Isolate, agitate destroy – the power of offense

I had forgiven him and he had forgiven me, but then out of the blue he stopped talking to me again. When I asked him why, he basically told me that it was better this way. I intuited that he had been meditating on my previous offenses. The Scripture tells me “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men” (Romans 12:18).

We probably both felt we had gone the second mile, but how many extra miles can you go before it becomes obvious that it is counterproductive? Part of what the verse says to me, is that it is not always possible to live at peace with others. It takes two to reconcile, but just one can force a standoff! I had to learn the hard way, that I cannot make up for what the other party is not willing to give. But this is not what I want to talk about today. You see, I can see that this man is deeply hurting (and not just from me), that he is isolated and that the Evil one is using the offense taken to keep him wounded, and ultimately to take him down. I feel more sad than mad, sad for him, he is not a happy man. The Scripture talks about not being ignorant of the devices of the Devil (2 Corinthians 2:11), but it seems to me that he takes many of us in, like this.

One of his devices is most certainly the strategy “divide and conquer.” He is desperate to do this, since “Two are better than one ... For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up” (Ecclesiastes 4:9,10). He loves to isolate us, stir us up against each other and then take us down. When we allow ourselves to be offended (and lets face it there is lots of opportunity) then we cannot hear one another, we stay stuck in our misunderstandings, false conclusions jumped to and our judgemental attitudes. We grow in resentment and bitterness. We will not walk in the Joy of the Lord while we do this. We need to wake up to the fact that when we find ourselves stuck in this way, we have allowed ourselves to be robbed by the enemy of our souls. It is the exact opposite of what we are commanded, for we are to be “kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).

I was stuck like this for a long time, too long to allow myself to be there anymore. I want the abundant life promised me, not the destruction left to me when I allow the thief to kill and to steal and destroy (John 10:10). Lord show me the what, the when and the how of my part in “as much as lies within me, to live at peace with all.” In Jesus Name.