Sarah dies, Abraham barters for a burial site

Sarah died in Hebron at 127.   Abraham tells the sons of Heth that  he is a sojourner among them,  and asks for a place to bury her. Saying that he is a prince of God,  they offer any of their burial places, but Abraham calls for Ethron who owns a field with a cave  at the end. He wants to buy the cave. Ethron offers both the cave and the field for free. Abraham insists on paying, Ethron names the price and Abraham pays it.  Thus the field and the cave were deeded to Abraham,  and Sarah is buried in the cave  (Genesis 23:1-20).

The  exchange between Abraham and Ethron is public,  and serves in what would today be conducted before lawyers. The commentators agree that while the exchange is conducted in the utmost politeness, the apparent generosity is only that, apparent.  There is no such thing as a free lunch.  Knowing that Abraham was very wealthy, Ethron would have expected lavish gifts in return, probably more than the fair value for the purchase. Also Abraham only wants to buy the cave, and in a shrewd move Ethron offers both the cave and the field for free.  It is a game, Abraham can now no longer enter into true negotiation with the traditional give and take. He must take the first figure Ethron mentions for fear of insulting him in light of the  “generous offer” to gift it.

It's important to be exposed to other cultures, and other ways of doing things. As a landlord at time renting to international students, I often find them wanting to negotiate the price. I tell them ours is not a bartering culture, and that's a pity, because the very process of the exchange builds relationships. On the other hand the “my way or the highway” approach of the West, can actually sabotage them.  

The West is not without negotiation period, for example buying a house, or  a garage sale (how much do you want for your garage?). But it's not true negotiation, and has to end within one, or two offers at the most.  In some cultures the bargaining can go on for days!  Many items on the want ads are fixed and rigid. People  don't seem to realize that you start higher than your bottom line. That way both parties feel they have a bargain, it's win, win!  Bartering can spill over into the wider culture. A wall hanging in Swahili  reads “The secret of peace in marriage is negotiation.” We don't seem to know how to do this in the West! Too often it is indeed “my way or the highway!” The Biblical way is as iron sharpening iron in loving,  humble,  respectful dialog (Proverbs 27:17; Ephesians 5:33; Galatians 6:1). It needs to be two people against a problem rather than two people against each other!

A sojourner is a person who resides temporarily somewhere. Abraham waited for the New Jerusalem whose foundations and builder is God (Hebrews 11:10). We're in the same boat, and if we really got a hold of this, we would live differently!

Father, this world is not our home, and we need to live in the world but not be of the world. Help us to live counter culturally,  valuing the Judaeo-Christain heritage that we have inherited. Help us to embrace the good and work towards changing the bad. Revolution is not change! We need to be wise as serpents and as harmless as dove and we need Your help in Jesus Name Amen