Sanctification fellowship (III) Toxic secrets and the need to find a safe place

“If anyone ever found out I would die1” Such a statement is about hiding something the person desperately wants to stay hidden. With varying degrees of seriousness, such secrets are all toxic. They have emotional, behavioural and relational consequences, likely leading to control, and sabotaging intimacy. The toxicity of our secrets multiply in the darkness and keep us stuck, isolated and lonely. There is a recovery saying that you are only as sick as your secrets. The type of fellowship we have been talking about over the last couple of days is precluded by such secrets, since ”If we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin” (1 John 1:7).

I recently read of a pastor of a mega church who announced from the pulpit that he no longer believed in the gospel because it does not work. It seems to me that pastors are among those for which secrets take the deepest tole. The pressure on pastors to be seen to have it all together is immense, and if a pastor cannot find a safe place to confess his or her sins, shipwreck of one form or another, is inevitable. But it’s not just pastors, and the Lord brought this verse to me this morning “There is nothing covered up that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known” (Luke 12:2). Surely it is better to have our sins and iniquities confessed and forgiven in the here and now while the Lord may be found (Isiah 55:6), and our hearts healed and cleansed from the pollution by confessing one to another (James 5:16).

I said earlier that twelve-step-programs give us bite size steps to follow through in these things. The first few steps have to do with coming out of denial, and committing to confession and asking God to do what we cannot do. This is simple stuff, but far from easy. The fearless moral inventory (step 4) takes courage to truly look at ourselves, to see the need to forgive and to take responsibility for out part in it all. And we always have a part even if it is only wrong responses to wrong done. The next step is to admit to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Confessing one to another starts with finding just one safe person. Sadly I have to say that much of the Western Church is not safe, but there are safe people. In twelve step programs we look for a sponsor. When I confessed to mine the thing I least wanted to confess, he told me that he had done the very same thing. It really was healing.

Father, it seems to me that the thief has had much of his success in convincing the World that You are a punishing God, just waiting to call us out. Nothing could be further from the truth, and You wait to be gracious so you can forgive and cleans us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). I know of so many Lord who are covered in guilt and shame and are in hiding often from themselves. It is You though Lord that convict of sin and not me. Help us Lord to simply love them and to speak any word that You have have us speak in Your time not ours. I am sensing Lord that one of the very best things we can do, is to walk in Your light and so be in process of being transformed from glory to glory in Jesus Name Amen