Be angry and sin not

Many Christians have the false impression that all anger is wrong. But God gets angry, and He is and remains completely Holy. Jesus got angry (Mark 3:5), yet He was also without sin (Hebrews 4:15). What is more, He acted on His anger when, for example, He overturned the tables of the money changers (John 2:15). On top of this, the command in the title of the post to be angry and sin not (Ephesians 4:26) clearly implies that it is possible to be angry without being or doing wrong. Of course it is more than possible to sin when we are angry!

The Scriptures are very clear on this, for “the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness that God desires” (James 1:20). Anger can be used to manipulate others, or to frighten or intimidate them into submission. This is wrong, this is sin! Anger can lead to violence, and all kinds of abuse, verbal and otherwise, and no one is saying this is right. But anger can also help us to find the courage to do what needs to be done and what we might not otherwise do. We may, for example, need to be angry before we have the courage to confront behaviour that is inappropriate. To do this in a way that honours Him though, we do need to have it under control so we can do this lovingly.

So the Bible does not tell us not to be angry period, but it does command and expect that we have our tempers tamed. It is helpful to me to think of wrath as inappropriately expressed anger. For the one who follows God the question to ask is “as an ambassador for Christ, do my actions and attitudes honour Him?” When they do not, I will need to apologize for this, even when the other person is wrong! It is worth pointing out that the times we read of Jesus' anger, were all to do with injustices done to others.

In spite of teaching from Ephesians, I know from experience that is it very easy in Christian circles to be judged and dismissed for the smallest sign that you are not completely calm, as in for example for simply for raising one's voice. Please note in saying this, that I am not trying to justify the many times my anger was not righteous. I had a serious anger problem that I needed to deal with. From time to time I still find myself needing to apologize for saying or doing the wrong thing and/or allowing the anger to build too quickly (James 1:19). But if you think I am am bad now, you should have seen me before the Lord started to help me deal with my anger (well perhaps not)!

With me, what you see is what you get. You may not want to see it, and as I say I have had to apologize many times. On the other hand, as with all error, the false belief that anger is wrong period, has a number of destructive consequences. The point is that we all get angry at times, though from what I can see there are many who deny they are angry when they are. One brother I know who I have never known to raise his voice, suffers from high blood pressure. My guess is that the two things are related. In particular, when anger is denied is it suppressed, stuffed if you like. I think that was the biggest problem with me. Stuffed anger was a generational thing in our family, and this sort of thing is volcanic, it will eventually erupt like mount Vesuvius. So as I said, it was a relief to me to find out that you can be angry and still not sin. It was the start of my being able to deal with it. My anger often seemed to come out of nowhere, and when it did I could tell myself I am angry, but I have not necessarily sinned yet.

We need to give ourselves permission to be angry when it is appropriate. At the same time we need to realize that it is far too easy to let it lead us into doing wrong. We all get angry at times, but we don't all admit it. What is more close relationships (marriage and the like) are the very places where this is where there is likely to be a lot of anger. Moreover this will always be two sided for anger provokes anger. I need to say from my observations, it seems to me that many times one side will deny they are angry! In healthy relationships you learn to fight fair and appropriately. I went from one extreme to the other. Before I was a Christian I fought (argued) too much, then after not enough (trying to fit into the 'anger is wrong' philosophy). Conflict avoidance will not produce harmony, but too much argumentation will damage the relationship. There are times and places to do this, but is it all too easy to put off dealing with these things until it is, in some sense, too late. Having said this, if both parties are willing, with God it is never too late. There is a lot that could be said here. Some will fight too much, others will stuff and deny. But anger denied and stuffed is still anger, and when you do this, what you (immediately) see many times is not what you get. When anger is not dealt with properly, it always comes out one way or the other. In particular, we all fall into habits we may not be fully aware of, but are nevertheless very destructive.

Suppressed anger can come out in punishing silences that are often obvious only to those being punished. What many people do not realize is that such silences can be just as abusive as verbal abuse. This is especially the case when the recipient is perhaps overly sensitive. And it can go very deep. It can also show up as control. I remember years ago standing with the wife of a certain couple, looking out onto the garden where the husband was pottering around. “He is mad with me today,” she told me, “but tomorrow he will come crawling.” In other words this lady's silences were not only punishing silences, they were controlling and manipulating silences.

Suppressed anger can also come out in cutting remarks, and/or belittling statements. It can be quite subtle. For example, saying to one's spouse in the hearing of others “You're a big boy (girl) now, why don't you …...”. And such words can be delivered with the softly spoken contempt “Why don't you grow up and be mature, like me” written clearly between the lines. Control, manipulation, withdrawal, subtly getting even, are all devastating to relationships. This is especially true of relationships that should be close (spouses/parents/authority figures). These things undermine the self worth of the one they are aimed at. I know that I feel undermined by such things! Often behaviour like this can be the very thing that keeps anger stirred up in the more volatile member. And the diabolical thing is that many times all of this is hidden. But not to God!

I am painfully aware that what I have just written could easily stir up some, who are reading this post, as it dawns on you that this sort of thing is very much a part of your own relationships. What I need to repeat here is that while we are not responsible for the behaviour and attitudes of others, we are responsible for our response to those attitudes and behaviours. There are many “games” that people play, and these games can provoke anger. But we do need, in our anger, to be “angry and sin not”.

And these things are very difficult to deal with. If you are on the receiving end of any of this, your partner may not want to hear about it, let alone deal with it. How many divorces started when one of the parties “woke up one day to realize …” and the other partner unwilling to even entertain the idea. The earlier these things are dealt with, the more likely they can be dealt with successfully. As I have said many times, there are always faults on both sides and we may well need help to be able to see these things and to hear each other. I like to suggest that couples make a covenant with each other at the very beginning, to the effect that if ever just one or the other of them feels the relationship needs help, then they agree in advance to go for it. The secret of peace in marriage is negotiation, and the best place to negotiate is at the foot of the cross (see July 31, 2011 post).

Prayer: Lord help me to know myself. If I am too angry help me not to minimize in my mind, its impact on others. If I am angry and unaware that I am angry please show me. Jesus in being angry and not sinning, You demonstrated that it is possible. Lord I need Your help to see things as they are, and to deal with them in a way that honours You and others. In Jesus name.

let those who suffer … commit their souls to Him ... as to a faithful Creator

We were talking last day of the negative power that our taking offense has, on our lives. We can thwart this by learning the habit of letting go before it starts. In the amplified Bible's version of James 1:19 we read “Let every man be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry”. It's good advice, and it's also good to not let the anger get a hold of you. But what do you do when this advice is too late, or the offense too deep?

Let me start by admitting that it is not easy at times to let go. But as I have said before, when I hold onto offenses I am the one who suffers the most, me and those I love (see “Don't get mad, get even and poison yourself and those you love” January 2011). And the ease of letting go does not seem to depend on how serious the offense is. At least it has not with me. Be the offense big or little, if I let it, it will go round and round and round in my mind, and stir up my heart.

As always we get our perspective (and our lives) back on track, by responding to Bible truth, allowing God to deal with the problem and/or show us our part in His way of dealing with it. “I have hidden Your Word in my heart that I might not sin against You” (Psalm 119:11). And when we are offended we are in grave danger of sinning against Him! In the end all sin is against God (see the context of Psalm 51:4). I am not of course responsible for the wrong others do to me, but I am responsible for wrong reactions to the wrong done! And with all of us, the tendency when offended, is for us to strut around self-righteously, to seek ways to take revenge, or to nurse and feed our hurt and anger. And these things are always destructive.

So firstly, I need to read again (for example) “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay” (Romans 12:19). There is a similar thought here as in the title of the post from 1 Peter 4:19. God is faithful, He is just, He will sort it out if we let Him and if we give Him space. This may not be immediate, and it may not be in the way our revenge thinking wants Him to, but His ways are always best. That is why we need to commit our ways to Him, and to not take things out of His hand. Part of taking the shield of faith (Ephesians 4:16) is to believe that His ways are indeed best. When we reject the devil's ways like this, we extinguish his fiery darts!

Secondly, we never have all the facts, and so we will never be able to fully discern what is going on. In a trial, the defense and the prosecution take biased positions. In this way both sides of the coin are presented to an impartial jury. But if we act as prosecution, Judge and Executioner, we will not be impartial, we will not be just, it is not within our nature.

Jesus was aware of all of this when He told the parable of the unforgiving servant (Matthew 18: 23-35). The NIV estimates the debt of the first servant at ten million dollars. The master forgave him the debt, but then this same servant, who was owed an estimated twenty dollars by another man, refused to forgive him. Hard as it may sound (and sometimes it is very hard), we are being told that when we don't forgive, we are like the unforgiving servant. Again hard as it might sound, the parable ends with the lesson “This is how my Heavenly Father will treat you unless you each forgive your brother from your heart” (verse 35).

The unforgiving servant was blind to the injustice and the inconsistency of his actions. Similarly most of the time we don't see or feel the depth of our own offenses against God. I believe it would crush us if we saw and understood, as God does, even a small fraction of our sin and selfishness. It is His mercy that we do not. But the occasions when I have caught a glimpse of my sin, have been enough for me. I am not talking about some guilt trip someone else laid on me, I am talking about the genuine conviction of the Holy Spirit (John 16:8). We have no idea. Its part of our denial and self defense. We cannot live 24/7 under heavy conviction. The scriptures tell us that on that day (the day we will be called to give an account of our lives) the unrepentant will feel this conviction so heavily that they will call out for the rocks to fall on them (Revelation 6:16). Unless we repent, we will be among them.

There are some practical things we can do, in this process of letting go. And many times it is a process. We have been given powerful weapons which, when we learn to use them, will allow us to “bring every thought captive to the obedience to Jesus Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:4-6). So firstly, we can take authority over out thought life, in Jesus name. I do it all the time. Secondly as part of “committing our souls to our Faithful God”, we can “pour out our complaint before Him” (Psalm 142:2). A big part of my way of doing this, is to journal. Often is it in the form of a letter. But this needs to be but one stage of pouring it out to Him. I then need to spread what I have written out before the Lord (for the principle see 2 Kings 19:14).

This writing letters can be both good or bad. Usually the letter I write is written to the one who offended me, not to the Lord. Writing the letter to the offended one is bad in this sense, “talking” to the offender in our hearts and minds is part of being stuck, and is dangerous in the sense that it can finish up stirring us up even more. For me though, this form of journaling is just part of the process. What getting it out does, is to help me stop it from going round and round in my mind. As long as it is still only in my mind, I might forget the “brilliance” of what I want to say to this person :). But if this is all I do, it is not good.

It is good if I then go on to “spread it out before the Lord,” committing my soul and my cause to Him. I then leave it for a couple of days (most times). This way I have probably sent one in a hundred of the letters I have written. Two or three days later I usually, through this process, have my thought life, and my emotions under control, and thus be more willing to let God deal with it. There needs to be closure though. Some recommend burning (printing and burning and expunging it from your computer). This symbolic purging can be very powerful in helping to put it in the past.

Most of the one in a hundred letters I sent, I was supposed to send, but not all of them. As I say it can be hard to let go. Most of the mistakes were because I was too impatient, and acted too soon. After a while you learn what is, and is not of Him. In the beginning, you will likely only realize you should not have sent it, when it's too late! It's all part of learning to hear His voice (John 10:4 – see also September 4, 2010), and choosing to walk in obedience. Learning to discern what is of the Lord is a process, and takes practice. One of the things we need to do, if we send such a letter, is to make sure that we are speaking truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). If we cannot say what we need to say in love, we are not yet ready to send it.

Another problem about letting go, is that it is very easy to give it over to the Lord, and them (almost) immediately take it back again. As soon as we realize that we have done this, we need to give it back to Him, and to do this over and over until it sticks. Like all new habits, it can take some time to get into the grove of it. In the past obsessive thought patterns were something of a stronghold with me, and even now I can find myself needing to read the sort of thing I am writing today to remind me of both the principles and the help that is available.

One of the good things about the difficulties that come my way these days, is that they drive me back to Him. I have learned to take the time to wrestle things through: to wrestle back into the peace, back into the joy, back into closeness to Him (see Philippians 4:4-9). I find it helps to worship Him, to think about how Jesus dealt with opposition, hypocrisy and betrayal. I want to be like Him, He is so wise and kind, and He tells it like it is when it is necessary. I need, His peace and courage and wisdom and love. Grant it Lord. In Jesus' Name.

Isolate, agitate destroy – the power of offense

I had forgiven him and he had forgiven me, but then out of the blue he stopped talking to me again. When I asked him why, he basically told me that it was better this way. I intuited that he had been meditating on my previous offenses. The Scripture tells me “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men” (Romans 12:18).

We probably both felt we had gone the second mile, but how many extra miles can you go before it becomes obvious that it is counterproductive? Part of what the verse says to me, is that it is not always possible to live at peace with others. It takes two to reconcile, but just one can force a standoff! I had to learn the hard way, that I cannot make up for what the other party is not willing to give. But this is not what I want to talk about today. You see, I can see that this man is deeply hurting (and not just from me), that he is isolated and that the Evil one is using the offense taken to keep him wounded, and ultimately to take him down. I feel more sad than mad, sad for him, he is not a happy man. The Scripture talks about not being ignorant of the devices of the Devil (2 Corinthians 2:11), but it seems to me that he takes many of us in, like this.

One of his devices is most certainly the strategy “divide and conquer.” He is desperate to do this, since “Two are better than one ... For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up” (Ecclesiastes 4:9,10). He loves to isolate us, stir us up against each other and then take us down. When we allow ourselves to be offended (and lets face it there is lots of opportunity) then we cannot hear one another, we stay stuck in our misunderstandings, false conclusions jumped to and our judgemental attitudes. We grow in resentment and bitterness. We will not walk in the Joy of the Lord while we do this. We need to wake up to the fact that when we find ourselves stuck in this way, we have allowed ourselves to be robbed by the enemy of our souls. It is the exact opposite of what we are commanded, for we are to be “kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).

I was stuck like this for a long time, too long to allow myself to be there anymore. I want the abundant life promised me, not the destruction left to me when I allow the thief to kill and to steal and destroy (John 10:10). Lord show me the what, the when and the how of my part in “as much as lies within me, to live at peace with all.” In Jesus Name.

“Without God man cannot. Without man God will not”

In John 15:5 Jesus makes this statement “Without me, you can do nothing”. Most of us would be inclined to argue with Him about that. I could think, for example, about building a tower out of lego blocks, while telling Him to keep out! You could argue of course that He is the one who gives me the breath to breath while I am doing that, and that if He withdrew that breath I would fail. And that of course is true. Is that what He means? I don't think so.

The passage from John 15 is all about abiding in Him. The full text of verse 5 is this “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing”. I think that what He is telling us that anything we might do or plan outside of partnership with Him will have no eternal fruit, it will not matter in light of eternity, it will be empty, vain and fruitless.

I was speaking with a dear friend of mine on New Year's eve. My friend is in an incredibly difficult ministry. I know that I would not be able to do what he does (I am not in fact called to it the same way he is). There were some things that happened in his ministry over the Christmas season which would bring most of us down. As we talked, I felt the Lord popping a verse into my mind as an encouragement to him and to me. I have found that when we do things His way, the things we do to help or encouragement others is always a two way street, in that in ministering we are in turn ministered to.

The verse was this “Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as you know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 15:58). There are a couple of things to note here. It is labour in the Lord that is not in vain. Outside of Him it is all vanity, 'blowing in the wind', 'snowballs in hell'. It is building our house on sand. The second thing is to observe that “we know”. How do we know? Well He has promised. He who abides in me bears much fruit. It may not be immediate (how long after you plant an apple seed will you get apples?), it may not be obvious to us, but it is a principle “our labour in the Lord is not in vain", it is not. Knowing this, is part of what we need to carry on, to not give up, to hang in there when the going gets tough.

So then in Him, abiding in Him, in partnership – in living ongoing relationship – in seeking and obeying and in following Him we are fruitful. But without Him we can do nothing of value. Without God man cannot.

But there is another thought in the title of the post "Without man God will not". Such a statement is not without controversy in the body of Christ. It provokes the “Sovereignty of God and the free will of man” debate. My simple thoughts on this start with the question “Which god is more sovereign, more powerful, a god who can choose to limit himself, or a god who does not have this ability?” I believe that God has chosen to limit himself in many (but not in all) ways. So part of what I am saying it that the statement “without man God will not” is too simplistic. God can and does and will act in sovereign ways. On the other hand, I believe that many times He chooses not to act when we refuse (or otherwise choose not) to cooperate with Him. This means that our labour in the Lord is not only not in vain, it is significant. We have this ability to bear fruit, but if we do not cooperate the fruit will not be forthcoming. This does two things. As I already said it makes what we do significant, but secondly it lays on us the responsibility to labour in the Lord.

We cannot all have ministries (in the here and now) that impact the nations. But we are not all called to impact the nations. Perhaps you are called to pray faithfully for your children, to serve faithful in this or that role in the church and/or in the community. What is certain, is that you are the only Bible some people will read. Our roles may not be significant in the eyes of the World (or even of other Christians), but our true significance is not to be found there. Our true significance is to be found in the eyes of the Lord, in being faithful to the calling to which He has called us.

In the parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14-30), it was the one who had the least number who failed, and he failed because he did not use what he had. To succeed all he needed to do was to put the one talent in the bank at interest. What area of faithfulness is the Lord calling you to? What area is He calling me to? Whatever it is, we need to be steadfast and immovable always abounding in this work, knowing that this labour it not in vain. It is not. Hallelujah!

God forbid that we should loose our sense of mystery

We live in a rational and rationalistic world. They have tried to tell us “Reason is the unique pathway to knowledge.” It's a lie. Do you know love by logic? If the only way you know love is by logic, then you are of all people most miserable. Though love is much more than feeling, if we have never felt loved, if we have never experienced love, we are poor indeed.

We brought in the new year last night singing Christmas Carols, and Christmas songs. One request was for “Mary did you know.” The Lord was breathing on this as we worshiped Him in and through this song. I am getting goose bumps as I think on it, because my thinking on it brought me again into His presence. It happened as I listen to it on the internet and sang it to Him. “Mary did you know that this child that you delivered, will soon deliver you”. How many times have we allowed Christmas to pass us by, and not really enter into the real meaning of it? I was determined this year that I would not do this, so we spent our last two meetings reading, meditating and thinking on the mystery of it all. How does one explain the star" It moves! Stars don't move. This can move you to skepticism, but when you believe it with the eyes of faith it will cause you to wonder. Many, even in the Church have stopped believing in miracles. However when (as I have) you have been used to open the ears of a man who was 80% deaf when, in Jesus name you commanded him to be whole, you know that that is nonsense. So do I believe the “star moved”? Yes. Was it a literal star? I don't know, probably not, but what do I know? With God all things are possible. Was it the Shekinah Glory going before them? Maybe. Whatever it was, clearly the best way to describe it was “star.” I will not allow my puny mind to limit God to my ability to explain Him or what He does!

Though we are to love the Lord with all our mind, we must not worship the mind as if reason and logic is all there is. When we banish mystery from our thinking we impoverish our trinitarian souls. We are body, soul and spirit, not mind, mind and mind. Unless you become as a little child .... My grandson's most often used phrase is “I have a question”. Do we know it all, have we arrived in our theology? Even the secular world knows we can never arrive. To slightly misquote Shakespeare “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your theology”. Its Biblical too for “And if anyone thinks that he knows anything, he knows nothing yet as he ought to know” (1 Corinthians 8:2).

For me though, the “goosiest” of the phrases (the one that give me the most goose bumps) in 'Mary did you know' is the last two lines:

Did you know that your baby boy was heaven's perfect lamb
This sleeping child you're holding is the great "I AM"

I mean the Creator of the Universe emptying Himself and pouring Himself into a tiny helpless baby? Unfathomable! What I do know however is that God so loved me that He sent His Son for me. He send His Son for you. He is crazy about me, He is crazy about you. This morning I cried out to Him “I want to know you more Lord, I want to experience more of your embrace. Do not leave me as I am, take away from me every hindrance that keeps me from desperation for You. Take me deeper this year Father, deeper into Your heart and Your Kingdom. Please ruin me for anything but Yourself. Give me back my wonder and child likeness in Jesus name".