A helper comparable to him I: The sex wars

“Now the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper [one who balances him—a counterpart who is] suitable and complementary for him” (Genesis 2:18 AMP).  In the war between the sexes,  the Bible tends to get short shrift, but there is a lot of misunderstanding.  For example, the Holy Spirit is called the Helper, there is no sense of inferiority in a helper designation. From verses 21-22,  God performs takes a rib from Adam,  and forms Eve.  Matthew Henry comments “woman was made of a rib,  out of the side of Adam; not  out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.”

 But perhaps the most controversial issue in the sex wars,  comes from the passage on marriage (Ephesians 5:22- 33). It is important to note that this teaching is preceded by the command to submit “to one another in the fear of God” (verse 21). In particular the husband is commanded to submit to the wife,  as well as the wife to the husband. And both are to do it in the fear of the Lord. Actually, the whole passage is summed up by the admonition that the husband love the wife,  and the wife respect her husband (verse  33). It's not that there’s no need for the wife to love her husband, nor for the husband to respect his wife. But I know from my own life that I feel undermined by lack of respect. And perhaps what a man needs most is respect,  and what women need most is love, and perhaps these things are most naturally missing from the equation!

But let's not pretend that man has lived up to the command from the Ephesians passage to love the woman as Christ loved the church (verse 25), nor that there's no disrespect for the man. Note however,  that there is no requirement for these things be deserved!  In a little known verse Paul tells that “neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 11:11).  It's called interdependence, each surrendering what is necessary for the  good of the relationship. This is to be done “in the fear of the Lord” (verse 21).  We are different, but complementary, with the whole being greater than the sum of the individuals. We are made to need each other. It is not good to be alone, “two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. For if one falls down, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to help him up” (Ecclesiastes 4:9. 10).

Father, the New Testament calls singleness a gift (1 Corinthians 7:7), but You put the lonely in families (Psalm 68:6). Actually most us us don't want the gift of singleness.  We often say that we can't live with them and we can't live without them.  But one thing is sure, we need Your help Lord in all relationships, and we need to be changed. Show us,  and help us Lord,  in Jesus Name Amen