If you want to be first, you must be last and servant of all

The disciples had been arguing on the way who was the greatest, and when Jesus asked them what they were talking about, they were too ashamed to say anything. Knowing what it was, Jesus told them “If you want to be first, then you have to be last and servant of all.”

The upside down kingdom: The world will tell you you have to look after number one, if you want to get ahead, you need to trample on those under you. And it’s seductive, even if we don't act it out, we are likely thinking it! How often have I said or done something to impress? But it's not the way of the kingdom, and we have our reward or not! What I mean is the other person is likely trying to do the same thing, so the whole thing gets lost in the ether. It's noting but vanity! It doesn’t lead to peace, hope and joy, it has no eternal value, and in the end it leaves you empty and unsatisfied.

What struck me this morning as I read this passage from Mark 9, is the gentle and humble way that Jesus responded to his disciples. There is no self exaltation in his answer, there is no condemnation. There is correction, but there is no condemnation. What a contrast! The more I see and understand about Jesus, the more I want to be like Him. They say that we become like what we worship, so I choose to worship Jesus.

Father, thank You that as I come to You morning by morning, You sometimes (but thankfully not always) gently, lovingly but firmly put your finger on things in my life that displease You. Thank You that Your gentle and loving ways make me want to change and to be like You. Thank you for the truth, that as I worship you I become more like you. This is my greatest desire. In Jesus name Amen

Whoever is ashamed of me (Jesus) … I will be ashamed of him day on that day

Jesus showed up mightily last night in a local meeting here in St. John’s. There were many, many healings, the most spectacular being a lady who had had fibromyalgia for 27 years with chronic pain and chronic fatigue. So why should I be ashamed, when He brings such life to me and others? Well there are certainly times when I should have spoken up and I didn’t, probably because I didn’t know what to say at the time, or perhaps I was afraid of the conflict.

In this paraphrase from Mark 8, Jesus tells us that if we want to go after Him, we need to deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow Him. And He further tells us, as in the title of this post, that if we are ashamed of Him in this adulterous and sinful generation, then He will be ashamed of us on that day. It’s quite a challenge!

In the West, the tyranny of political correctness is surely designed to intimidate and to shout us down. It's also difficult to know what to say. We need to know when to speak, and when to be silent. And when it’s time to speak we need to know what to say. Part of our job is to always be ready to give an answer of the hope that with us within us with meekness and with fear. The fear part here, has to do with not being judgemental, and not being reactive. In all of our relationships we need to be looking for the treasure in the other person, not the trash. Anyone can find the trash. We need help, many times, to see the treasure. It is always there, because each and every one of us is made in the image of God. We are fallen of course, so we are all a mixture of treasure and of trash!

Part of the reason for the strong opposition to the gospel and to Christian values, is that people are defensive. We know deep down when we are doing wrong, but most of us don’t want to admit it. My example, the one that I look to again and again, is of Jesus dealing with the woman caught in adultery in John 8. They had been trying to trap him into saying that she should be stoned. Jesus told them that the one without sin should cast the first stone, and convicted of their own sin, they left from the eldest to the youngest. Finally she was left alone with Jesus. “Where are those who would condemn you? He asked. “There are none Lord” she replied. “Neither do I condemn you” was Jesus response “go and sin no more!”

Jesus did not condemn, but neither did he condone. We need to do that, and do it with the same love, grace and understanding that Jesus showed.

Father, give me the serenity to keep my mouth shut when I’m not supposed to speak. Please give me the courage and the wisdom to speak when I should, and also the wisdom to know when I should do the one, or the other. In Jesus name amen

When my father and my mother forsake me, the LORD will take care of me

Probably most of us have experienced abandonment and rejection at some point in time. And it’s no fun! Having been divorced twice, in spite of every attempt to prevent it, I know something of these feelings. In John chapter 14 Jesus tells his disciples, and us through them, that he will not leave us orphaned. Though I was not an orphan, I have come to recognize that I had an orphan spirit.

In this Psalm, David tells us the cure for this. No doubt he, like myself, learned this the hard way. I was already a Christian at the time of my second divorce, and I did have a relationship with the Lord, but I was still very dependent on my earthly relationships, and no less than the first divorce, I was devastated by the second.

After a couple of years, when it became clear that any reconciliation was not going to happen anytime soon, I fell back into my pre-Christian addictions. Anything to dull the pain! But it didn't work, in fact it got worse, compounded by guilt and shame. I was trying to fill the gaping hole in my heart that only He can fill. All the time he was reaching out to me, inviting me into his embrace, waiting to be gracious to me (Isaiah 30:18). Eventually He got through to me.

There is a saying that I really relate to very well at this point in time, it is that you don’t know that God is all you need, until God is all you have.

And I see many around me struggling with the very same thing that I struggled with. And I know that the solution that I found, or rather that he gave to me, is the solution that they need. But it seems that we have to come to the end of ourselves, that we have to come to the point of desperation before we are truly willing to surrender everything to him.

I would never have chosen this path to finding a deeper relationship with him, but I cannot regret it. In the end I found that not only did he suffer for me, but that he suffers with me, and uses that suffering to bring me into freedom, peace, hope and joy in relationship with him.

Father, for those who are struggling and reading this post, I ask you to continue to reach out to them, and to give them the grace that they need to cast everything on you. Bring them through the loneliness, emptiness and the pain and give them the true comfort that only you can give. In Jesus name

All things are possible for those who believe

The story is told of a little old lady who lived at the base of a mountain. She had heard that if she believed she could tell the mountain to be uprooted and thrown into the sea. So she mustered all the faith she could, and commanded the mountain to do just that. The next morning she looked out of the window to see that the mountain was still there. “I knew it wouldn’t move,” she said.

Between this story, and the story of the little boy who defined faith as believing what you know is not true, there is true faith. The writer to the Hebrews defines faith as the the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen. Jesus is our example of someone who had true faith. He tells us that he does only those things which he sees His Father do (John 5:19). What He is saying is that true faith has to do with receiving some sort of download from the Father, and then acting on that download.

My recent experience of believing that the less invasive procedure for filling the hole in my granddaughter’s heart comes to mind. It was something that I had prayed for. Looking back I can see that the Lord had actually put a check in my spirit when I learned what the doctors were suggesting a less invasive procedure which ultimately did not work. With 20/20 hindsight I am feeling that was a gentle nudge telling me that this was too easy. So I am thinking that the problem was that I really wanted to believe that this was of the Lord, and my desire for it to be true, took over. I suspect that this happens a lot, and is a huge source of (inappropriate) disappointment with God.

So, at least for me, all the confusion, all the wrestling, all the self talk of my telling myself I don’t understand, sprung from hearing what I wanted to hear, rather than what I now believe the Lord was trying to tell me.

Some no doubt, will regard what I have just said as a cop out, a way of excusing God for not answering my prayer. But for me, it’s a deeper lesson in discerning and praying “thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.” In the end it’s all about our relationship with Him, about learning to hear His voice, and learning to discern it from my own, and from the fellow with pitchfork’s voice.

Father, the propensity to fool ourselves is huge. Please keep me close and help me to discern your voice from the other voices that would seek to distract me from my walk with you. In Jesus name amen

I believe, help my unbelief

The Lord brought this verse to my mind this morning, as we wait to hear what will happen about my granddaughter's heart surgery. The context of this verse from Mark 9:24, is of a father having brought his son to Jesus. The problem was that the son often threw himself into the fire or into water, and the disciples had been unable to help.

The father’s faith was small. “If you can do anything for us, have compassion on us,” he had said it to the Lord. The Lord had replied “All things are possible to he who believes,” and the phrase at the title of this post was the father’s reply. It’s interesting to me to note the Scripture says that the father’s response was “with tears.” Scriptures like this help me to know that He knows what we are going through, and that He goes through it with us.

Most of us who have children, would gladly take the child’s place when they are ill. We had hoped that a less invasive procedure they had suggested would have worked. I had felt sure this was an answer to our prayers from the Lord. But it was not to be, the less invasive procedure did not work. At times like this, as we wait, there is confusion, tears and anguish. The Lord had told me two days ago again this morning “you do not know what I am doing now, but you will know.”

I am very aware at times like this, I need to choose to trust, and the relevance and beauty of stories like this help me greatly.

Father, I believe, help my unbelief, in Jesus name amen

If, by the Spirit, you put to death the deeds of the flesh, you will live

There is a saying that we sin because we are sinners, rather than we are sinners because we sin. The saying is trying to point out that it is in our nature to sin, or to put it another way the default is to go wrong. Which one of us has never told a lie? I am not a habitual liar, but they have been times when what came out of my mouth was not true. I don’t even know where it came from, and the times I am thinking about there was no advantage to my not telling the truth! I have to admit that there have been times when I was too embarrassed to correct such terminological inexactitude :-).

It’s hard to admit it when we are wrong, and this too is part of our fallen nature. On top of this we have this propensity to blame others when things go wrong, or at the very least to minimize our own faults while maximizing the other person’s. The Scripture calls this living according to the flesh, or in some versions according to the sinful nature. In the first part of the verse at the head of this post (Romans 8:13), Paul tells us that if we do this we will die, but it by the spirit put to death the deeds of the flesh we will live.

We cannot all live the Christian life without him, and we cannot put to death the deeds of the flesh without his help. The picture I have of this is the game of whack a mole, where you hit one mole over the head, and immediately another mole pops up elsewhere. In my own life, until I had learned by the Spirit to put to death such deeds, I essentially went through a series of rotating addictions, changing my behaviour in this area, but another addiction appearing in another. And it was a kind of death! It was certainly not the abundant life that Jesus promises (John 10:10b).

It starts with admitting that we cannot do it without Him. He has promised that if we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). In James 5:16 we are told that we need to confess our faults one to another so that we may be healed. It’s quite humbling to have to confess our sins to another person, but as the verse promises it is only here that we are healed. Of course we need to find someone who is safe, and we may need to ask the Lord to help us find such a person/fellowship. So we confess to God to be forgiven, and we confess to each other to be healed.

Father, I need your help! Holy Spirit I surrender to you, please show me my part in putting to death the deeds of the flesh, because then I know that you will do your part, and I will be free. In Jesus name Amen

Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?

The disciples, probably Peter, were panicking. They were in the midst of a storm on the Sea of Galilee that was threatening to sink the boat, and Jesus was asleep on a cushion in the rear. So they wake him, and ask him the question at the head of this post (Mark 4:38).

This morning, I was practicing the “picture it method” of meditation on the Word. I was imagining that I was Peter in a panic and confronting Jesus with this question. In my imagination I received a look from Jesus that pierced my heart. In the story, Jesus calms the storm, and asks the disciples why they are so afraid, and why they have no faith.

It was a relevant question! After all that they had seen of the miraculous power of Jesus, how could they doubt that He would not look after them and deal with the situation, even if He were asleep.

It’s hard for me to describe exactly what I felt when, in my imagination, I received the piercing look from Jesus. It was certainly a rebuke, but it wasn’t condemnation. Over the past 20 years or so I have seen many more miracles than I can remember, and some of them have been spectacular. And yet I continue to panic, or perhaps overreact is a better description, at the happenstances of life.

How about you? Have you often thought that Jesus was asleep in the midst of your trial and temptation? Have you, like Peter, accused the Lord of not caring? We (and I certainly include myself) demonstrate a lack of faith in such circumstances. And we need to repent!

Father, I repent of my unbelief, I choose to trust you in all circumstances, and I ask you to help me to pause for those crucial seconds before I overreact. I give all fear and anxiety to you, and I received your peace, the peace that passes all understanding, that lifts me above my circumstances. In Jesus name amen