Marriage: a primary tool to make us like Christ

Most people who have been married for any length of time will tell you, that the marriage relationship is not easy. In fact Paul tells us “Those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this” (1 Corinthians 7:28). So perhaps the marriage relationship is the most difficult of relationships, but it is also potentially the most rewarding. In any case it seems to me, judging from what happened to Paul (2 Corinthians 11:24), that if it’s not the marriage relationship, God will use something else to refine us. After all “All those who live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution” (2 Timothy 3:12).

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control (Galatians 5:22). The analogy of these qualities being fruit, speaks of the need to be consistently and vitally connected to the root. A tree planted by the water continued to bear fruit even in the dry seasons (Jeremiah 17:8). But to mix the metaphors, we learn to really sail in a gale, not on calm seas! Now joy is part of the fruit, but we have a part to play to stay rooted and grounded, and to choose to count it all joy in the midst of the multi varied trials and temptations (James 1:2).

The verse comes to me again and again, which says that we need to look to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross despising the shame (Hebrews 12:2). As a pioneer, He goes before us to show us the way. And He is the perfecter of our faith as we choose to endure, to push through the pain, to cooperate in endurance and long-suffering, knowing that the testing of our faith produces the fruit He desires we exhibit to show the way to freedom and healing to this wicked and hurting world. Godly marriages may not be the norm, but those who have allowed the Lord to refine them, are truly beautiful! I also see something beautiful in those who, though they have failed, nevertheless have truly overcome the temptation to bitterness, and have allowed Him to use it all as a refining fire.

Father, while there is hypocrisy in saying “Do as I say, not as I do,” there is no hypocrisy in saying “Please don’t do as I did, but rather learn from my mistakes!” For those of us who have utterly failed concerning marriage, You can still you still have things for us to learn from our failure. In particular we need Your love, joy, peace and long-suffering etc., etc. We need to receive Your grace to forgive (Hebrews 12:15). It takes two to tango, and even when there are glaring faults on the part of our partner, our response to the wrong done needs to display all the fruit of the Spirit. I don’t get tired of saying this Lord. we need Your help in all of these things. And I asked for it again this morning Lord in Jesus Name Amen