God's way, man's ways: “Perhaps I shall obtain children by her”

In shame and agony at having no children, Sari suggests Abram take Sari's handmaid as wife to have children for her. God had promised Abram and Sari a son (12:1), but it had been ten years,  and still no son. So they try to fulfill God's promise for Him (Genesis 16:1-3). Paul tells us “whatever things were written before were written for our learning (Romans 15:4).

It's important that we learn from our mistakes, but we don't have to learn everything the hard way, we can learn from other people’  mistakes.  In Genesis we get raw data to see the big picture, but we need to unpack it.  I've made many mistakes in my life. I didn't always do this, but I have formed the habit of asking myself what was my part in what went wrong, what wasn't I seeing? Was there something I should have done or not done, and what were the consequences of that doing or not doing? Is there someone I need to forgive, is there someone to whom I need to make amends? We can ask these very same questions of Sari and Abram.  We look not to condemn,  but to learn.  

What I see first is Sarai giving into her doubt.  Our enemy Satan   (3:1) likely whispered in her ear “God's never going to give me  children, He's closed my womb. The only way is if Hagar has them for me” (verse 2). Notice that Satan whispers in the first person, me, my, not you, your. He does this so we will think it's our own thoughts, not his.  We must learn to distinguish my voice, his voice, the Shepherd's voice. We do this by following Jesus the Shepherd.   Satan is a liar and the father of lies (John 10:27; 8:44). He lied to Sari telling her it would be her child, not Hagar's (verse 2).  Perhaps the start of Sarai's  realization of this, came with Hagar's attitude at her being a mother and Sarai not, she was despised in her eyes. When Sari did eventually have her own child, she would thoroughly disown Ishmael,  and pressure Abram to cast both Hagar and him out (21:11).

Psychology has relatively recently understood that family patterns tend to repeat, and that you need to study the extended family to figure out what is going on. It's difficult, because most families try to hide their dysfunction, and blame the black sheep or the family. As a consequence, the dysfunction continues generation after generation.  The Bible had this insight first,  thousands of years ago (see Exodus 20:5). It also has the solutions (Exodus 20:6). This too needs to be unpacked. The other thing, is that Bible gives us the raw data that enables us to study these things down extended generations.  Some studies have already used Genesis in this way.

Father, Your ways are not our ways, and Your ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:9). We don't see the consequence of our sin,  if not dealt with,  can trickle down the generations like ripples on an infinite pond.  Ishmael,  being cast out, operates out of an orphan spirit. “His hand shall be against every man, and every man’s hand against him” (verse 12). And the descendants of Ishmael and Abram's son Isaac are still at war today. This orphan spirit is the spirit of the age Lord, and we flee to You this morning for our selves and our children. Continue to teach us through Your Word Lord,  give us the wisdom and grace we need to stop the rot in Jesus Name Amen