The heart of the matter, is the heart (V) test me

After asking the Lord to search him and to know his heart, the Psalmist next asks the Lord to test him. The meaning of the word translated here as “test” includes examine, scrutinize, try, and prove. The same word is used by Job when he says “When He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold” (Job 23:10). And being brought forth as gold can only happen as we come through the fire of testing. It was during the wilderness wandering that the Lord tested Israel “to humble you and test you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not” (Deuteronomy 8:2). Here,  the Psalmist asks the Lord to test him to “see if there is any wicked way in me” (Psalm 139:24).

Israel was tested whether they wanted to be tested or not, the Psalmist is actually asking the Lord to test him. And part of what motivates him, is that he knows that this testing is necessary in order to be lead into “the way everlasting,” ar as Jesus puts it “life in all it’s fullness” (verse 24 again; John 10:10b). If voluntarily submitting to pain seems strange, know that it is the way of the cross. Indeed “If anyone would be my disciple, he must take up his cross daily and follow me” )Matthew 16L24).  If Jesus had to be made perfect by the things that He suffered (Hebrews 5:8,9) why should we expect anything else? There is a real sense in which what the Psalmist is doing here, is voluntarily entering into the type of recovery we are discussing in these posts. We cannot avoid suffering (1 Peter 4:12), but know that to suffer redemptively is well pleasing to God (1 Peter 2:20).

With regard to this, I am more and more impressed with the genius of twelve-step programs which in fact facilitates, and can accelerate the process. The steps of course are thoroughly Biblical, and were put together by Christians. As I keep saying, the steps particularly powerful when Christ is embraces as the “higher power.” The fourth step is “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” Since the original idea was to include those who could not yet acknowledge Christ, the step had to be written this way. But the full power of it comes when we do it the Psalmist’s way asking God to help in the process.  I found it helpful to start with making a list of all people who had hurt me, and then asking God to show me either my part in it all, or how I had responded in a way that displeased Him. There is much more in this step of course, but like most of us the initial default response is blame, and I needed to get past it!

Father, Your ways are best, even if they are difficult. Lord I want to come through as gold,and I want my heart to be pure. The words of a song come to mind “And if I have to suffer, I know that You've been there, and I know that You're here now.” We need Your grace Lord, we cannot do it without You, but Lord in and through the suffering You are making us more like Jesus, and bringing fruit for Kingdom (Romans 8:29). And for this, and many other things,  I give You praise and Glory Lord in Jesus Name Amen