Repentance requires greater intimacy with God than with our sin

It is a quotation from Rosaria Champagne Butterfield a former lesbian convert to Christ, who considers herself healed. But what does she mean?

Christianity is not primarily about rules and regulations, though they do play a part. Christianity is first and foremost about relationship with God. Jesus himself said as much in His high priestly prayer to the Father where He said “this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.” There is a reality about relationship. You cannot have a relationship with something or someone who does not exist, but those of us who have known true intimacy know it's reality, be it an earthly or Heavenly relationship. The problem though is that our passions get in the way, at least mine do, and I think Rosaria's too.

Passions are a lot like appetites. Those of us who gain weight by even looking at deserts know full well that left to our own devices we would soon become as big as a house. What seems to happen is that the more we indulge, the grater our capacity to indulge. I am told that when we eat a lot, our stomachs stretch, and that creates greater hunger pangs. Part of what we need to do when trying to loose weight is to starve ourselves a little so that our stomachs (and hence our appetites) shrink.

I have experienced the same thing with desires that lead me away from God. The more I feed the desire either by indulging it, or by fantasizing, the further away from God that I feel, and the less real my relationship (with God) feels. In order to get back to the intimacy with Him, I need to starve my inapropriate passions. I need His help for this, and it is help He freely gives when we ask. The point is that I seem to be a leaky vessel (for the Holy Spirit). But I miss Him when I am not close, and I need to exercise discipline to return (repent). I think this is at least part of what Rosaria is saying!

Is there a heaven and a hell?

I was in jail (no not as an inmate, they didn't catch me yet :) ) when the above question came up. I was there as part of an alpha team and we were having this discussion with the “guests” (captive audience :) ). It's not a question we talk a lot about on the outside, but prison (and the hard knocks of life) have a way of focusing the mind. My response was that if God exists and He is just, there has to be a heaven and a hell. I mean death is not good enough for the likes of Hitler, Bashar Al-Assad and a lot more (probably including myself!).

Someone voiced the opinion that Heaven and hell are here on earth. It seems to me that there is something in this, I mean if we remove all the bad out of life, it gives us a glimpse (probably a poor one) of what heaven is like, and if we remove all the good out of life we likely have a glimpse of hell. These can be uncomfortable thoughts, but for me there is comfort in the gospel which tells us that if we admit that we are wrong (easier to do in the pen) and turn our lives over to Him, there is forgiveness and provision for life in all its fullness in the here and now, and even fuller in the hereafter.

Can questions be wrong?

During my daily readings today, I came across a question by the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection (that is why they were sad-u-c :) sorry I can resist anything by temptation). The question boiled down to asking in the resurrection whose wife would a woman widowed and remarried be. Jesus answers “Do you not greatly err because you do know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God?” Jesus is essentially saying “Your question is wrong.” When questions are wrong, it is usually because of ignorance or because they cloak a hidden assumption. “Have you stopped beating your wife yet?” is a much a statement as it is a question. It's hard to answer that one well, no matter what I say I condemn myself!

I find this a lot in discussing God. “Can you prove to me that God exists?” If I say “no,” I am dismissed because most of our society has bought the lie that only things that can be verified scientifically are valid. But you cannot prove scientifically that you were in bed last night, nor can you prove scientifically that love is real. We are however the poorer if we live our lives as if things that cannot be proved scientifically are false. And actually nobody does. We all act in faith in something, or we would not get on a bus or a plane! If I say “yes” (to the above question), and give one of the classical proofs of God's existence, I am met with such statements as “all truth is relative.” I do need to say though, that in my experience that line is only brought out when the other person is starting to loose the argument!

Most questions by skeptics involving God, have some hidden presupposition. The last question above assumes (and assumes wrongly) that scientific proof is the only valid proof. If this were the case many criminals would go free who should not go free. What I am saying is that the testimony of a witnesses is held up in court as a valid “proof.” It does need to be examined and tested, and this involves the character of the witness. This by the way, is one way we can find God, through the testimony of credible witnesses. Perhaps you don't know any. In my book that would be a valid excuse. But hey, I'm not God (ask my kids :)).

Confess your faults one to another that you may be healed

When was the last time you said “I was wrong,” and why is it so hard to say “Sorry” (except when you were just being polite – we're Canadian!)? I guess that at least part of the answer to the last question is that in order to say sorry, we have to admit that we are wrong. But being unwilling or unable to admit it when we are wrong, does terrible things to our relationships. The Scriptural promise/principle that healing comes when we are willing to be open and vulnerable with each other has a converse.

If we are not willing to confess our faults to each other, we inevitably finish up confessing each others faults (either “you did this or that,” or “Do you know what he/she said /did.”). Believe me (I think you will) this is not so healing.

Modern research into such things as conflict resolution, and the discovery of what and how intimacy works, has discovered the Biblical principle at the head of this post. It phrases it differently but it's the same thing. Openness and transparency and the willingness to take responsibility for our poor choices promotes bonding and intimacy. Is is any coincidence that principles that work in the study of human behaviour, all seem to reflect Biblical promises/principles? I don't believe it is. If all else fails read the (God's) instructions!

The world wants you happy but not holy, religion wants you holy but not happy. Jesus came to do both! - Bill Johnson

Some people have the view that God is a kind of Scrooge in the sky, and that whenever He sees someone down here having fun leans over the balcony of heaven and shouts down “Cut that out.” Nothing could be further from the truth, though it is unfortunately true that the Pharisee (those who feel self-righteous because they think they obey all the rules) are alive and well and living on planet earth. They do not however represent Him!

The World, often in reaction to the Pharisee, wants to throw out all rules, and sees all attempts at restraint as oppressive, old fashioned and guilt inducing. The problem, when we do this, is that we find that there are unwanted consequences to our behaviour. Some of us have learned from the school of hard knocks that when God says “No,” He does it for our provision and protection. Protection in the same way a parent tells the child “Do not touch the hot stove.” Provision because the things which entice us so often keep us from true freedom, true intimacy and the joy and peace that a relationship with God brings.

Jesus told us that the thief comes for no other reason but to kill and to steal and to destroy, but that He came to bring fullness of life. The thief stole a lot from me, but the Lord brought me a joy and a peace that I would not trade for anything. It is available to all, but we need to let go of the things that hinder and embrace His way, His will and His free gift of life. His invitation remains, He is waiting to be gracious to us!

Everything in life happens for a reason! Really?

Through no fault of your own, you lost your job, but there's a reason for it! No matter how hard you try, you can't seem to make ends meet. God is trying to tell you something! Your child has cancer, and so God is obviously punishing you for something. Really? That would be child abuse in my book!

If I believed that, I would be mad with God, and I am not! Certainly God allows this or that, but to say that such or such a thing happened for a reason, has the implication that God did it for that very reason, and I am not at all sure I could worship a God like that! To say that God allows this or that, is not the same as saying that He caused it.

It remains something of a mystery as to why He allows the things He does, but at least part of the explanation is that we are in a war to the death with the enemy of our souls. In the West it is often thought to be naive to believe in the devil. Not so in Africa, they know His power! He has (at least) two modes of operation. Here he seeks to persuade us that he does not exist. When he succeeds, he can whisper evil thoughts into our minds and we think it is our own thoughts. Sometimes it is, but I am thinking about the thoughts you (I) hope nobody ever finds out that you (I) have! In Africa he uses his power to seduce or cause fear. Ask our African brothers!

Jesus put it this way, “The thief comes for no other reason to steal and to kill and to destroy, but I am come that you might have life in all it's fullness.” The thief seems to be doing a good job. If it's all true would you not want to stop him stealing and robbing and destroying in your life? We need to get mad with him! It's not rocket science - God good, Devil - bad!

We are also told that “God works all things together for good for those who love Him.” This is not saying that bad things are good, it is not saying that God caused the bad things, and it is not saying that we will necessarily always understood how that can possibly be true. How can God possibly bring good out of the death of a child or out of any other incredible and devastating loss? He does not even promise that we would agree if we knew (at least not in the here and now). But He does promise that He is working and does work all things together for good for those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose.

What I do know is that when I chose to trust Him, He used all the things that cause me pain to draw me closer to Him, and that I am finding the fullness of life that He promised. Sometimes the pain is (was) a direct result of something I did (we reap what we sow). Sometimes it is the result of someone else's choices, something someone else said or did! Life is not fair, the good guys do not always win. If there is no hereafter, then certainly there is no justice, period! But God is just, and He has promised that in His time He will right every wrong, dry every tear, and mend every broken heart.

What if it's all true, and that the main reason we are here at all is to choose, to choose to follow either the thief or Him? What if there is no fence? Jesus told us there is not. “He who is not for me is against me!” What I know for sure is that my choosing to trust Him with the bad things that happened, and staying close to Him has allowed me to not only survive, but to live in hope and peace and even joy at times, starting to enter into the fulness He promised.

So does everything happen for reason? Not in the sense of the first paragraph. But can God bring meaning and reason into our suffering? Yes indeed He can, and He does when we choose to trust Him and to stop fighting the people and circumstances He allows!

The angst of not being allowed to warn of what we, rightly or wrongly, see as very real danger

There are times when being a Christian who takes Biblical revelation seriously (as in believing it to be true) is very hard. So hard that I can honestly say that if I am wrong in what I believe, I want to be gotten out of it. I will say more in a minute, but I do need to say that if you want to try to dissuade me, it will not be an easy job (British understatement). You see I am very, very convinced, not of every tiny detail (I do not by any means believe I have all the truth), but certainly of the basic essentials outlined, for example, by Inter-Varsity (can be Googled). For me the essentials are sure, some of the denominational distinctives, less so!

To come back to why it is hard, it's not only difficult to behave myself at times (I can resist anything but temptation :) ), but believing what I do about the existence of the afterlife with its two alternative destinations, has been and is unbearable at times. This is especially so, since there is more and more pressure to zip the mouth (or the pen!).

The way I think about this, is of it being Winter, there being slippy roads, and of knowing that down the road there is a bridge, round a sharp bend, that has been washed out. You see loved ones laughing and carrying on in a truck headed in that direction. They are having a whale of time, ignoring your warnings, telling you not only to mind your own business, but getting mad at you for trying to warn them.

We are told that there is a way that seems right to a man (or a woman), but the end thereof is destruction. It's not only the consequences of what we reap in the here and now, but, if is it true that there is a Holy God and we ignore His offer of forgiveness, we will remain unforgiven. Some see this belief in and of itself as self righteous and judgemental, but I have nothing to be either self righteous or judgemental about. The only real difference between me and the unbeliever is that I am forgiven and they (you?) are not. Considering the consequences of being wrong, and our propensity for all of us to be in denial, these things are surely worth investigating with our adult minds. It would lessen my angst, if there was more of it! Would the New Year not be a good time to do this?