The Sins of the Fathers (and mothers) are visited on the Children to the third and fourth generation

Where I have found Psychology useful is when it has thrown light on Biblical laws and principles. Perhaps the clearest example has to do with how the sins of the fathers are visited 'on the children to the third and fourth generation of those that hate me'.  Though it does not use this language, Psychology has embraced the “law” behind this statement (several thousand years after the Bible stated it,  by the way). It is well know for example,  that children of alcoholics are more likely to become alcoholics than in the general population. Or take suicide, it unfortunately  tends to run in the family.  These and other sins tend to act more like pressures and examples that tend to be followed,  rather than absolute laws that will always hold. They can for example skip a generation, and appear in the grandchildren, or in the great grandchildren, unto “the third and fourth generation”.

Where Psychology is particularly useful here, is in the gathering of data that shows clearly that dysfunctional pattern do in fact get repeated over and over and over.  Thus Psychology verifies that this is a kind of law. One of the tools that Psychology has employed is called the genogram. This is a kind of family tree where “unhelpful behaviour patterns” are also recorded.  The point of course,  is to recognize and acknowledge that such patterns to indeed tend to reoccur.  The hope is that if we can predict the behaviour, we can prevent the recurrence.  The principle I suppose,  is that to be forewarned is to be forearmed.   Psychology sees the problem, the statistics relating to how Psychology has helped to prevent recurrence of these patterns though, are not encouraging. 

As always, the Bible has the solution.  The quotation of the title of this post  is found in the middle of the ten commandments.  It seems to be well known even by those who do not read the Bible. The verse that follows it is not so well known, but it contains a promise. It starts with  a “But”, "but steadfast love and mercy to thousands of generations of those who love me, and obey my commandments" (Exodus 20:6). I thank God for the “buts” of the Bible.  A “but” changes everything. For example “I won a million dollars on the lottery, but I lost the ticket”! The 'but' of Exodus 20:26, shows us how to change a curse into a blessing!

The Bible often puts things in stark terms to make a point (see unless you hate father and mother …). Hate of God and disobedience,  and love of God and obedience are equated here and elsewhere in the Bible.  For example “He who says he loves God and hates his brother is a liar”. Going through religious motions are not enough.   God is neither mocked not fooled.  These (inter-generational) curses and curses they are, are not broken just by turning to Him for salvation. They are broken by the costly obedience to His Laws and His Principles, for those who both love and obey Him!

No one is saying these things are  easy. Supernatural intervention is needed in order to break the (known and unknown) patterns of sin which have been entrenched generation after generation.  One of the helps is the motivation contained in the principle (law) itself. God knows our heart. You see most parents I know, when their children are ill,  would rather be ill themselves than have their kids sick. What I am saying is that if and when we start to see that our being stuck keeps our children and grandchildren and great grandchildren stuck too (third and fourth generation), then this provides a great motivation for us to go forward with what we might not be otherwise willing to do. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us, but God cannot steer a parked car. We need to move out in obedience. It is when we move in obedience that we hear the voice behind us saying 'this is the way walk in it'.  It is as we obey that He gives us the strength to do and to carry through what we cannot do without Him.

I said above, that these things are curses, and these curses need to be broken by the power of the Cross.  There are Biblical principles which show us the “what” and the  “how”  of this. One of the clearest expositions of these things can be found in the Kelstra's Restoring the Foundations workbook.  Briefly we need to start by acknowledging the patterns. Confession of our families /countries/ethnic  sins has strong Biblical warrant. This is not the same as taking the blame for them. We are not responsible for the sins of our ancestors, we are responsible for our response to them. Admitting a family fault though, can be difficult in and of itself.  Often such admission breaks the unspoken and unwritten but strongly held family rules (don't think, don't feel, don't speak, don't rock the boat), but it is an important first step. Often there are lies associated with these sins.   We confess and repent of our own involvement in these things, then we apply the provision of the cross. As the scripture puts it Jesus became a curse that we might receive the blessing of God.   This provision of the Cross it one of many divine exchanges. He takes our curse, we take the blessing of His perfection. It just part of the good news of the gospel.