mother love of the baby on the breast. It is the mother heart of God experienced. It is the feeling of security, the feeling that in spite of it all, it's going to be alright, that I can get through this because I am loved and accepted and comforted and healed. It is knowing that somehow God is in control. It is the surrender of Peter when asked if he was offended “Where shall I go Lord, You have the words of eternal life?” (John 6:68).
I came to see this in a new way recently when I learned that someone I love and respect had suffered a devastating blow in her personal life. It is far too easy to give theologically correct answers to the problem of suffering when you are far removed from the situation, but mere logic will not satisfy. We cry out “Why?” and “Why me?” And even if we do not acknowledge it we are crying out to God. I have this picture of me and Him, He with His arms around me, and me pummelling His chest with my fists in frustration and pain. Finally I surrender sobbing. I have entered the sanctuary, and His mercy and grace and peace overtake me and I am comforted.
Paul prays for the Ephesians that they would know the the width and length and depth and heigh of the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge (Ephesians 3:18,19). It makes no sense in logic. How can you know something that surpasses knowledge? What I do know is that when I am real with Him, He is real with me. He meets me where I am “at,” even when where I am at may not be where I should be. My intellectual understanding is limited, but I know when I am loved, and I know the love of Christ is real. I have experience the truth of the Scripture which says “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you” (James 4:8).
If you want to pray: God, I need you, please meet me where I am and draw me deeper into your unfathomable love. Heal me and I will be healed. In Jesus name, Amen.