Let go and let God (I)

Why is is so hard at times to let go, be it worry, anger, resentment, being stubborn, pride, the need to control, nursing our pain, or one of my “favourites,” the need to find a solution to a problem now? Eventually we come to realize that these things are destructive at all sorts of levels. They keeps us from being present in relationship, they make us irritable and grumpy, and likely to respond to innocent parties (especially our children) in ways that are less than gracious. I know these things well, because, as I came to realize, for the longest time, obsessive thinking was something of an addiction with me. You know what I am talking about, thoughts that keep going round and round, going over the same ground over and over and over. It’s no fun!

The first step of course, is to realize that it’s a problem, and that it is my problem. If it’s resentment or anger, we will likely start off blaming others. And to be sure it is more than likely that others are guilty at some level, perhaps completely. We are however responsible for our response no matter what the situation. I eventually broke my obsessive addiction habit, by journaling. I would write a million letters that I would never send. This helped in getting my thought out of my head. We can believe all sorts of destructive ways of thinking that keep us stuck. “He or she deserves my resentment,” or “If I forgive them they will get away with it!” But it us who are stuck, likely they do not give it a second thought. I remember, perhaps unkindly, that I was actually grateful that a particular person would not speak to me for a while. It meant I did not have to deal with him.

I came to realize that it was better to “pour out my complaint to the Lord, ” than to others (Psalm 142:2). When I do this, He can comfort me and show me what to do. There were times He needed to gently tell me to get over myself. But you know something, it is always easier to hear such things from Him, than it is to hear them from others. I mean I know He loves me and has my best interest at heart! Also, if I am caught up in obsessive thinking, likely nobody else wants to know. I remember well a conversation with someone offended at the many faults of those who call themselves Christians. The complaints were legitimate for sure, but he was wearing me out. After listening to him for the longest time he eventually told me “I expect better.” My response was “How is that working for you?” When we are finding it hard to let go, it is likely a question we need to ask ourselves. It is one I often had to ask myself!

Father, the twelve-step serenity prayer comes to mind again, and so I pray it again this morning. Lord please grant us the serenity to accept those things we cannot change, the courage to change those things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Certainly there will be times when we need to act, but also there are times when it is best to let the world unfold. Sometimes we just need to pray , and to pray with thanksgiving. Sometimes we need to stop praying and do the things we need to do. And when we don’t know, asking You in faith to shows, the wisdom we need will be given (James 1:5). And I thank You this morning Lord for the many times You have answered this prayer in Jesus Name Amen