Unless you hate mother and father, wife, ... and your own self also ... you cannot be my disciple (Journey Continued)

I had a major breakdown in 1995.  I knew that if the therapist I went to was going to help me, then I had to trust him. Some of the things he was saying made sense, so  I made a decision that I would trust him, and I would leave it to the Lord to sort out later anywhere he may lead me wrong. With Jesus, you don't need to worry that He will lead you wrong. There is nobody smarter or wiser or more loving or more interested in your welfare.

 So what on earth does Jesus mean in  the verses in the title of this post (taken from Luke 14)?  They say that scripture is its own best interpreter.  You know that you cannot take these verses literally, since that would contradict the vast number of scriptures that tell you to do otherwise. The best clue to the correct interpretation of these verses comes in context. In verse 33 He says “So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple.”  Jesus knew well that  relationships play a major role in keeping us from Him.  In the case of my own conversion it was my relationship with my  “own self also” that was holding me back.  In light of it all, it seems best to understand these verses to meant that in comparison to our love for Him, our love of father, mother, wife, ... and our own self also – needs to be so far down the scale that it is almost as if it is hate. So it is not that we hate, but that our love and commitment to Him is to be radical.  If He is not Lord of all, He is not Lord at all!

You see unless we trust Him completely (no matter what the outcome) He will not be able to help us. Imagine going to the doctor and deciding not to take the medicine, or not to take all of it (just enough to allow the bad bugs to develop immunity)?  Perhaps your earthly Doctor cannot be trusted, but you can trust  Dr. Jesus.  

Well all this to say that I had a decision to make, and I knew that He required absolute surrender.  I understand now, that when He puts His finger on something in my life that He does not like, He does so for my provision and protection.  It can seem to be radical at times, but that is because the things that hinder are like cancer and need to be dealt with radically. If they open you up to remove cancer how much of it do you want them to leave inside you?

Many times, even now, when He puts His finger on something in my life I struggle and wrestle and struggle. But when I finally surrender it all, I have found without exception that  I can look back and not only see it was for the good, but in retrospect wonder why I had to struggle so hard to surrender.

It was like that in the beginning. I am not recommending this, but for me the moment of surrender came when I was spaced out from my addictions. I remember looking at  myself in the mirror, being intensely dissatisfied with myself,  weary and worn out and saying to Him “Jesus I can't fight you any more”.  'I am not fighting you Phil'. I was however, fighting Him.  So then I finally surrendered, “just as I am”.  The rest is history.