“It is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18).

In a world of cell phones and instant communication, we live in the most connected society ever.  Yet at the same time loneliness,  isolation and divorce are of epidemic proportions. We are wounded in community, but we cannot heal in isolation. Perhaps we can survive, but we cannot heal, isolation is not good. I have felt for a very long time that marriage and relationships are God's primary tool to make us more like Christ, and to bring “Kingdom come on earth” in relationships (Matthew 6:10). I believe this is true even when we have utterly failed.

We are told, as far as it depends on us, to live at peace with all (Romans 12:18). It's not always possible of course. Indeed there's a time to embrace,  and a time to refrain from embracing (Ecclesiastes 3:5). Having said that, we tend to either give up far too easily, or we endure rather than deal with the issues,  engaging in the iron sharpening iron character polishing process (Proverbs 27:17). Salvation is by Grace from start to finish, sanctification (freedom from the power and pollution of sin) is certainly by grace, but also through radical obedience and mutual submission (Philippians 2:12, 13; Ephesians 5:21). Obedience allows us the tap into that grace we need to help (Hebrews 4:16).  

One picture of “Kingdom come” in relationships,  looks like paradise before the fall. And we can see what bad things were absent, and what good things were present,  from the admonitions in Scripture. Absent then was  bitterness, wrath, anger, evil speaking and malice (Ephesians 4:31). Present was compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, love, being thankful and forgiving one another as Christ forgave us (Colossians 3:12-15). The believer does not have to do any of this without His help (grace).  We need His grace to do any of it,  but there is one command for which I believe we need a double portion of grace to even start to move into. But it's key.

James 5:16 reads “Confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” As the verse implies, it's key to healing, but it is also a major key to growth.  It requires the very opposite of bitterness, resentment and blame. It's about taking care of our side of the street, and it's at the heart of twelve-step programs. What is interesting, is that by and large such programs are safe. And when Christ is Your higher power, you have access to all the principles and promises of Scripture, as well as the power and the presence of  Holy Spirit (2 Peter 1:4; 2 Timothy 1:7).  James 5:16 is not 'Kingdom Come 101.' In particular, the almost desperate need we seem to have to be right, to blame others and hide our sin and shame, this needs to die.

Father, even the thought of confessing to others is scary. But we confess to You to be forgiven (1 John 1:9), and we confess to others to be healed! As in twelve -step programs we need to find  just one safe person for this. Help us with this Lord, and give us wisdom and courage to create safe places. Thank You that Kingdom come its not so much about absolute maturity, but rather about the process of being changed (2 Corinthians 3:18).  Thank You Lord that that it's not all up to us, and that You who have begun a good work in us will keep right on doing it (Philippians 1:6), in Jesus Name Amen