The shame, fear and control “trinity”

“If anyone ever found out, I would die!” The devil has no originality whatsoever, he can mimic bulwarks, the “trinities” that God has provided to defeat him. The Devil's "trinities" are called strongholds. I don’t mean so much that there are always only three things in any stronghold, but rather that the characteristics of trinity, unity in diversity, the whole is greater than the sum of the parts, and the components reinforce one another. This morning I want to look at the stronghold of shame, fear and control. Clearly, the opening sentence of this blog reveals a fear of discovery of something of which you are ashamed (if this is you). Sitting in that fear, you are likely to be very guarded, and so to try and control the conversation, or to remove yourself from the situation, or to otherwise try to handle things.

In a shame, fear, control stronghold, each component feeds into the other. The greater the shame, the greater the fear, the greater the need to guard the secret and then coming full circle the greater the shame. Shame grows in the dark! It’s a vicious cycle! A big part of why we need to hide, is because since the fall the world, by and large, is not a safe place. Have you ever thought along the lines “If they knew what I was really like, they wouldn’t like me, they would reject me!” And the truth is, that some would, some would judge and reject you. The Pharisee is alive and well and living both inside and outside the church! But the truth is, that in the end we are all the same, for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:22, 23).

The only way to get out of this stronghold, is to come out of hiding. But in order to do that, we need to find a safe place. I am sorry to have to tell you, that church is not always safe, it should be, and sometimes it is, but far from always! The anonymity in Alcoholics Anonymous is important. The point is then that we can confess in an atmosphere where we know we are all the same, when we truly know we are all the same we will not judge, and we will not reject one another. Ultimately, if we are to cooperate with “thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven,” the church will need to come out of hiding. Only then will we find healing (James 5:16). It has to start with the leadership being willing to be open and vulnerable. A river can rise no higher than its source. I’m happy to say, that it has started. I am greatly encouraged and I greatly admire the courage and the vulnerability of the recent disclosure by Lou Engle https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5T0HxqIVhWM

Father, it’s easy to admire the strength and the success of great leaders. But if we see only their strength and success, we are likely to tell ourselves that we could never be like them. When they are willing to share their weaknesses, to be open and vulnerable and real, then that encourages us to be open and vulnerable and real too. As I said above Father, it has to start with the leaders, and Lord I just want to pray into this, that Lou’s example will be the catalyst for the church to come out of hiding. I thank You Lord for this precious man of God, and I pray that You will protect him and use his example greatly to help Your church in this journey to becoming more open. And it is a journey Lord, and we likely need to take one step at a time, starting with just one safe person. You promise healing Lord as we confess our faults one to another (James 5:16 again). But Father we need You to create and help us find safe places, and we need You to give us the courage to be catalysts too. Only You can do this Father, and we desperately need You to do it Lord in Jesus Name Amen