Many who have made vows such as the above, have later discovered to their horror, that in spite of the vow, they have become the very thing they determined they would not become. Actually if the truth be known, it is not so much in spite of the vow, but because of it. What such inner vows do, is to tie our spirit to the very person against who we have made the vow. Its the same with bitterness, bitterness imprisons of us to the memories of what that person has done. In both cases the negative becomes the focus, and is usually destructive. One of the teachings that come out of the principles of Biblical recovery, is that in order to be free, we need to break these ungodly soul ties, things that “knot” us to the other person in unhelpful ways (July 7th's post).
It is the same sort of thing that happens when the rebellious teen leaves home, only to find that though they left physically, they are still very much (one way or the other) emotionally tied there. “I can't get mum and dad off my mind” - and its not thoughts of love!
The title of yesterday’s post included the phrase “lovingly untangled”. There is a right way and a wrong way to untangle a knot. The knife should be the absolute last resort. In this throw away society, it is so often the first. You see when we use the knife, it cuts into both of us, and cuts deeply. In the break up of a marriage it cuts the children too, and leaves them scarred for life. In the end not one of us does it completely right. In this respect, some of us fall shorter than others do, but all fall short. When I think of these things, I thank God for His extravagant forgiveness and restoration.
Two thousand years and more later, modern Psychology is beginning to rediscover, and to see the need for, these things. “These things” include other Biblical principles, such as forgiveness of each other, respect, gentleness, listening, being willing, as much as is possible within us, to live at peace with all. This stuff is not only right, it is smart. “If the son shall set you free, you will be free indeed”.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Well, I'd never like to be like my father as he was when I was fifteen -- but I would very much like to be more like him now. I'm amazed at how wise he's managed to become as I've grown older.
ReplyDeleteWe need to thank God for fathers who left us a good inheritance, with positive self worth, and who we know loved us. It seems to be rarer than it should be, but nobody is perfect, that's for sure. I know I am not. Just ask my children!
ReplyDelete