Marriage in different cultures

After it became clear that Rebekah was the wife the Lord had  for Isaac, her brother and father  give permission for the servant to take her and go. The servant is eager to leave the very next morning, but her mother wanted her for a few more days.  Rebekah is asked her opinion, she is willing to go,  and the matter is settled  (Genesis 24:29-58).

A casual reading of this passage might lead one to think that the only choice Rebekah had,  was that of the timing. But the servant had asked to be released from his vow if “she is not willing to come” (verse 8). What is different from our culture,  is that the father had the ultimate decision to allow it or not. We have perhaps gone to the other extreme,  and regard it as none of the parents business.  I know of a situation where a young couple rushed into marriage rather than endure a period of separation. He told me afterwards all that needed to have happened,  was for the the father of the bride to ask the man “Do you love her enough to wait?” They had concluded that if they resisted she would have got pregnant, but they had not counted on him. And he told me the question would have avoided the subsequent disaster, for he would have waited, and he knows the relationship would have fallen apart during the separation. If a relationship is not strong enough to endure a years separation say, what does that say about the ability of the relationship to endure the trials of marriage? Remember Jordon Peterson's “You're trouble,  and so am I!” To quote Paul “those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this” (1 Corinthians 7:28).  

Another area that is so very different from ours, is that Rebekah was a virgin (verse 16).  But this was the norm in Biblical times. In fact if a man seduced a virgin,  he was required to marry her,  to pay the dowry,  and not be permitted to divorce her (Deuteronomy 22:28, 29). If we believers want to do things the Lord's way, we need to come back to the commanded purity. If it is too late, as it is or was for many of us,  we need to come to a second virginity, namely abstinence outside of marriage.  And since “whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28), this abstinence needs to include from pornography.

There are always reasons for God's “no.” Love in our culture has just one word,  and it is hard to distinguish it from lust. The Greek has three words. Overly simplistically there is agape – unconditional love demonstrated by the Lord on the cross. A second word is phileo – friendship love. Then there is eros, erotic or sexual love. The point is that if we engage in eros before friendship love, is established, then when the magic wears off as it will inevitably without friendship, there is noting to fall back on.

Father, I thank You for the picture You gave of salvation as the new birth (John 3:3).  It is all about being able to start over,  no matter how much we have blown it. Thank You for forgiveness, thank You for redemption,  thank You that  You make all things beautiful in Your time when we fully  embrace Your Grace to help us (Ecclesiastes 3:11; Hebrews 4:16) in Jesus Name Amen