Part II Interesting conversation

I bumped into same man I did the other day (Interesting conversations part I) and, for those who know me well,  wonder of wonders, I not only recognized him,  I remembered his name. He told me of someone he knew who was very accomplished, and that I had reminded him of his friend. His friend was now dead,  but that right up until the end of his life,  he had continued to learn (anybody would think I am old!). I took this as a compliment! I told him of some recent thoughts I had had, prompted by both by the oft repeated phrase in Proverbs “get understanding,  and about all get understanding,”  that and the deep waters I have just been going through. In particular,  because of some recent difficulties I had encountered in relationships, I was seeing the need to understand what lies behind miscommunication, and how my own issues tend to get mixed up with the other person's.  You know, for example,  the other person is angry, but not being willing to admit it even to themselves, they project their anger on you. In other words they   claim that it is you who are angry.  And then it goes downhill fast since your every action is interpreted as confirming what they think!

We got into who can you trust.  I see many who trust nobody but themselves,  and I told him that I had come to realize that I am the last person I should trust. I explained that in the break up of my first marriage I had murder in my heart,  convinced she was pure evil. So convinced was I that all these years later,  I still don't know if I would have done it,  if I thought I could have gotten away with it. After having my eyes opened,  and being convicted of my own faults,  I was convicted by the verse that says that the heart is deceitful above all and desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:9). I was certainly deceived.

I went on to explain, that I now have a higher power who helps me with these things  (I said “Jesus” in the silly voice some of you know,  and I laughed).  I went on to say that I need this higher power because we don't know what we don't know, and the therapist I went to at the time of my  my 1995 breakdown told me that in the midsts of miscommunication we both know only about 10% of the truth.  So now in the midst of miscommunications I tend to ask God to help me sort out my side of the street. I then fess up my part,  to the other person,  even if they are not willing to fess up theirs. If I am still feeling misunderstood I know that most misunderstood person in the universe knows my pain and, at least in theory,  will give me the grace to let it go if He thinks I should, or to follow thought if that is the way He is leading me.

Father, it is so, so easy for me to judge others when it's me who is the problem. You Word even tells me not to judge because “You who judge do the very same thing” (Romans 2:1). It is interesting to me Lord,  that what modern Psychology is telling us,  You essentially told us thousands of years ago. You truly are the true higher power,  I and give You glory in Jesus Name Amen