For God .. not given a spirit of fear, but of power … love and of a sound mind Part (IV) Love (II)

For the Christian, when love dies the God of resurrection is ready willing and able to resurrect love. It does however require our strong cooperation. Last day we were discussing getting rid of the opposite spirits of blame, resentment etc., etc. But pulling the weeds from the garden of our lives is not enough. We need the nutrients of the fruit and the characteristics of the Spirit! And these nutrients have less to do with what we do, rather they are more about our inner attitudes of humility, openness, vulnerability etc. etc.! One of the key verses in this regard is James 5:16 which says “Confess your faults to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.”

Confessing our faults to one another takes it one step further than cutting out the blame. It is necessary however, because unless or until we are willing to take responsibility for our part in the things that go wrong, there will be no healing. Inevitably, if I don’t confess my part, then my partner will need to, and that might not be quite so healing! It may be necessary however, because most of us are blind to our own faults. It does need to be done gently and in humility (Galatians 6:1). What is also important here, is to keep short accounts. When we engage in conflict avoidance over and over, pushing the little foxes under the rug, what finishes up under the rug is a monster. And if we can’t deal with the little foxes dealing with the monster will be something else!

I am fond of saying that God never gives a command that He does not with the command, also give us the grace to obey. So the good news, is that it’s not all up to us. And part of the wherewithal, part of the grace, is that God has already given to us a spirit of love. In the garden, when the weeds are pulled up and nutrients added, the plant will grow automatically because “earth yields crops by itself” (Mark 4:28). Likewise when we strongly cooperate the spirit of love manifests. It is important to note that there is no such thing as an instant crop, likewise there is no such thing as an instant fix when things have gone badly wrong. But again as I’m fond of saying, marriage is one of God’s primary tools to refine us and to make us more like Christ (Romans 8:28, 29).

Father, Your Word tells us that we have need of endurance in order that we may obtain the promises (Hebrews 10:36). We need your help here too Lord, especially when the hurt has gone deep. Thank you Lord that when we totally surrender to You, not only do You work in our ability to do what You call us to do, but You also work in our desires, our willingness to do it (Philippians 2:12, 13). In fact we need Your help from beginning to end. Thank You Lord that You are far more willing to give it many times, than we are to receive it. So we come before the throne of grace this morning Lord, that we may obtain grace to help in our times of need (Hebrews 4:16) in Jesus Name Amen