Conflict intimacy and the cross (III) Confession

In my relationships, both with the Lord and with those in the here and now, I find it is easier, if I take the initiative in dealing with issues. I mean “Whom the Lord loves He disciplines” (Hebrews 12:6), but I find it goes better if I confess before I need to be disciplined. And if I need to surrender something to Him, it’s better that I do it sooner rather than later! He will have his way in the end! In a similar way if I confessed my faults in a genuine way, to those with whom I am in close relationship (James 5:16), then we may not need to engage in iron sharpening iron scenarios (Proverbs 27:17). The iron sharpening iron always sounded painful to me, and it is. But there is a promise associated with our confessing our faults one to another, and it is that we will be healed (James 5:16 again). Part of that healing of course, is in terms of a deeper intimacy.

It is been my observation, that most of us think that we have a normal childhood, and this can be the case even when it is severely dysfunctional. I remember making this statement to someone who whose family had suffered widespread sexual abuse from the father. And I remember her nodding in agreement! So what I am saying here, is that a lot of our faults are hidden even from, and perhaps especially from, ourselves. In particular if those faults have been in the family generation after generation, then part of what needs to happen, is that we need to come to terms with the fact that not only me, but others in the family have these same faults too. Admitting this can be difficult, because it may be against the family rules, such as “You don’t criticize mother!” And we can be punished for going against family rules!

So what do we need to do? Well, as in our relationship with the Lord, it is better to deal with things sooner, rather than later. I have found, that we often give nonverbal clues that something is wrong. This may be subtle or not-so-subtle such as when somebody is angry and does not try to herd hide it. The question “Is something bothering you” can be helpful. But in any case, in order to increase in intimacy, we need to develop a history of giving and taking criticism well. In particular in giving and receiving it gently, lovingly and in humility. But even better, is when we with His help figure our part in it all and then “fess up!” Most of us have a long way to go! But it is the way of the cross, and in danger of being repetitive, it is the promised way to healing (James 5:16 again).

Father, Your Word tells us that in many things we all fail, and in the context of this statement, James is specifically speaking about the tongue! He tells us, that if someone does not sin with his tongue, the same is a perfect man (James 3:2,3). And of course not one of us is perfect. So I come to You again this morning Lord, to obtain mercy, and grace to help especially in these difficult relational issues (Hebrews 4:16). Thank You again this morning Lord that You are actively at work behind all of these things for my good, to make me like Jesus, and to make me fruitful for the Kingdom (Romans 8:28, 29). You deserve all the honour and the glory and praise, I give it to You again this morning Lord in Jesus Name Amen.

Conflict intimacy and the cross (II) Disclosure

I was reminded this morning a sons I heard a child. One of the lines was “Two lovely black eyes, oh what a surprise, only for telling a gal she was wrong, two lovely black eyes!” Clearly this gal had an anger problem, but like most of us, she either did not like being told she was wrong. Psychologists call it a defense mechanism, and they say the best form of defense is attack. Actually we come by this honestly, since from the very beginning we played the blame game. In particular when Adam was confronted with his sin, his response was “The woman You gave.” In other words it’s the woman’s fault, and actually it’s Your fault too God, because You are the one who gave her to me!

It seems to be very common at the breakup of the marriage for both parties to blame the other 100% for what went wrong. I certainly did at the breakup of my first marriage. We see each other’s faults so very clearly, but are so blind to our own. As for me, when I look at myself I don’t seem to have any faults! But then I have to ask myself ”Can I be the only one without faults, or am I blind too?” In fact, a big part of my journey to becoming a Christian was being shown that I was anything but innocent. And as I was saying yesterday the enemy intends conflict for evil, but God intends it for our good. In particular, if we come together at the foot of the cross in humility and obedience, then the Lord will use it to forge an unbreakable intimate bond between us.

It never ceases to amaze me how blind we seem to be to our faults, Christians included! I have even heard Christians say that a Christian cannot be deceived! But if that were the case, why would we be told to take care lest it happen (Galatians 6:7). The Scripture tells us that the heart is deceitful above all and desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:9). And since the Scriptures to not lie, if we don’t see it, then it just goes to show how deceived we are! So what I am saying this morning, is that part of the humility that we need to to exhibit at the foot of the cross, is being willing to be shown our faults. And who knows my faults better than my partner? So we need to come to the place where we are willing to be shown, but of course we need to do it in gentleness, meekness and humility and with grace (Galatians 6:1). And the foot of the cross is the right place to do this, for it is there we see that “There is no difference, for all have sinned and come short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).

Father, as in our relationship with You, it’s much less painful if we admit our faults first, rather than having to have You or others tell us. So this morning I come to You again and pray “Search my heart of God to see if there be any wicked way within me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 134:24). Thank You Lord that you have told us that if we confess our sins, You are faithful and just, not only to forgive us, but also to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). And once again with Your help I will put to death the deeds and the desires of the flesh, and give You all the honour and glory and praise Jesus Name Amen

Conflict, intimacy and the cross (I) Humility

I was saying last day that a deep and intimate relationship cannot be established without a period of conflict or mutual suffering. I also said that what needs to happen when we find ourselves in conflict, is that we need to come together in humility, to the foot of the cross. In the light of the cross, our suffering, being misunderstood, being falsely accused, judged and rejected, these things all come sharply into perspective. The Scripture admonishes us, for example, to “consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself.... You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin. (Hebrews 12:3,4). Resisting unto bloodshed of course, is talking about martyrdom, and if you are reading this, then you have not yet been martyred! We also read “When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats” (1 Peter 2:23).

I am not suggesting that we return to situations that are unsafe, but I am thinking about situations where in our overreactions we can take on a martyr complex, a victim mentality. In such situations, the “victim” needs to be “the better person.” In other words like Jesus, we need to not retaliate or make threats. We need to remember our propensity to make the other person’s faults bigger, and our own smaller. It’s part of our fallen human nature! And we need to stop jumping to conclusions, thinking that we know very well what the other person’s motives are, and judging them accordingly. A Christian counselor I know told me one time “When we are in conflict, both know only about 10% of the truth.“

At the foot of the cross, when we are both seeking as much as is possible within us to live at peace with the other (Romans 12:18), we come to the place where we can gently tell each other what is bothering us. Someone I know and love told me one time “I didn’t realize how selfish I was until I got married.” As I have said before, I am convinced that marriage is one of God’s primary tools to make us more like Christ. But we have to submit to one another (Ephesians 5:21), we need to give each other the benefit of the doubt, and to start the process of regarding others more highly than we think of ourselves (Philippians 2:3). We at least need to start treating the other this way! This is what was happening with the above “someone” and her husband. The fact of the matter is, that we are all selfish at heart, and it is only through conflict that our hidden negative traits can be brought to the surface, where they can be dealt with. There are many helps available for conflict resolution! We need to take advantage of them.

Father, what I am saying this morning is so far from our natural human way of doing things, that it is virtually impossible. It is however possible, with a lot of help from You. And I want to thank you again this morning Lord that such help is indeed available. We simply need to come boldly before the throne of grace to obtain mercy and the grace to help (Hebrews 4:15, 16). Lord I want to ask You to help me this morning to start to see others as You see them. For You see them with all their faults covered by the blood, and the real treasure of who they are in You, shining through. With You Lord even this is possible, and I want to thank You again this morning in Jesus Name Amen

A deep and intimate relationship cannot be established without a period of conflict or mutual suffering

This seems to be true even of our relationship with God. The Biblical heroes of the faith exemplify this. I can think of the suffering of David and Joseph, and of Jacob wrestling with God (Genesis 32:22-31). It does take two. For God’s part, He is always willing, and so in terms of our relationship with Him, it is all about our willingness to take up our cross and follow Him (Romans 12:18). In terms of earthly relationships we are admonished as much as is possible to live at peace with each other (Romans 12:18). It may not be possible! I or the other person may be too wounded, or feel too betrayed, or it may not be safe! One or the other of us may not be ready to make the necessary changes. We may not be willing to humble ourselves and come together to the foot of the cross where we see that there is no difference, for all have sinned and come short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). It does as I say, take two!

We need to know that wrestling through our conflicts, is Kingdom work. The Lord has told us clearly in His Word, that His primary purpose in the World, is the reconciliation of all things, both things in heaven and on earth (Ephesians 1:10). Is it any wonder that this is hard, especially when you consider that the Evil One has an agenda to kill, steal and destroy (John 10:10a). And he has a lot of ammunition, I mean not one of us is perfect, not by a long shot! And given our propensity to blame, to minimize our own faults, and to maximize the other person’s, it is far too easy the focus our attention on the shortcomings of the other. Those pesky “irreconcilable differences” that are so often used as an excuse to give up, these excuses, and they are excuses, hide our unwillingness to engage in the process of being sharpened as iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17). In other words a lot of it is essentially conflict avoidance!

And part of the reason it is so hard, is that it is so unfair. I mean in light of what I said above, we are likely to be assigned a disproportional share of the blame, and misunderstandings and false accusations are likely to be made. Words can be spoken in haste that cannot be taken back. The Evil One is likely to whisper judgemental statements into our hearts, and when we are hurt, we are far more likely to embrace both his judgement (he is the accuser of the brethren Revelation 12:10) as well as his lies (he is the father of lies John 8:44). But what the enemy means for evil, God means it for our good (Genesis 50:20). And if we let Him, He will use it to form an unbreakable bond. It seems to be a law, that the greater the conflict, the greater potential for bonding. We do need to overcome, for it to be a stage, a period, for the conflict to not last forever. And at the risk of becoming boring, that takes two too!

Father, it seems that the closer I get to You, the more painful are the relationships that remain unhealed. And I’m thinking Lord, that this is part of the fellowship of Your sufferings (Philippians 3:10). We need Your help Lord to persevere, I do! But I want to thank You again this morning Lord for Your precious promise that You truly are working all things together for my good, and You are making me more like Jesus, and more fruitful for the Kingdom (Romans 8:28, 29). And I choose this morning again Lord, to take up my cross and to follow You. I need your Grace to do this, but I thank You that Your grace is so readily available in and through Jesus Christ in whose Name I pray Amen

Contending with Heaven for Kingdom legal rights

I was talking last day about the legal rights that we have as Christians, and I was using Proverbs 16:7 as an illustration, where we can claim to have our enemies to be at peace with us. There is a lot of talk in our day about rights, and while some of these are certainly legitimate, a lot of it is all about the “I, me, my” type of right. And there is a natural clash among these type of rights. For example which right trumps the other in my son’s right to play his drums at 3 o’clock in the morning, and my right to a peaceful nights sleep?

But we are not talking about this kind of right this morning, we are talking about Kingdom rights. Kingdom rights have Kingdom values, Kingdom priorities with Kingdom outcomes. The Christian for example has the legal right to life in all its fullness. We know this, because Jesus told us that that is why he came (John 10:10b). But again, as I pointed out yesterday obtaining our rights is not automatic. In particular as the first part of this verse clearly tells us, we have an enemy whose agenda is to kill, steal and to destroy. In fact we are in a war to the death with the enemy of our souls! We do have weapons, the weapons of righteousness on the right hand and on the left. These weapons include purity, knowledge, longsuffering, kindness, sincere love all of which is mediated by the power of God within us (2 Corinthians 6:6,7).

But the weapon that is uppermost on my mind this morning, is faith. With faith, we are able to quench all the fiery darts of the evil one (Ephesians 6:16). And a huge part of this faith, concerns knowing who I am in Christ. And it seems to me this morning, that the battle to move the knowledge of who I am in Christ from my head into my heart, to my experience, is the most important battle of all. The point is that when I truly know my identity in Christ, then I know my authority in Christ, and I am able to confidently claim the legal Kingdom rights that He purchased for me when He died on the cross. In particular, I can stand against the wiles of the devil, and I can tear down strongholds!

Father, Your church has hardly begun to take up our legal Kingdom rights, the Kingdom power and the authority that You purchased for us on Calvary. It’s a journey Lord, but we are not alone, and You have not finished with us yet! You have given us Your Holy Spirit to comfort, strengthen and encourage us. And with Paul this morning, I pray for myself and all those reading this blog, that You would give us a spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of whom we are in You (Ephesians 1:17). We need to see it Lord, we need to feel it, we need to know Your presence and Your peace, and Your power, and Your authority at work in us. We cannot do this without You Lord, I cannot. But with You all things are possible. Thank You Lord for Your promise that You will build your church on the rock of our faith, and the gates of hell will not prevail against it (Matthew 16:18). We believe help our unbelief in Jesus Name Amen

When a man’s ways please the LORD, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him

In a discussion last night, we were talking about the legal rights we have as Christians. And it struck me this morning, that this verse from Proverbs 16:7 illustrates this rather well. But let's first look at it negatively. In Hebrews 12:15 we read “See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” So when we fail to tap into the grace of God, and hold bitterness and resentment and unforgiveness in our heart, then we give the enemy the legal right to defile not only our own lives, but the lives of those we love! It gives him the right as it were, to circumvent our armour (see Ephesians 6:13- 18).

So in the same way we give the enemy legal rights, when our ways please the Lord, we can claim the legal right of this principle we are discussing this morning. Now of course no one is perfect. But we can claim this right when we are walking with the Lord and seeking to deal with the things in our lives that trip us up. This is what pleases the Lord! I am reminded of a situation years ago, where a man was using another person for his own at agenda. And because this was destructive, I essentially exposed what was going on. After that for a long time, there was a lot of tension and from him much hostility and opposition. Eventually however, the Lord brought a cessation of hostilities, and we were able to live in relative peace.

My legal right however entitles me to much more than this. First of all the peace that the Bible talks about is much more than a cessation of hostilities. It is wholeness and completeness of life, it is health and even intimacy in relationships. However, as with all legal rights in the here and now, the existence of a legal right does not automatically mean that we obtained the fullness of those rights. We may have to contend for them! As in the natural, so in the spiritual. Now the place where we need to contend for these rights, is in the throne room of God. It’s not about my pressuring or manipulating or persuading the other person, though it may involve some of this at times. No rather it is contending in prayer, prevailing upon the Lord to come through for me in what the Word of God promises. From God’s point of view, He is wanting me to contend for my inheritance and destiny, and for fullness of life. It’s about bonding with Him. It’s about learning who I am in Him. It’s about learning to step into the authority of the believer. This contending is kingdom work!

Father, I thank you for the firstfruits of this legal right that You gave to me all those years ago. The firstfruits of course, promise more fruit later. Relationships are difficult Lord, but they are part of what You want to use to refine us, and to make us more like Jesus. It is iron sharpening iron, it is learning to be a valiant warrior with the weapons of our warfare, the weapons of love and grace and peace and hope and joy. I want to thank You again this morning Lord for Your Word, for the many principles and promises and legal rights that You give us in and through it. And I want to ask for myself and for all reading these posts, that You give us the grace and the wherewithal to push through, to claim all of our inheritance in the here and now, and the rewards in the hereafter. And I give You all the honour and glory and praise again this morning Lord in Jesus name amen

Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with his mother

The picture given in this verse from Psalm 131:2, is of a child who with the mother’s help, has got past the “I want what I want and I want it now" demanding stage, to the place where he is at peace because he has learned to trust that his needs will be met. It is a picture of contentment, security and intimacy. The main thing that comes to mind this morning as I meditated upon this verse, is the part that the Psalmist has played in the quietening and calming of his soul.

What we see many times in the Psalms, is that the Psalmist counsels and instructs himself. So for example “Why are you cast down, O my soul? .... Hope in God” (Psalm 42:11), or “Soul wait silently for God” (Psalm 62:5). Here the Psalmist not only counsels himself, but brings himself into calm, comfort and quietness. It is something that we need to learn, but as a weaned child with his mother, we do have help. In particular, the mother needs to do, is to not immediately give in to the kicking and screaming and fussing of the child. When she does this well, the child will eventually make a choice to trust that she not only knows all his needs (as opposed to wants), but will in time fulfill them. Likewise we need to stop fussing, and trust that He will fulfill His promised to supply all our needs according to His riches in glory (Philippians 4:19).

And when I am fussing, or in danger of fussing, I need to take time out, and to find a quiet place. If that is not possible I need to learn to tune out everything but Him. Then for me there are two ways. One that I have done for a long time is to work a passage I learned by heart such as Philippians 4:3-7, to work it and then claim the promise at the end, namely that the peace of God that passes all understanding will guide my heart and mind. More recently I have been putting myself, in my mind’s eye (my imagination), into certain passages of scripture. So I see the Shepherd gently placing His hand on me, causing me to lie down in the green pasture. I also “see” myself being lead by still waters (Psalm 23:2), and I am calmed!

Father, I want to thank You this morning for Your Word which is living and powerful, and through which You do indeed enable me to calm and quiet my soul. In the end it is Your peace and Your quiet that You have made available to us. I am not saying I have arrived Lord, but I want to pray for anyone reading this, this morning, who is having difficulty with quieting their soul. Thank You Lord that we can not only have peace with God, but we can have the peace of God (Romans 5:1; Philippians 4:7) in Jesus Name Amen

In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul

The anxieties of which the Psalmist is speaking in this quote from Psalm 94:19, concern the state of his world. They concern the triumph of the wicked (verse 3), their boastful brutality (verses 4, 6), their oppression to the people of God (verse 5) etc., etc. The Psalmist knows however, that there is coming a time when he will be able to rest from all of this (verse 13), and that one day righteousness will rule (verse 15). In the meantime, the Psalmist knows the Lord will hold him up lest his foot slip, and that it would indeed have slipped unless it had been for Him (verses 17, 18).

The psalmist could be writing about today! There are indeed a multitude of things that can cause anxiety in this upside down world where evil is called good, and good evil. Where darkness is called light, and light is called darkness (Isaiah 5:20). However, like the psalmist, we can take comfort in knowing that the Lord will reverse all of this, and that righteousness will reign. In the meantime, we need to remind ourselves that the Lord is not slack concerning His promise … but is longsuffering .... not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance (2 Peter 3:9). And it is His goodness and forbearance that will lead those who repent, to repentance (Romans 2:4).

The Lord was reminding me this morning, that I have not believed cunningly devised fables (2 Peter 1:16). Part of what He was reminding me is the consistency and unity of the salvation message that permeates each and every one of the sixty six books of His Word. This unity, shines through the diversity of times and seasons, and culture and literary genre and the multitude of authors. This unity in diversity is part of the substance of what we have believed, the evidence of things unseen (Hebrews 11:1). They are also part of the comforts (plural), that brought me comfort again this morning, they allowed my soul to overcome my anxious thoughts, and to come back to peace.

Father, I want to thank You for Your comforts this morning, but You did not leave it there! As I left to come to the office, the sun was rising and I sensed You “waving” to me through a glorious sunrise. The word “delight” came to me, together with the promise that if I delight myself in You, You will give me the desires of my heart (Psalm 37:4). And You in turn delight to do this Lord, because when I delight myself in You, my desires are right. The words from the song also came to mind “Though the wrong seems oft so strong, God is the ruler yet!” And I praise and bless and thank You again this morning Lord, in Jesus Name Amen

Whoever looses his life for Me will find it (II)

I am at the age when those who I have known for half a century or more our starting, in the natural course of events, to die. Some of them know the Lord, but some likely do not, and for me this is tough stuff! In addition to wondering whether I could have done more, said more, lived more of a life that adorned the gospel, is the underlying reminder of my own mortality. Also difficult, is the pressure of our society to say nothing, since much of it regards even a remote reference to God at a time like this, as a guilt trip. But the truth of the matter is, that these things are so much easier to deal with when you know where you are going. And I do know where I am going!

In fact I have the assurance from the Lord himself who told me that since I have heard His Word and put my trust in Him (the Father) who sent Him (Jesus), then I already have everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but have passed from death into life (John 5:24). And so I need wisdom, boldness, compassion and love to speak or be silent, when I attend a funeral, where most who will be there have no confession of knowing the Lord.

And the verse at the head of this post from Luke 9:24 speaks to me again this morning as I deal with the mixed feelings of grief, guilt and anxiety for those who do not know the Lord. The point is, that if I am to deal with these things in a functional way, then I need to live in the reality of the paradox that those who loose their life for Him actually find it. It’s about living on earth, but seated in heaven (Ephesians 2:6), it’s about my life being hidden in Christ (Colossians 3:3) so that what I see and hear and do is mediated through the prism of my moment by moment connection with Him.

Father, it’s hard to love as You love. And because it is so hard, it would be easy to either pretend that I don’t care, or to actually come to the place where I don’t! And I am caught again this morning Lord, between wanting to be where You are where there is no more death, or sorrow or pain (Revelation 21:4), and knowing that I have not yet completed the work You have for me to do in the here and now. Please help me again this morning Lord, to live in the tension of losing my life in order that I may gain life and in doing so bring life to others. And I give You all the honour and glory and praise again Jesus in Name Amen

Whoever looses his life for Me will find it

This quote from Luke 9:24 is the last part of one of the so called hard saying of Jesus. The full quotation is “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.” It’s really about letting go! Whenever we put something or someone above the Lord in our lives, it will, in the end diminish us. For example if we put mother, or father or husband or wife above the Lord, then when we lose them it breaks our heart. I have already said in other posts, that when we love Jesus as our first priority, we will love others more than if we put them above Him. I'm not saying that we should not love our spouse, indeed we are commanded to! It’s about holding onto what is temporal loosely.

I was reminded this morning of the Stockdale Paradox. Stockdale was an admiral captured during the Vietnam War and imprisoned and tortured for eight years. He survived, many of his fellow prisoners did not. There were similarities and differences, the similarities were that they all confronted the brutal reality of their situation. They did not deny the reality of what was happening. The main difference, was that the others would set deadlines, maintaining that they would get out by Christmas, then Easter, the fall, and then Christmas again. And their hopes were dashed as each deadline came and went, and each such non-event was accompanied by an ever more broken heart, and they eventually lost the will to live. Stockdale on the other hand, while he never lost hope that in the end he would be released, did not set artificial deadlines, and so was not devastated when they did not happen!

I have been waiting over twenty one years for the fulfillment of a promise the Lord has given me. In the beginning I was doing exactly what Stockdale’s fellow prisoners were doing, setting deadlines. And it was true, as each deadline came and went, my heart became more and more wounded. But then finally I learned to let go and let God. They say what doesn’t kill you strengthens you. There was a real sense in which I was fighting for my life, and I had to essentially lose it (let go and let God), before I could find it. The key, at least for me, seemed to be to while confronting the brutal reality of the situation, at the same time clinging to the sure hope of the promises of God, and leaving the timing up to Him. It is indeed something of a paradox, but I have learned to trust that while He is never early, He is never late! Praise his name!

Father, it seems that Stockdale because of the way that he handled things, did not suffer from a broken heart. But I did! And I know for certain Lord, that if it had not been for You I too would’ve died of a broken heart. But Lord You came to heal the brokenhearted (Luke 4:18), and You do when we cry out to You and surrender to You. Thank You for your healing barm, thank You for Your amazing mercy, thank You for Your sustaining power and love and grace and peace and hope and joy in Jesus Name Amen

But godliness with contentment is great gain

The context of this quote from 1 Timothy 6:6 is, of course, Paul’s letter to Timothy. Timothy clearly has the basic necessities of life, in particular food and clothing with which, Paul says “we will be content” (verse 8). In this same context Paul gives the well known saying that the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil (verse 10 NKJV). It is the love of it that is the problem, and when one loves money, rather than there being great gain, there is great temptation to stray from the faith, and in doing so be pierced through with many sorrows (verse 10). As I write this morning, the pot of Lotto Canada has reached one billion dollars, and ticket sales are up, really up! A friend of mine says about this, that it is a tax on the foolish! They were saying on TV that you have a better chance of being struck by lightening! Good luck!

But we can have overcome the deceitfulness of riches and still not be content. Other things that can rob our peace are the cares of this world, and the desires for other things (Mark 4:19). In particular worry, or envy, or bitterness or impatience, any of these things can rob us our peace and joy. Paul could declare “I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content” (Philippians 4:11), and I can say that I am learning. At some level I have great patience, waiting over twenty one years for Him to come through with what He has promised. On the other hand standing in line at the store the other day I allowed myself to become impatient. And before I knew it, my tone with the one serving me (when I eventually got there) was ungodly. It was perhaps understandable, but still inappropriate for an ambassador (2 Corinthians 5:20).

But I am learning! When I saw the reaction of the girl serving me I apologized to her. It really was not her fault, she was merely the recipient of the lightening bolts of mine and others frustration (I was not the only one who was impatient with her). I have learned not to beat myself up at such times. I used to be quite good at that! But I am learning to quickly obey His command to replace my frustration, or anger, or wounded pride with prayer and supplication with thanksgiving (Philippians 4:6). And in this way I soon return to the great gain of contentment. The sooner I obey, the sooner the peace returns (verse 7). After all it a promise!

Father, the thought comes to me again this morning, that in many things we all fail (James 3:2). Thank You that You are not disappointed with me when I fail, but You are faithful and just both to forgive and to cleanse me (1 John 1:9). While I am so aware that I have not yet arrived, I am learning to be content with progress. I am not what I want to be (I want to be like You), but I thank You this morning Lord, that I am not what I once was. Thank You Lord for Your patience with me, in Jesus Name Amen

Intimacy with God (XIII) Commitment

I cannot leave this series of blogs on intimacy with God, without meditating on our commitment to Him. Too often in this post Christian era, our commitment in earthly relationships has become “As long as we both shall love.” The admonition of the counsellor when the husband told him “I don’t love her anymore,” was ‘Love her!’ The husband replied that the councillor did not understand, he did not love her. The counsellor replied “I understand only too well, your feelings of love have died, but we believe in a God of resurrection, and love is resurrected through the process of obedience. And you are called to love your wife as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for her” (Ephesians 5:25). The point then, is that commitment is the vehicle that enables us to navigate the rough spots. It is the same in our relationship with God. The difference with our earthly relationships, is that He is never at fault, but that does not mean there will be no rough spots.

In fact, there are many things that trip us up (Mark 4:13-20). It is easy to be offended not only by what He allows, but also by what calls us to. Concerning being offended, we do not know the future. I have always wondered how I would react were I to loose a child. What I mean is that it is much easier to say that I am totally committed and will never be offended, than it is to be be that, the difficulty is in our walk matching our talk. This is one of the reasons why people hesitate to come to the Lord in the first place, they wonder if they will be able to live up to their commitment. But I cannot keep myself, all I can do is to commit as much as I know, and trust with Paul that “He is able to keep that which I have committed unto Him against that day” (2 Timothy 1:12). He is the One who gives grace to stand (Romans 5:2), we cannot do it without Him, I cannot. That is why I needed to get saved in the first place!

Concerning what He calls us to, He tells me “Take up your cross daily and follow Me” (Luke 9:23). The cross was and is, a symbol of suffering. He tells us “The servant is not grater than the master, if they persecuted me they will persecute you” (John 15:20). And what He calls us to can seem unreasonable, until we realize both the price he paid for our redemption, and our rescue from an eternal separation from God. In light of these things, as I have already said, the only reasonable thing is to present our bodies a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God (Romans 12:1). He could of course, take us out of the world the moment we get saved, but we are the salt of the earth, the light the world, and He intends that our lives reflect His glory in this way to attract the lost to Himself. He works all things together for our good, and in doing so makes us more like Christ, and we become the firstborn among many brethren (Romans 8:28, 29).

Father, I cannot live the Christian life without You, without a whole truckload of help from You. Thank you Lord, that You are able to save us to the uttermost, that is completely and perfectly (Hebrews 7:25). Your Word tells me that You are a consuming fire (Hebrews 12:29). But I know Lord, that the safest place is close to the flame. Thank You that You can save, and You can keep. You give me the very breath I breathe, You are my saviour, my Lord, my shelter, my strong tower, my deliverer, my sustainer, the One who empowers me. You are my all in all, and I love You and I give You thanks and praise again this morning in Jesus Name Amen

Intimacy with God (XII) Still more on friendship with God

Continuing my quest to gain insight about intimacy with God from insight on the subject of human intimacy, I picked up the following quote from the internet “When we're experiencing healthy intimacy, we'll tend to feel accepted or accepting, known or more knowing, valued just as the people we are, not because we did something important or something that someone wanted…” And it struck me that for His part the Lord has already put in place everything that is needed here! So starting with acceptance He tells us that we are accepted in the Beloved (in Christ Ephesians 1:6), and also that “the Father … has qualified us to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in the light” (Colossians 1:12). So then if we do not feel accepted, the problem is with us, and likely is related to the lies we have believed. In which case we need to replace the lies with the truth, and tell ourselves that we are accepted in the Beloved. And we need to tell ourselves over and over until we believe it, and then tell ourselves because we believe it!

About being known and knowing, the Psalmist declares “How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them, Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand" (Psalm 139:17,18). The omniscient all knowing God knows everything about us, the good the bad and the ugly and He loves us just the same. Concerning knowledge of our fascinating God, He desires that we seek and pursue Him with all that we are and have. As I have said before He hides for us, not from us, and we need to pray with Paul that He will give us the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him (Ephesians 1:17). When we seek Him with all our our hears, He delights to show Himself (Jeremiah 29:13). Bless His Holy name!

Concerning value, in monetary terms, the value a thing is precisely what someone is willing to pay for it. For you and I, we were bought with a price (1 Corinthians 6:20), and the price that was paid was the sacrificial death of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. At the store when I see a child in the shopping cart, I often ask the mother “How much is that one?” What I get back over and over is “Priceless.” But what has the child done to deserve this? Well it is not about what the child does or does not do, it is the fact that he or she is her child. And if a mother feels that way about her child, is it much of a stretch to believe that our Father feels the same way about you and I? No matter what the world may think of you, in His eyes you are priceless. As for me, when I am feeling rejected, I turn to Him and meditate on the fact that what He thinks about me trumps what you think about me every time!

Father, how precious indeed are Your thoughts towards me, and how affirming it is to bask in Your extravagant healing love, morning by morning as I come to You. And continuing Psalm 139:18 I know that “When I awake, I am still with You.” I know this for You have promised never to leave me nor forsake me (Hebrews 13:5). And I pray this morning Father, for all who are struggling to know and feel You in this way, and I want to affirm for them that You are far more willing to answer this prayer than they are to pray it. And I give You honour and glory and praise in Jesus Name Amen

Intimacy with God (XI) More on friendship with God

Since the marriage relationship is a primary analogy of our relationship with God (Ephesians 5:28-32), it seems appropriate to examine some of the components of what friendship in marriage looks like. Then of course we can apply them to our relationship with God. The marriage relationship can be healthy or unhealthy, descriptions of it range from dependence, independence, interdependence and codependence. Since the basis of Biblical teaching on these things starts with mutual submission (Ephesians 5:21), then the one that is the most healthy is interdependence. Interdependence can best be described as a relationship where each one chooses to surrender part of their independence for the sake of the health of the relationship, to choose, at some level, to depend on one another in love and honour.

There is a saying that seems relevant to our relationship with God. It is “Without God man cannot, without man God will not!” I like to think of this as God honouring and valuing our partnership so much, that unless and until we do our part in bringing His plans to pass, they will not happen! In particular, there are many things that happen, or don’t happen which can rightly be described as being outside of God’s perfect will. Of course since God is all-powerful and all-knowing, He could simply tweak things to make them right. But to switch analogies for a moment, like a loving father with his son, He comes alongside to encourage, to lead guide and direct. And He does not, like an impatient parent might, take things out of our hands in frustration fearing that we will mess up. I am not talking here about letting a child do something dangerous. But a wise parent knows that the child will likely learn more when he is not afraid of making mistakes. And this of course involves allowing him to make them at times!

In terms our relationship with God, the thing is that even when we mess up, He is able to redeem and restore our mistakes. And we will inevitably make mistakes because our hearing, and our obedience is not perfect! But when we do things His way, submitting our plans to Him in humility, we can trust in the proverb “ We humans keep brainstorming options and plans, but God’s purpose prevails” (Proverbs 19:21 MSG). Perhaps interdependence with God is not quite the right word, but words are inadequate, and I hope it’s clear what I’m trying to say. Perhaps a better way to describe this is as a loving, honouring, empowering partnership. But then again perhaps this is the best description of interdependence!

Father, there are two examples come to mind this morning. The first is Abraham's unsuccessful intercession for Sodom (Genesis 18:16- 33). The second is Moses' successful intercession for Israel, where You literally change Your mind because of his pleading (Exodus 32:7-14). This gives me such hope for my unsaved loved ones. You told the Philippian jailer that if he believed on the Lord Jesus Christ, than both he and his household would be saved (Acts 16:31). Thank You Lord that my fervent prayers are powerful, because I am righteous in You (James 5:16), and so Lord I intercede again this morning for my loved ones trusting that You will indeed bring them to Yourself. And I give You all the honour and the glory again in Jesus Name Amen

Intimacy with God (X) Friends of God

In a society which increasingly confuses love and lust, we have substantially weakened the glue that is intended to hold romantic relationships together. In fact there are three different Greek words in the New Testament all translated “love” in English. The first is eros, or erotic love, the second phileo, or friendship love, and the third agape, God’s extravagant unconditional love. And when we engage in eros before it’s time (Ecclesiastes 3:5b), then the friendship love is stunted. Then when the passion of the eros love begins to fade, there is no friendship love to fall back on. And too often the relationship falls apart! This phenomena of the impatience of “I want what I want, and I want it now,” too easily carries over into our relationship with God. The Lord delights to give his children good gifts, but He withholds betimes either because we don’t ask, or because when we do ask , we ask to consume it on hedonistic pleasure, or as the King James version puts it our lusts (James 4:3).

In His private ministry to the eleven (after Judas had left John 13:30, 31), Jesus tells the disciples “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. You are My friends if you do whatever I command you” (John 15:13, 14). We should not take it lightly this offer, to be friends with the living God. There is no greater friend, and the benefits are great. In particular He is ready willing and able to share His plans and purposes with us (John 15:15), and we become co-labourers with God in the Kingdom (1 Corinthians 3:9). He also takes us deeper into His embrace, where we are intended to experience the warmth of his friendship love, as well as all the benefits of His agape love (Psalm 68:19).

And these things are a strong glue that cement our relationship with Him. Indeed He has promised never to leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5), He honours us, He rejoices over us with singing (Zephaniah 3:17). I love the line in the song from Godfrey Birtill which describes His love “Like a bridegroom to his bride, Like a father to his precious child. And forever we belong together.” The chorus has the Lord singing to us “I say I think you're amazing, my love for you never changes, I say I think you’re amazing.” When we sing this I tell him “I received this Lord, and I think You are amazing too!”

Father, John declares “Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed upon us that we should be called the children of God and so we are (1 John 3:1 NIV). We are Your children, we are Your friends, we are Your co-labourers. You have given us such significance Lord, there is no one like You, not even close. It’s amazing Lord to realize that the son of God loved me and gave His life for me, little old me (Galatians 2:10)! In You Lord there is freedom and peace, and significance and hope, and security and Grace, and intimacy and joy. Well in You Lord there is life! And I give you all the honour and glory again this morning Lord in Jesus Name Amen

Intimacy with God (IX) limp lovers, or passionate lovers

I was an innocent 14-year-old, and my fantasies at that age were also innocent. In the era of swashbuckling movies, I would dream of a gorgeous belly dancer feeding me grapes with me lying back on the couch, and my saying to her “You may proceed,” expecting her to smother me with kisses, as I just simply lie there. As I matured I came to realize that that would have been no fun at all for her, rather like kissing a wet sponge! Though this would not have been unrequited love, I would have been what I now think of as being a limp lover. We are commanded to love the Lord our God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength (Mark 12:30). In terms of this morning’s post, we are not to be limp lovers of God.

It seems to me that our capacity to love is very dependent upon our history. I’m not saying that I did this perfectly by any stretch of the imagination, but I regard it as the father’s job to love our daughters into life. Most parents do the very, very best with what they were handed. We likely cannot give more than what we receive. The Scriptures say “We love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19 NIV). When we are vitally connected to Him, then our capacity to love is far, far greater, because we then become channels of His love. When we are disconnected from Him, from the very source of love (1 John 4:8), then our capacity to love is diminished. What I am saying, is that all of us at some level, have all been disconnected from the source, and that this has impaired our ability to love others and of course Him.

So what I am saying here, is that many times our love is weak. But even though it is weak, when we love Him with all that we are capable of, then He is greatly pleased. I think of this in terms of what delighted me recently. I was at lunch with my daughter and two granddaughters. The five-year-old, spontaneously looked over at me and said “I love you grandpa!” Do you think my response was “You are only five years old, you don’t even know what love is!” No, no, no it touched my heart, it touched my heart deeply.

Father, I like what Mike Bickle prays, he prays "I am loved, and I love You. Even though my love is weak, it is my position and desire to be a lover of You. Therefore my life is a success.” And Lord, just as I delight in my granddaughters five-year-old love, You too are delighted when we give You our all, even though it might be a lot less than what we would like to give You. It is a processes, and just as my granddaughters love will mature, so too as we continue to love You will our love mature. And as we continue to love You, intimacy with You will deepen too. I do love You Lord in Jesus Name Amen

Intimacy with God (VIII) Called up, not out

In our earthly relationships, if we do ten things right and one thing wrong, likely the thing that will be remembered, is the wrong. In our relationship with God, if we do one thing right, and ten things wrong then, provided we confess, what He will remember, is the one thing we did right. We know this from His Word, for He has told us that He will not, He chooses not, to remember our sins and inequities (1 John 1:9; Hebrews 8:12).

He not only remembers the good, He sees the good we are capable of, even when we don’t see it. He believes in us, even when we do not believe in ourselves. We see this clearly in the story of Gideon. Gideon had been threshing wheat in the winepress hiding from fear of the Midianites. You cannot thrash wheat in the winepress, you need the wind to take the chaff away. Gideon was afraid, but the angel of the Lord came and addressed him “Hail mighty warrior.” The Lord saw what Gideon could not see, and that was that he was indeed a mighty warrior. But because God saw him this way, and what God sees is true, then Gideon began to see himself as God saw him, and he rose to the occasion (Judges 6, 7).

The Lord has promised to supply all of our needs according to his riches in glory (Philippians 4:19). And when our need is for a coach, He will coach us. As with Gideon, He comes alongside and tells us “I am with you, you can do this!” In other words He calls us up to all we can be, rather than calling us out. One of the many ways that He does this, is that He calls us saints (i. e. Ephesians 1:1). Some versions correctly translate “saints,” as “holy ones.” So in calling us “holy ones,” He is calling us up to live holy and blameless lives. We cannot do this without Him, but when we surrender to Him, He gives us the wherewithal (grace) to do what without Him we cannot do (Romans 5:2). He then turns round and rewards us for doing it! And in the process of doing of all this, He forges an ever deeper intimate bond with us.

Father, there really is no one like You. My heart is full this morning Lord, as I think about all You have done, all that You do, and all that I know You will do. Words cannot express the depth of my peace as I come to You morning by morning. And I know that You have not finished with me yet! I know that You will keep right on helping me to grow in You, and to grow closer to You (Philippians 1:6). And I thank and praise You again this morning Lord, in Jesus Name Amen

Intimacy with God (VII) The importance of knowing me

I have come to realize, that I cannot grow in intimacy with God without growing in knowledge of myself. I don’t pretend to fully understand this, but I am convinced it is true. I spoke the other day of the lady who told me she had not realized how selfish she was until she got married. What was happening was that the interactions between her and her husband were bringing things to the light that were previously hidden to her. When things are brought to the light I can either blame others or even God (Genesis 3:12), or I can accept responsibility for my part in what goes wrong. This lady was accepting responsibility, one of the essential building blocks of intimacy.

There are at least three views of my character and yours, the view we present to the world, the view we have of ourselves, and the true view that God has. And they are likely all different. Which on of us had not exaggerated the good and de-emphasized the ugly? Certainly not me! Our hearts are deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9) and the unregenerate parts of the hearts hide from the light (John 3:20, 21). There was a reason Adam an Eve covered themselves with with fig leaves! After the fall they were not safe. Just look at how Adam blamed Eve (Genesis 3:12 again).

What I want to say about all this today, is that God is a safe place. He is safe because His love is unconditional. When, through the new birth we become His children, then He deals with us as a loving and wise father deals with His child. He may of course discipline us for our good (Hebrews 12:10). But there is now no condemnation (Romans 8:1), and it is safe enough to take off the masks we wear in order to hide even from ourselves. In the embrace of His extravagant healing love, we can start to be real and realistic. Being sure of His forgiveness (1 John 1:9), we can admit our faults, and in doing so bring the three views mentioned above closer to each other, and ourselves closer to God. As I have said before, we even get to like ourselves.

Father, it is such a relief to know that I do not have to have it all together in order to be close to You. You have told us that if we draw near to You, You will draw near to us (James 4:8). And as a little boy with a great big Daddy, I can be free to enjoy life and have peace even in the midst of the chaos. I do need to say close, and I ask You this morning to help me to deal Your way, with anything that might hinder. In Jesus Name Amen

Intimacy with God (VI) Wrestling with God

At the moment of crisis, when Jacob believed that his brother was coming against him with four hundred armed men likely, to Jacob’s mind, for revenge, we read that he wrestled with a man until the breaking of day. When he is told “Let me go for the day breaks,” Jacob’s response is “I will not let you go until you bless me.” Jacob was changed by this incident, his name is even changed to Israel which means "(he who) struggles with God” (Genesis 32:24-28). Because of the new name, some believe that the man (or angel) is a pre-incarnation of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Coming back to the analogy of intimacy in marriage, in order to come into true intimacy of body, soul and spirit, we need to come to the place where stop blaming each other, where we honour one another and trust one another enough, to allow both to share how we are wounded, and how we wound each other in the relationship. And we need to be able to do this without fear of reprisal or punishment. We will likely not come to this place without a lot of humility and a lot of struggle. Sadly very few seem to arrive there! It is God’s greatest desire that we enter into this level of intimacy with Him, but again we will not likely get there either without a lot of humility and struggle. And obviously there is no fault with Him!

And as with Jacob, God will if we let Him, use the crises and the struggles to change us. And also as with Jacob, when we stick with it, when in the midst of the trial we cry out and groan and travail in the Spirit (Romans 8:20-23) calling out in essence “I will not let you go until you bless me,” then we too are changed and come into the same intimacy as did Jacob. Indeed this is one of the ways that God uses the struggle to work all things for our good (Romans 8:28)! It is worth it all, it is worth it all!

Father, You told us to pray “Do not bring us to the time of trial.” Most of us Lord want to avoid these things like the plague. But Father when we are there, please give us the wherewithal to push through. Lord we cannot grow without the trials. The sailors of old did not learn to sail in the calm, they learned the most in the gales. So it is with us Lord. And I want to thank You today that You are a very present help in time of need (Psalm 46:1), and that You will never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). In Jesus Name Amen

Intimacy with God (V) Some ways of God

The possibility of entering into a deep intimacy with God begins by becoming as a little child (Matthew 18:3), being born again (John 3:3) and thus becoming His child (John 1:12). In the natural, the development of the relationship between parent and child depends both on how the parent, parents the child, and on how the child responds. As earthly parents we can sometimes give in to temper tantrums and manipulation. This is very bad for the child, since in effect, it teaches the child that temper tantrums and manipulation pay off. I want to suggest that we have all learned, one way or the other, to play similarly destructive "games". And after a while we likely do not even know we are playing them. They become part of us! And they negatively affect all our relationships, including our relationship with God!

In a previous post I suggested that He will never, never manipulate or control us, but neither will He allow us to manipulate or control Him. Neither will He play any of the other such negative games we may have learned to play. It is well known that we tend to project our faults onto others (Romans 2:1). In particular since we are talking about manipulation, if you or I are manipulative, we are likely to accuse others of being manipulative, when our manipulation is not working. What I am saying, is that many of the games we have learned to play and likely don’t even know we are playing, these games seriously hinder our entering into an intimate relationship not only with each other, but also with God!

It seems to me, that marriage is one of God’s primary tools to make us more like Christ. Someone I know and respect told me one time “I did not realize how selfish I am until I got married.” The scripture “As iron sharpens iron, so man sharpens man” (Proverbs 27:17) comes to mind again. But what I want to say here, is that the same sort of thing that He wants us to learn about ourselves (good and bad) in and through our earthly relationships, these lessons are applicable to our relationship with Him, and in our drawing close to Him.

Father, part of the what You are doing in working all things for our good, is making us more like Christ, and in the process drawing us ever closer to You (Romans 8:28, 29). You are a good, good Father and You know how to father us perfectly. I choose to trust You Lord this morning that You are using all that You do, and all that You allow as vehicles to draw me more and more into the treasure of intimacy with You, in Jesus Name Amen

Intimacy with God (IV) The dance

There is a sense in which intimacy with God and is exactly the same as intimacy with each other, and a sense in which it is not. It is different, because we know God is perfect and our earth earthly partners are not. But it’s the same, at least from our point of view, because there are bound to be misunderstandings. And at such times the temptation to not be real with God (and often with each other) is huge. It may sound silly, but we may have to forgive God. I can hear you protesting “But He never does anything wrong, He is God!” True enough, but it does not always feel like that!

There have been many times when in my mind’s eye, I have been in His embrace with His arms round me, and me pounding on His chest in frustration and even anger. He has made promises that He has not yet fulfilled. And yes it’s not over yet, but the delay is often painful as I need to keep my heart open, and you can get hurt again after, and hurt again after, and hurt again after! As an English lady friend of mine said one time “The trouble with God is that He has no sense of time!” On top of this, since our knowledge of God is not perfect, there are also bound to be misunderstandings. We have this tendency to project onto the Lord things that are simply not true. For example I knew that my father loved me, but in his workaholism (his way of coping with his issues) it was from a distance. He had so little time for me. And for the longest time, this is how I felt about God, He loved me from a distance. But it was a lie, He is a very present God (Psalm 46:1)!

In earthly relationships when we get hurt, we need to come apart for a while, to give each other space. But when we love each other, we do need to come back together, to sort out our misunderstandings, and to forgive and receive forgiveness. The scripture puts it this way, there is a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing (Ecclesiastes 3:5). It is like a dance where we come together, move apart and then come back together again. While we are apart absence makes the heart grow fonder, and when we come back together the joy of reconciliation can and will, if we let it, take us deeper and deeper into an intimacy where there is openness and honesty and honour. It takes two, it takes trust, it takes a willingness to wrestle through the misunderstandings and the inherent selfishness. It takes love. And in our earthy relationships, the Christian has the advantage, since he or she can tap into the very Source of love (1 John 4:8).

Father, I know that You would rather that we came to You with railing accusations, than that we stay away, isolating ourselves from You. Thank You Lord that You are big enough to deal with my outbursts (Psalm 142:2). I cannot have an intimate relationship with You if I am not real with You. And I cannot be real if I deny or suppress what I am feeling. I have the sense Lord that when I have come to You and we have sorted it out, that You are far more thrilled with the reconciliation that I could ever be! I love You this morning Lord, and though my love is weak compared to Yours, it is what it is, and I know it pleases You. I bless You this morning Lord in Jesus Name Amen

Intimacy with God (III) Unrequited love

One of the pictures the Bible paints of our relationship with God, is the marriage relationship. For example, the husband is to love the wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25, see also verses 31, 32). It is my observation however, that in human romantic relationships, the one who loves the most has the least power. It also seems to me that in that situation the temptation to manipulation and control by the one with the most power is great, and that when that temptation is not resisted, it too easily leads to a radical disrespect of the other partner. It is therefore something of a paradox in my mind, that in our relationship with God, the one who has all power and authority is the also the one who loves the most (i.e John 3:16).

And this One with all power and authority, though He commands, nevertheless gives us complete freedom to obey or not. And He will never, never, never, manipulate or control, and even when we fail, He always treats us with honour and respect (i.e. John 8:1-11)! We do need to understand that when He commands a thing, or forbids a thing, He does it for our provision and protection. As a wise and loving Father He indeed knows what is best for us. And He has neither hidden agenda nor nefarious purpose! So when He commands us to love Him with all our heart, mind soul and strength (Mark 12:30), He has our very best interests at heart. In particular, when we love Him first, and put Him first in all things, then His love is able to pour out through us in a way we could not love others without Him!

What shall we say to these things? Those of us who have experienced unrequited love (a love that is only one way), or a love that is imbalanced as mentioned above, we know both the pain and the longing for intimacy. And if we are to have deep intimacy with the Lord, and access to the fullness of His extravagant healing love, then surly we can understand that anything less that our absolute all, will simply not cut it. And this is why the commands can seem so demanding. “Unless you take up your cross daily and follow me, you cannot be my disciple” (Luke 9:23). We need to understand that when we do not give our all, we are in fact cheating ourselves.

Father, to my mind Paul says it well when he pleads “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service” (Romans 12:1 NKJV). The word translated “reasonable” here, is the word from which we get our word “logical.” Indeed Lord the only logical response to all that You have done is to seek to love You with all that I am and have. I need You to help me in this Lord, for many times the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Thank You Lord that You are indeed able to keep that which I have committed to You against that day (2 Timothy 1:2) in Jesus Name Amen

Intimacy with God (II) Unconditional love

I am told that the Hallmark card company one time, had gone into a certain prison and given away mother’s day cards for mother’s day. So many of the men wanted cards, that they ran out. When they tried the same for father’s day, it didn’t work, there were very few takers! The love of an earthly father it seems, is not unconditional like many a mother’s love, and not like our Heavenly Father’s love! I also know of a mother who turned her son in, and then went to visit him every day in prison. This love is unconditional too, and is in fact deeper than a “love” that enables, a “love” that covers for a him, thus enabling him to escape responsibility for his actions. As you can imagine, the relationship was somewhat strained for a while. Part of what I am trying to say here, is that unconditional love needs at times to act in such a way that may not feel like love to the one receiving it.

The mother’s love in this story is deeper, because she knew that unless and until her son took responsibility for his actions, he would continue in behaviour that was destructive both to himself and to those around him. These things always impact more than just ourselves, we do not sin in a vacuum! Of course, God’s love for us is even deeper than this mother’s love, and so include His not being an enabler. In particular He has designed reality in such a way that there are negative consequences to poor decisions (Galatians 6:7). Most of us have to come to the end of ourselves, to the place where we truly see that life is not working, before we become willing to change. In my own life, I became desperate enough to turn to and surrender to God. I became as a little child trusting God that He knows best, and to be willing to allow Him, not only to show me the right path, but also to correct me when I had gotten off it (Hebrews 12:6).

Similarly what needed to happen in the relationship between the mother and son in the above story, is that he needed to humble himself, and to open his eyes to see that his mother was only doing what was in his very best interest. Only then could there be an intimate relationship between mother and son. It’s the same with us and God. You see you can be in prison and be free, and you can be out of prison and not be free, caught up in the negative consequences of our choices. But if as little children we enter into a submissive obedient relationship with God, then through what He did on the cross, the Son will set you free, and you totally will be free (John 8: 31, 32, 36).

Father, when my sons were little I remember well how they always wanted to be with me, were eager to please me, were very teachable and did not sulk when I needed to correct them. They knew that I loved them. If my sons could be like this with me, an imperfect father, how much more does it make sense that we can have an even deeper intimate relationship with You who is perfect. And in this state of surrender we do indeed cry out Abba, daddy, Papa (Romans 8:15). We love Father because You first loved us (1 John 4:19), in particular, again when we surrender, we love You in response to Your extravagant healing love. Thank You Lord, thank You Lord, thank You Lord in Jesus name amen

Intimacy with God (I) Introduction

Jesus concludes the parable of the wine skins with the declaration “No one, having drunk old wine, immediately desires new; for he says, “The old is better’ ” (Luke 5:36-38). At a time of crisis during my walk with Him, I came to realize that I had not really dealt with my pre-Christianaddictions, I had simply exchanged them for Christian workaholism, and obsessive thinking. But the sense of betrayal I was experiencing, together with the lies and the judgement and the rejection, were too much for me, and I reverted to my old habits. I see now that I had not yet fully developed a taste for the new wine of intimacy with Him. Oh I knew in my head that He loved me, but my heart didn’t yet know it, and the draw of the immediate but temporary relief of the old wine, was very strong. But like all counterfeits, there was no lasting satisfaction, and there was guilt and shame and no real peace or joy.

This morning I’m starting a series of blogs on the second of the three pots of cream we talked about earlier (28 September 2018), three pictures of the new wine, hearing God’s voice, intimacy with God and inner healing. They are intimately interconnected, we cannot have intimacy if we don’t talk to each other. And it is intimacy with God and His unconditional healing love that heals the emotional wounds. And the healing of our inner wounds in term leads to greater intimacy. In thinking about how to write about this, I googled “components of intimacy.” The things that came up include trust, honour, gratitude, vulnerability, mutuality, responsiveness, time and love. All of these things are soulish, related to the senses feel, touch, see. For the Christian, there also the spiritual dimension! We, being made in the image of Trinity (Genesis 1:26), are body soul and spirit.

A book I may one day write might be entitled “Thy Kingdom come on earth? You must be joking!” I mean look at it! In heaven there is no war, or hate or manipulation or rejection etc. It looks impossible. Nevertheless our task is to cooperate with Heaven and to pray it down. And it needs to start with our relationships. We can start here, we can. It seems to me however, that we cannot likely treat others better than we ourselves are treated. And what this means to me, is that I need to become more and more vitally connected to the One who treats me in spades with all of the above virtues. I need more and more to walk in my identity in Him, my identity as a beloved and precious son (Luke 15:22-24) of the One who loved me and gave Himself for me. In His embrace I find who I really am. I even get to like myself.

Father, there is a line in the song we sing “I never want to go back to my old life.” Yes it took me a while to see that the new wine is indeed better than the old. But now I see there is no comparison. The old wine left me hung over, hurting and confused, and the relief was always only temporary. I always had to wake up from the anesthetic, and the pain then always seemed worse! On the other hand, I remember Melinda Fish declaring “There are no toxic levels of the Holy Spirit!” And it’s true! Thank You Lord for Your persistence, Your patience and Your extravagant healing love. I give You all the honour and glory and praise this morning again in Jesus Name Amen

The day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night… the heavens and earth will …. melt with fervent heat

While journaling this morning, the Lord brought this verse from 2 Peter 3:10 to my attention. In context Peter is reminding us that the Lord is not slow to fulfill His promises, but the delay is there because He is not willing that any should perish but all come to repentance (verses 8,9). Nevertheless, the Day of the Lord will come, and I am grateful this morning for the firm foundation that is Christ. I am also grateful for the assurance He gives in His Word, that though I will have to give an account of every idle word (Matthew 12:36), and though some of my works may well be burned up, even so, I will be saved yet possibly only as by fire (1 Corinthians 3:11-15).

It is not politically correct in our day, to speak of the things of which the Lord is reminding me this morning. And if and when we speak we will often be met with hostility. Part of this is the willing ignorance that Peter speaks about in this same passage (verse 5). Nevertheless, into this widespread denial, we are commissioned to be His ambassadors. He has entrusted unto us the ministry of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18-20). And it is a challenge to know how to do this in the face of widespread opposition to all things Christian. I had to learn the hard way that there are times when speaking is counterproductive. In particular, such is often the case when the other person is not listening. But how then are we to carry out our commission?

Well "There is a time to speak and a time to be silent" (Ecclesiastes 3:7). Seeing the difficulty in these last days Peter, in the context of this morning's verse asks “Seeing as how these things be what manner or men aught we to be?” He answers “You ought to live holy and godly lives” (verse 11 NIV). In particular first and foremost we need to “live such good lives among unbelievers so that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us” (1 Peter 2:12; Matthew 5:16). And in knowing when to speak and when to be silent we need to rely on the voice of the Shepherd. I need His serenity when He tells me to be silent (especially with those I love so dearly). And I need His courage and wisdom to know what to speak when He tells me "now is the time" (James 1:19)!

Lord, Paul tells us that we are to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing. We are the fragrance of life to those who are being saved, but a fragrance of death to those who are perishing. And who is sufficient for these things (2 Corinthians 2:15,16)? Who is sufficient indeed? The thought Lord that You might use my words or my deeds to point out to someone that “they are without excuse” (Romans 1:20) motives me to want to live a Kingdom oriented life before You. I cannot do this without You. Thank You Lord for Your lavish grace to be all that You call us to be in Jesus Name Amen

The LAST two of four keys to hearing God’s voice

Last day I used to verse “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10) to talk about the fist two of Mark Virkler’s keys to hearing God’s voice. The two keys were quieting ourselves down, and turning our eyes onto Jesus. The last two keys are tuning to flow (John 7:38) and writing it down (Habakkuk 2:2a). In tuning to flow I ask the Lord every morning what He wants to say to me. I then choose to trust in faith that what comes is of Him. Even so, as I have said, anything that is radical needs to be tested and confirmed within a mutually accountable fellowship.

Knowing that I can test what comes later, allows me to get it all down without interruption. There are times when it is very, very tempting interrupt the flow, because what you are receiving does not seem right. There was a very difficult period (emotionally) in my Christian walk where I had reverted to some of my pre-Christian habits. In effect I had gone back to my old ways of dealing with my pain. In the process of pushing through to victory, there were periods of sobriety followed by a fall. In the midst of this the Lord told me one time “You are faithful darling son.” I am sure He would have said more, but I blurted out “What about ….” And He told me “I don’t remember that.” He was reminding me of the verse “Their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more” (Hebrews 10:17). He was telling me that when I confess and forsake my sin (even before I have full victory), He chooses not to remember. We need to be more like Him in this!

He reminded me this morning of what I used ask my grandson when he was little “Did I ever tell you that I love you?” He would say “You tell me all the time!” Well many, many times when I am journaling His voice, He tells me that He loves me, and that He is proud of me. This can be difficult to receive! Part of this is what I call “rubber heart,” because it bounces off us. I mean He loves us all, but many of us disqualify ourselves. He loves others, but me? Well yes me, and you too (John 3:16), and you and I need to choose to receive this, and to tell Him “I choose to receive this Lord, please help me to allow this to go from my head to my heart.” You see when we operate out of the heart knowledge that we are loved and unconditionally accepted (Romans 8:1), we will operate differently!

Father, You demonstrated Your love for us that “while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). And You who did not spare Your Son how shall You not with Him also freely give us all things (Romans 8:32)? Lord I am sensing this morning, that I have hardly begun to tap into all that You have already provided for me and my brothers and sisters (2 Peter 1:3,4). We need Your help Lord, I do, to live, breath and move out of our true identity in You. In Jesus Name Amen!

The first two of four keys to hearing God’s voice

To me, the first two of Mark Virkler’s keys to hearing God’s voice, quiet myself down and turn my eyes on Jesus, have become essentially seamless. I see the Biblical warrant for these two keys being contained in the command “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). And these thoughts came to mind this morning, as I sat outside on the bench in front of my house, drinking coffee, wearing my winter jacket! The light was awesome, with the sun shining almost horizontal, and the leaves just starting to turn. There was not a breath of wind, and in the stillness it was easy to quiet myself down, and I was sensing His presence (“eyes” turned to Jesus) I was indeed still, and I was knowing that He is God. And in the beauty of it all, my heart simply turned to worship.

Like all habits, when repeated over and over they become second nature. But it wasn’t always so. The first thing I had to learn to do to quieten myself down, was to write down the things my mind would remind me needed to be done. That way I would not fret that I would forget them. The next thing would be to deal with the accusations of the thief (John 10:10a). I cannot be quiet and at peace with unconfessed sin. I don’t have to be perfect, I don’t even have to have full victory over my besetting sins, I simply need to confess, to surrender and to ask for His help. It is helpful to remind myself that there is no condemnation in Christ (Romans 8:1), and because of what Jesus did on the cross, I am welcome in His presence (Matthew 11:28).

Dealing with racing thoughts is handled by switching from left to right brain activity, and in so doing turning my eyes on Jesus. I find this through worship, and soaking. What I mean by soaking, is that I put on some of my favourite worship music, spread my hands wide inviting Him to come, then laying down and letting Him love me! I am also in the process of learning to visualize the presence of the Lord. So I can meditate on such verses as “He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul” (Psalm 23:2,3a). I can visualize this on the screen of my mind. I can picture the stream I used to visit all the time, I can “see” green pastures along side the waters, and my restless thoughts settle down. I do need to give him time, lovers do not rush in and out of one another’s presence!

Father, I am totally convinced that if You can do this for me, You can do it for anyone. It does take effort, it does take determination and practice, but Lord it is totally worth it. In our conversation this morning on my way here, I sensed You asking me what I would choose, if I had to choose between You and the fulfillment of Your promise to me. It is no contest Lord, I choose You every time. There is no one like you Lord, You have stolen my heart and I love You in Jesus Name Amen

Our part in “Seeing (John 5:19) and Hearing” (IV) Putting safeguards in place

There are many things that can distort what we see and hear, and what we think we see and hear from God. And in his teaching Mark Virkler insists on certain safeguards. We are told that unless we are born again we cannot see the Kingdom of heaven (John 3:3), and that the mysteries of the Kingdom are given to disciples (Mark 4:11,12). So in other words firstly we need to have surrendered our lives to Christ. Secondly, since His Word is truth (John 17:17), we need a very high value for the Scriptures. I like the Intervarsity statement on this, it is that the Bible is the unique divine inspiration of God, it is entirely trustworthy and is the primary authority for faith and practice. The third safeguard is that we need to be feeding our spirits on this Word of Truth, on a daily basis.

But it is not enough to simply read. Peter warns us that the one who is not diligent, obedient and growing in Grace and maturity is “nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins” (2 Peter 1:9). Finally, in this brief review, we must be in humble mutual submission to each other (Ephesians 5:21), and in submission and obedience to our leaders, those who watch out for our souls (Hebrews 13:17). This last point (submission) is just as important as the others, since truth is suppressed by unrighteousness (Romans 1:18), because our hearts are deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9), because our “adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour” (1 Peter 5:8), and because iron sharpens iron so we sharpen each other (Proverbs 27:17).

To say more on this last point, it is really important to bounce what we hear, and what we think we hear, off mature believers and/or our oversight. Even leaders need to be in relationships of mutual accountability. Submitting what we think we hear is especially important when what we hear is at some level radical. It is helpful to be in a mentoring relationship with someone who (a) knows the Shepherd, (b) who has a good Bible orientation, (c) can hear the voice of of the Shepherd, (d) is someone who is willing to give you time, (e) is also willing to receives council (witness Jim jones) and finally when necessary (f) is ahead in a particular area of the (key 4) journaling entry (finances, health etc.).

Father, as I write this morning my heart is grieved for those who, rejecting the above advice, are making shipwreck of their faith (1 Timothy 1:19). In light of this, is it little wonder that many in the church have shied away from hearing Your voice and prophecy? But in doing this, they (we) have allowed the Evil One to rob us of one of the precious tools You have given to facilitate intimacy, healing, strengthening, encouraging and comforting us. And I pray for anyone reading this, this morning who may be having doubts about this, that they would not dismiss it out of fear, but rather be among those who test all things. As for me, I want to thank You for Your daily rhema word to me. I cannot live without You Lord. In Jesus Name Amen

Our part in “Hearing” (III) Recognizing the “sound” of His voice

Continuing to blog on Mark Virkler’s four keys to hearing God’s voice. He answers what hearing God’s voice sounds like with “Hearing God’s voice sounds like spontaneous thoughts that bubble up and light upon your mind while, your eyes are fixed on Jesus.” The part about “while your eyes are fixed on Jesus is important. It is Mark’s second key which needs to follow the first “quieting yourself down.” There are also other things that need to be put in place to ensure that it is God we are hearing from (more next day). This morning I want to look at the phrase “spontaneous thoughts that bubble up. ” Mark also describes this as “flowing thoughts.”

The first thing to say is that the Hebrew word for prophet is Nevi which, I am told, means bubbling up. The prophet of course heard and spoke God’s words, and so essentially the prophet the prophetic utterance “bubbled up” from within. In the New Testament we read “He who believes in Me … out of his heart will flow rivers of living water” (John 7:38). Since the scripture connects water and word (Ephesians 5:26) it is not much of a stretch to see that the flow of living water can manifest itself in words.

This is Mark’s third key then, to tune to spontaneous thoughts that flow while our eyes are fixed on Jesus. It is important not to interrupt the flow, and this takes us to the fourth key, writing it down. Writing it down allows us to get the whole thing before judging what we are receiving. Without writing it down, we might be tempted to judge what we hear prematurely, before we hear the whole thing. I know this temptation first hand, especially when what I am hearing is surprising. It does, of course, need to judged, and this is part of putting safeguards in place. Knowing that we can judge it later is important, I mean we all have thoughts that come out of nowhere, that are clearly not from God.

Father, I want to thank You for your servant Mark. Thank You for the wisdom You have given him, and the simplicity of the four keys. Thank You for the many testimonies of those who have used the keys with the accompanying safeguards to come to hear your voice. Thank You for the many times the things I have heard You say in this way that have strengthened encouraged and comforted me. In Jesus Name Amen