Benjamin born, Rachel dies, Reuben's sin

The clan moves on from Bethel,  and on the way Rachel gave  birth to Benjamin the twelfth of the twelve patriarchs.  Rachel died in childbirth but before she did,  she wanted to name him Ben-Oni, the son of my sorrow. But Jacob names him Benjamin, son of my right hand. Rachel was buried on the way to Bethlehem and a pillar erected on her grave. Then “Reuben went and lay with Bilhah his father’s concubine; and Israel heard about it” (Genesis 35:16-22).

Ben-Oni means the son of my sorrow,  Benjamin, the son of my right hand. Ellicott  comments  doubtless, her feeling was that the life of her offspring was purchased by her own pain and death. Jacob’s name for him, “son of the right hand,” was probably given not merely that the child might-bear no ill-omened title, but to mark the preciousness of his last born son.

In spite of the fact that his family had followed his directions to put away the family idols (35:2), Jacob was a weak father. I am thinking about fear being the response to the massacre perpetrated by Simeon and Levi. We do not read of rebuke (34:30).  And here we read that he heard about Reuben's sin, not that he did anything about it.  My next quote is controversial “Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.” (Proverbs 13:24).  The Lord is David's shepherd, and God's rod is part of what comforts him (Psalm 23:4). As a shepherd himself David probably used his rod to give light taps to the sheep to keep them going in the right direction. The verse is controversial because it evokes the issue of spanking.  However, in the manner of Hebrew poetry, with the second stanza saying the same thing and elaborating, it is clear that the rod is talking about discipline in general. For one of my daughters,  a look was enough to correct her.

In Proverbs 3:12 we read “the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.”  Jordon Peterson says that it is our duty to bring our children up in such a way that other people like them. This takes discipline! Peterson suggest dealing with temper tantrums by putting them in time out, and telling them they can come out when they are feeling better. We probably learn best from the consequences of our actions.  Responsible parents will make the consequences appropriate. When children  are adults we have no control over them, as demonstrated by the story of Jacob (verse 22).  Consequences we learn as adults are likely to be far more serious than in childhood. In any case some of my most precious memories are in the aftermath of disciplining my kids,  when I have taken them into my arms,  told them I love them,  and they have happily bounced back. We can learn a lot about forgiveness from children. Appropriate discipline helps children to feel secure, and to know where the boundaries are!

Father, it's less painful to leant discipline when we are young. Thank You for Proverb which is full of wisdom both for both children and parents. For some of us it feels too late, but it is never too late to pray for them and when we turn to You,  You have promised to restore the years the locus have eaten (Joel 2:25). In any case Lord help us to pray for both our children and our parents in Jesus Name Amen