As Iron sharpens iron so man sharpens man

There is a companion Scripture that goes along with this morning’s verse from Proverbs 27:17. It is “He who speaks first seems to be right, until his neighbour comes along and examines him” (Proverbs 18:17). Both scriptures seem to be saying, that we will not know the whole truth, if we do not engage with one another. And not for the first time, it came to me this morning, that many Christians seem as reluctant to engage in debate with other Christians, as do non-Christians with Christians. In either case in order to know the whole truth, and to sharpen each other, we do need at some level, to engage!

A Christian counsellor I know told me that in a dispute, particularly a marital dispute, each side knows only about 10% of the truth. If this is true, then when we are a loggerheads, there is a whopping 80% that remains unknown. Now the iron sharpening iron analogy, cannot likely be done without friction. And the refining and sharpening process occurs as we rub up against each other. We need to learn to do this respectfully, gently, and in a non-argumentative way. This does not come easy to any of us! In an argument, as opposed to a discussion, both sides are likely to be more interested in proving a point, rather that arriving at the truth. In a respectful discussion, we are trying to get at the truth, not to win the argument!

The world is likely, but perhaps overly simplistically, divided in two, those who are more than willing to engage in argument, and those who avoid conflict like the plague. Clearly in light of this morning’s Scriptures, both extremes are wrong! And it seems to me this morning that in order to get the balance right, we need courage and wisdom and Grace. We need courage to engage, at least I do, we need wisdom to know when and how to engage, when to be quiet, and when to simply listen. We need Grace so that our discussion is loving and respectful, and looking for win, win solutions. Otherwise it’s lose, lose! We need to learn to do this in house, for if we do not lean it here in the Christian community, how can we possibly respectfully engage with the world? And it is something we need to learn, for it does not come naturally.

So Father, I pray for these things this morning Lord, courage, wisdom and grace. I pray the same thing for those with whom You want me to engage. I am very aware this morning Lord that our woundedness plays a big role in these things. I know that in my first marriage I fought too much, and in my second not enough. I was too wounded from the first. But fighting is not really what needs to happen, or if we do fight, we need to fight fair, in the ways I have described above. But it’s hard to do that Lord when you know that you’re right! I’m joking of course, but You know that Lord. In fact the older I get the more aware I am of how little I know! We all need help in this area Father, and I am asking for it this morning, in Jesus Name Amen