I pour out my complaint to the Lord

In this Psalm from which the title of the post comes (Psalm 142), David talks about being alone with nowhere to go (no refuge). He feels like nobody cares for Him (verse 4). He is persecuted and brought very low by those who are stronger than he (verse 6). He has been ensnared (verse 3) and he feels like he is in prison (verse 7). He is feeling completely overwhelmed (verse 3). Can anybody relate?

One of the things we humans seem to be very good at is getting stuck, at least it is if you are anything like me. There have been times in my life when “stuck” is an understatement, as when the bottom has fallen out of my world. Before I became a Christian my response was to be sad, mad and bad. The first thing to change when I became a Christian was that I was less bad (certainly not perfect). At lest I like to think that there was less taking out my anger and frustration on others. What took a lot longer to change was the obsessive thought patterns (sad and mad). Thoughts about injustices done, feelings of betrayal and the desire to “give them a piece of my mind” would go round and round and round with seemingly no relief. “Overwhelmed” fits the bill for sure, as do the phrases 'unable to function normally' and 'stuck in the treadmill of my thoughts'. The need to get such thoughts out is paramount, but we need to do this carefully if it is not to be destructive.

The notion of catharsis (from the Greek 'cleansing') has been adopted by modern psychotherapy to “describe the act of expressing, or more accurately, experiencing the deep emotions”. The primary thought is about anger, and the patient is told let it all out. There is a certainly a time and a place for doing this, but while “'Blowing off steam' may reduce physiological stress in the short term, but this reduction may act as a reward mechanism, reinforcing the behaviour and promoting future outbursts” (phrases in quotations from Wikipedia). In a relationship where both sides are angry, it can lead to saying and doing things that end up severing of the relationship. I am not one who advocates “no fighting” in a relationship. Conflict avoidance has its own dangers as suppressing disagreement over and over is just as likely to lead to the end of a relationship as is out of control anger. When you push things under the rug, and push things under the rug, you end up with a monster there! No, if a relationship is to be anything more than superficial, we will need to fight, but we need to learn to fight fair, and we need to know when to break off and when to resume. But going to each other when we are overwhelmed or stewing might not be the best idea. As we were saying last day there are times when we may need “time out” from our relationships. But what do we do with the stuff that goes round and round and round in our hearts and minds.

The scriptures tells us that if our brother sins against us, we need to go to him (Matthew 18:15 ff). The intent is bring reconciliation, but there are times when we are just too angry, or that for whatever reason that avenue is blocked. The tendency then (or even before) is to go to some other brother and “let it all out”. There are two potential problems here. The first is that it immediately involves others in our differences. And this can make reconciliation more difficult because your friend or relative may be offended at the person you are mad with. He or she may hold a grudge long after you have forgiven. The second (and related point) is that we will likely not choose someone who is objective, – we will likely want someone to agree with us. But a true friend will speak the truth (in love) even if we do not want to hear it. There is no better friend than the Lord.

David poured out his complaint to the Lord. It was poured out, it was not a trickle. For me there have been times when my complaint was against the Lord Himself. “How could You let such and such a thing happen?” The Lord is big enough to absorb our complaints and anger. He would rather we came to Him pouring it all out, rather than stay away mad at Him. When we come, when as in David's case it was the bad done to him by others, we find comfort and strength and peace and hope and love.

These things work best when we already have an intimate relationship with the Lord. But they can also be the very means of coming into (or deepening) relationship with Him. He has promised that when we turn to Him, He will work even through the evil for our good. Note carefully this is not in spite of the evil, He is clever enough and powerful enough to use the evil itself for our good (Romans 8:28). And part of this is our drawing closer to Him in whose presence there is life (real life). Another part is our growth as we learn to stop fighting the people and circumstances that He has allowed to come into our lives to refine us. We need to trust Him even in these things. We do need to surrender. He has promised that if we trust Him with all of our hears, acknowledging how limited is our own understanding, then He will direct and guide us and in His time straighten out the crooked paths (Proverbs 3:5,6 – various versions).