Big boys don't cry! Really?

The stereotype image of the male is that of the macho man. He can handle anything that comes his way, especially if you are English “stiff upper lip and all that!” The expression is defined by saying that the one who has a stiff upper lip displays fortitude in the face of adversity, or exercises great self-restraint in the expression of emotion. The image is that of the upper lip that starts to tremble as the person seeks to hold back the tears. We can put it this way, the macho man can handle anything but emotion!

So are tears a sign of weakness or of strength? The stuffing of emotions is in fact destructive. Owning our emotions and dealing with them is wholesome and life giving. So how do we deal with them? King David knew how, he “poured out his complaint unto the Lord,” the apostle Paul's prayers were accompanied by “may tears.” If as we read in Ecclesiastes, it is true that with increased knowledge comes increased grief, then it is only appropriate that we weep, as Jesus did, over the state of the World and over those we love who are perishing. It takes courage to allow ourselves to feel our feelings, and if we do allow ourselves to feel our feelings, there will be times when we laugh and times when we cry. There will be times we do not know which to do.

For me there is comfort in the fact that God sees our tears and our joy. He keep our tears “in a bottle.” He is not unmoved by our pain. So do big boys cry? Well I do, and I am not ashamed of my tears, they cleans and they heal. And actually there is not one of us who is not in need of healing! Jesus told us that He came to heal the broken hearted, and the way He seems to do that is to open up the wounds so that He may cauterize them. If this seems to be further wounding, we need to fall back on the saying “faithful are the wounds of a friend.” And there is no greater friend than Jesus!