Your desire shall be for your husband

And he shall rule over you” (Genesis 3:16b). To say in another way what we said in the last mediation, the statement “he shall rule over you” would be the reality in a fallen world where the yeast of the Kingdom had yet to permeate (Matthew 13:33). Man dominating woman is not part of God's plan to bring the rule of God to earth as it was in paradise (Matthew 6:10). In paradise Adam and Eve ruled together over creation, not over each other. But what are we to make of “Your desire shall be for your husband?”

The commentators do not agree on what this means. Part of the confusion is that the Hebrew word translated here as “desire,” occurs only in two other places, and does so with different meanings. The first is Genesis 4:7 which reads “if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.” God was warning Cain that his anger was wanting to control him. If this is the sense of the word here in Genesis 3:16, it means that Eve's desire would be to control Adam, but in stead he would rule over her.

The only other occurrence of the word is in Songs 7:10 where comes in the context of the honeymoon stage of King Solomon's love for the Shulamite. It reads “I belong to my lover, and his desire is for me.” This is not just sexual intimacy however, though it certainly includes it. In fact Songs is quite raunchy at times, even instructing us on foreplay (2:6)! It is significant however, that the very next verse admonishes “Do not stir up nor awaken love, until the time is right” (Berean Study Bible). The point is that sex engaged in too soon can sabotage a relationship. In particular, as we were saying in earlier if the time is not right (i.e. in marriage) then the friendship love (phileo), is stunted by sexual love (eros). And is is here that the two meanings of the Hebrew come together. True intimacy is nurtured over time, and within the pseudo hyper sexual love that so dominates the West true intimacy (body, soul and spirit), it is largely absent. In the Jewish context, the (at least) year long betrothal with abstinence, had the benefit of increasing longing resulting in true intimacy. And to do this, while at same time, taming the beast of lust without which, it inevitably eclipses the deeper intimacy.

Emotions, longing and desire, in and of themselves, are neutral. They become sinful however when, for example, we allow anger to turn to rage, and attraction to lust. As with Cain we must master them. Brain research has show that emotions and thoughts come together as a package, and that every thought has an emotion attached to it. When we obsess it amplifies the emotion. So then in order to take control of our emotions, we need to take our thoughts captive unto obedience to the Lord (2 Corinthians 10:5).

Father, emotions out of control do not bring the Kingdom. Paul tells that those who are Christ’s have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires (Galatians 5:24). When we do our part in, by the Spirit, putting to death the deeds and desires of the sinful nature (Romans 8:13), You do yours! You even change our desires (Philippians 2:12, 13). For these and many other things we give You thanks and praise in Jesus Name Amen