Freedom III. The Importance of forgiveness

I have been saying over and over that we cannot be full of God when we are full of other things. Lets apply this to unforgiveness. We cannot be full of God when we are full of anger or bitterness or resentment, or self righteousness for that matter, or when we are being judgmental. unforgiveness opens up doors to all kinds of things that God wants to protect us from (strife and the like are destructive, no matter whose fault it is). When we are full of these things and not willing to let go, He will not provide for us with the fullness of His love, His Spirit, His joy etc., etc.

I think it is important to say a couple of things about what forgiveness is not. Forgiveness is not saying that what he or she did was okay. Forgiveness is not about pretending it did not hurt us when it did. Forgiveness is not giving permission for the person to do it again. The one who benefits most from my forgiveness is me. One person put it this way “Forgiveness is the finishing of old business that allows us to experience the present, free of contamination from the past”. And lets make no mistake about it when we do not or cannot forgive, we are contaminated by it. It affects our moods and our physical and spiritual health. Unforgiveness is an acid that eats away at our sense of well being, and when it degenerates into bitterness (and even before) is poisons not only us personally, but also those we love (see “Don't get mad, get even and poison … ). Unforgiveness prevents unity and reconciliation, and promotes the very opposite agenda of our Lord and our God (Ephesians 1:9-11).

Jesus has some of His most difficult teaching about unforgiveness. If we will not forgive others, neither will He forgive us (Matthew 6:15). Forgiveness is about giving the other person (sometimes ourselves) a gift that is undeserved. There is no way that we deserve to be forgiven by God. But He is willing to forgive us freely and fully. He takes our sins and casts them into the sea of forgetfulness. He is our model. I do not pretend this is easy, but we need to realize that unforgiveness is like a cancer to our emotional, spiritual and even physical health. Going through the motions here is not enough. How much cancer do you want them to leave in your body if they operate on you for cancer? Sometimes radical surgery is necessary. It is certainly like this with unforgiveness.

Jesus teaching is, as I say, difficult, but as always it is for our provision and protection, and if we are to enter into this, we need to deal with unforgiveness radically. So He tells us that the same measure with which we forgive, is exactly the same measure we are forgiven. You see we cannot demand or want justice for the other guy, but mercy for me. If we demand justice or revenge (which is what unforgiveness is really all about), then we put ourselves under the Law. And we will be judged by the Law. The Scriptures tell us that by the works of the Law will no one be justified (Galatians 2:16). Actually the Law in intended to show us that we need Christ's righteousness, or as Paul puts it “The law is our schoolmaster to bring us to Christ” (Galatians 3:24). When we read the Law, we start to realize just how far short we fall of His Glory. What do you want when you die Justice or Mercy (see Pulled over for speeding.... June 2010)? Remember that in many things we all fail (James 3:2)? We will have to give an account of every idle word (Matthew 12:36).

Let me say it again, none of this is to say that it is easy. A quotation from Marianne Williamson says “At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.” Like so many other things that He requires of us, He is more than willing to give us help. Most of us find that forgiving someone is a process. It starts with a decision. I choose to forgive. I may need to start a ways back “I am willing to forgive”. When it is really hard we may need to start with “I am willing to be willing”. We have to start where we are “at”, and He understands that . “He knows my frame and He knows we are but dust” (Psalm 103:13). This is where we need to start, but not where we need to end up. We need to continue the process until we can forgive from the heart (Matthew 18:35). The good news is that He helps us when we obey. When we obey He starts the process of healing, and the more we are healed the more able we are to obey, the more we are healed etc., etc. In this way, we enter into His positive cycles of recovery!