Guilt and shame banished (I)!

Principle 4 of the 8 principle alternative to the 12-step program reads “Openly examining and confessed my faults to myself, to God and to someone I trust.” Freedom, peace of mind and joy, is the common testimony of those who fearlessly and with integrity have completed this step. On the other hand, this is the step where many drop out. One of the leaders questions for the open share discussion of this principle is “Which do you find more difficult: confessing to God, yourself or to someone you trust?” This morning I want to blog about the difficulty of confessing to ourselves. There will be more to come!

Being honest with our self is more difficult than we might imagine. Human nature seems to have this tendency to minimize our own faults, and maximize the other person’s. It’s called the blame game, and it’s as old as life itself. When God asked Adam “Did you eat of the fruit of the tree I commanded you not to eat?” The very first words out of his mouth was “The woman,” in other words it was her fault. This was quickly followed by “that You gave,” in other words it’s Your fault too God. It was You who gave her to me!

I remember years ago, in trying to sort out some difficulties within a fellowship, I was told “I don’t do introspection!” I guess I could have asked why, but I didn’t think of it at the time. in any case, I know the answer. It’s just too hard and too painful. In particular, we tend to bury our guilt and shame. This too is as old as the hills. Adam and Eve hid from God, and by covering themselves with fig leaves they hid from each other and in fact from themselves! So then this tendency to hide our faults even from ourselves, is very common. It is of course much easier to see in others. But it does not bring health and life and peace!

The saying “The unexamined life is not worth living,” is attributed to Socrates. But it is also evidenced in the Psalms. King David, most likely talking about his adultery with Bathsheba, and the subsequent murder of her husband says “When I kept silent, my bones grew old, through my groaning all the day long” (Psalm 32:3). The author of the Tyndale commentary on this verse remarks “Even human estrangements can produce this deep unrest of mind and body – and still be doggedly kept up.”

This phenomenon can perhaps best be described as denial, and perhaps the biggest manifestation of denial is the denial that we are in denial! But the problem, to whith the Scriptures again attest, is that “He who conceals his sin does not prosper” (Proverbs 28:13). The verse continues “but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” In fact turning from our sin, and turning over a new leaf, brings health to our flesh, and strength to our bones (Proverbs 3:8).

The gospel is often described as good news, but the good news makes no sense without the bad news. And there’s a kind of Catch-22 that goes on here. What I mean is that until we know we can be forgiven and cleansed from our sin, it’s very difficult to confess it. On the other hand, when we deny our sin we cannot even see that we need to be forgiven. It’s one of the devils traps. More to come tomorrow!

Father, from this side, denial makes absolutely no sense. Knowing that You are faithful and just not only to forgive my sins but also to cleanse me from all the defilement thereof (1 John 1:9), helps me to keep short accounts with You. Please keep me close to You, so that my life may be a living testimony that in You is life and health and peace. In Jesus Name Amen