Differences are only irreconcilable when we are unwilling to compromise.

In some Christian circles “compromise” is a dirty word. I mean how can you compromise on the truth? “I will swap you a virgin birth for a ...” well you name it, the Deity of Christ, or the inspiration of the Scriptures? I don't think so! I know where they are coming from though, I mean we are told to contend (as in stand up for) the truth (Jude 1:3). We are not of course to be contentious in our contending (2 Timothy 2:24,25). On the other hand “The first one to plead his cause seems right, Until his neighbor comes and examines him” (Proverbs 18:17). So then part of the problem in our differences, is that we have failed to listen to each other. As Proverbs 27:17 would have it “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

Sometimes is just laziness so that we don't want to have to think, so we give pat and shallow answers to complex questions. But thinking deeply about our faith, is part of loving the Lord with all our mind. Another part of the problem is found in our overreaction to the claim by the World that “All truth is relative (see “I don't believe that adultery is wrong” – July 2010). The overreaction I am speaking about is to claim that all truth is absolute, that there is only black and white, there is no gray. The truth of course is that there is black and there is white, and there are shades of gray. One of the tasks in loving the Lord with all of our minds is the ongoing process of discerning what is what in this regard. The longer I am in the Faith, the more sure I am of the basics, and the more I see apparently competing truths that need to be held in tension (see for example “Salvation by Faith, Assurance by Works" December 2010).

But the issue I want to address today has more to do with how we get on with each other. One therapist I know puts it this way “When we are at loggerheads, neither of us us know the truth. Each of us has about 10% of it, the rest can only be found in respectful negotiation” (iron sharpening iron again!). We live in a culture that is intend on “doing it my way”. The result more often than not, is the message we give each other is that it is “my way or the highway”, take it or leave it. And we dig in and build walls and close our ears and eyes to each other's pain.

Not all cultures are like this. In many cultures bargaining and negotiation are part of everyday life, and this spills over positively to negotiation in the issues of life. In the West if you see something you want, but can't afford it, you either overspend or do without. In Africa you would barter and maybe you would get it and maybe not. The difference it that hope is not trounced from the word go. So we need seminars in conflict resolution (not to mention in how to deal with conflict avoidance). We need to see that when we negotiate, we can many times find win – win solutions. There is need for innovation, earnestly seeking to find solutions. We need humility and grace and love and respect. These are Christian virtues and for the believer are part of they help we get as we walk in the Spirit with Him (Galatians 5:22). It is God's primary purpose that we be one in Him, and part of our witness to this wicked and hurting World is that in Him, with His help there are always solutions. We just have to be willing to seek them and to stop insisting on having it all our own way.