Forgiveness: Psychology arrives thousands of years after the Bible

The connections between psychology and the Judeo-Christian faith have fascinated me for a very long time. In what is perhaps my limited knowledge of both psychology and the Scriptures, I have observed that whenever a psychological principle works, inevitably it can be found in the Scriptures. This morning I want to look at what both Psychology and the Scriptures say about forgiveness.

In the Psychology Today Blog (September 16, 2014) we read “And the truth is that forgiveness is more powerful than you might think. Just like with anything in life, there are costs to your choices. Staying angry, resentful, and vengeful comes at a price. All these feelings can have a detrimental impact on your physical and emotional health as well as your relationships.

Psychologically, when people reported higher levels of forgiveness, they also tended to report better health habits and decreased depression, anxiety, and anger levels. Even in betrayed couples, greater levels of forgiveness were associated with more satisfied relationships, a stronger parenting alliance, and children's perceptions of parenting functioning. Physiologically, higher reported levels of forgiveness were associated with lower white blood cell count and hematocrit levels. White blood cells are an integral part of fighting off diseases and infections. Together, these results highlight the importance of forgiveness - not for the other person, but for you. Don't allow your mind and your body to go through another day feeling vengeful and angry.”

From the spiritual point of view, I want to pick up on what the article says about both the impact and the cost of forgiveness/unforgiveness. In particular there is a spiritual impact and cost to unforgiveness. Jesus taught us to ask God to forgive us for what we have done wrong, in exactly the same way that we forgive others for the things that they have done to us. He goes on to say that if we do not forgive, neither will we be forgiven. If you think about this, this is just! And this has to be one of the more scary prayers to pray. As I have said before what I want when I die is mercy, not justice. So firstly then from a spiritual point of view, we need to forgive others, because we ourselves need to be forgiven!

The article also talks about the cost of unforgiveness. But there is a cost to forgiveness too. To be told that we need to forgive someone who has abused us for example, can seem as abusive as the original abuse. And in this and other cases, the cost of forgiving others can seem too high! The point though, as we have been discussing, is that we need to forgive for our own sake, not for theirs.

So in fact the victim needs to be a better person than the abuser. It’s the same, but actually far, far greater in our relationship with God. God needed to find a way to be both just and merciful, and He did this by sending Jesus to die on the cross for our sins. An analogy might be helpful. If we are taken to court and sentenced to a huge fine which we are unable to pay, then both justice and mercy can be served by the judge paying our fine for us. This is what Jesus did, for “The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord” (Romans 6:23). A gift of course, has to be received. Have you received it yet?

Father, help me never to take for granted the incredible cost of my salvation. Help me to remember this in times when I find it difficult to let go of my resentment and unforgiveness. I Love You Lord in Jesus Name Amen