How terrible never to have failed / never to have suffered loss. It's all right for you buddy!

I was recently asked if I love Christmas. I love that God sent His Son, and it is good to be reminded of the humility in which He came. I love that Jesus came to this sin filled world, and that the one behind the season the reason for the season (Jesus), is with me always. But Christmas is difficult for me and for many others. When I was recently asked how I could be prayed for I mentioned this and was told “We are not lonely when we have Jesus”. The Bible though tells us “it is not good that man should be alone.” I know that is it theologically correct to say that we do not need to be lonely, because Jesus is always with us, and while I have not suffered the losses that even many that I know have suffered, I am always more aware of my losses at this time of the year. I have still not adjusted to retirement, and sometimes the long hours that stretch ahead of me leave me with a gnawing loneliness. But I am not looking for pity here, I am just protesting the trite theological answers that get thrown up at me, and at others who are suffering far more deeply that I am.

I know that it is true that all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purposes (Romans 8:28), but I have had this verse thrown at me betimes, as a kick in the pants. “What is wrong with you, God is working this out for your good, get a life”. No doubt there were times when I needed such a kick in the pants, but I can't say I ever appreciate it (at least not at the time). And part of it is the way such things were given, or even that they were given in sincerity with a desire to help, but by someone who had not yet suffered significant failure or loss (and so done without any real empathy). In such cases I have wanted to say “Don't worry brother it will come to you too!”

But where does empathy come from, and why is it absent in so many? Let's start by considering the fact that theological truth, if it is indeed truth, though often hard to take, always has a practical and a redemptive side. Take Romans 8:28 (quoted above). It is certainly true that if I love God, He is working for my good within the evil that surrounds me. It is His promise. But this does not mean that I see it, or ever feel it. Sometimes things get worse before they get better. Nor does it mean that receiving/embracing this truth and living in the light of it, is easy. The point though is that the practical side of such theological truths will not even start to kick in, until we do start to receive them, and continue to receive them, with faith. God is in this for the long haul, and it goes against the grain of our modern world that demands instant solutions. But “those who endure to the end will be saved (delivered)” (Matthew 10:22). He is interested in the forging of our character, and this does not happen overnight! In the very next verse after Romans 8:28, Paul tells us that part of the good is that we are made more like Jesus, and that in submitting to it we bear much fruit!

The first part of the title of the post comes from something M. Scott Peck wrote (I don't remember where). He was telling of the reaction of a Nun to his revelation that his marriage was in trouble. “How terrible never to have failed” was her considered reply. I do not know how this was spoken, but in any case I am sure it was hard to take. Her point however was that if we cooperate with Him, God will use our suffering to refine us, and until we have suffered, we are more than likely to give unhelpful answers to those around us who are in need. We were talking the other day of the need to be real. If our Christianity consists of trying to show others how good we are, we will never be any good to them. It is the continual returning to Him in our times of trial and failure, that our Christianity is seen to be real (and hence point the way to others). Even when we are painfully aware that have let Him down over and over, He will use this for our good, if we let Him. We do need to repent and to turn, of course, but I have found that such times draw me closer to Him as I cry out for deliverance and mercy, as I thank Him for His faithfulness to forgive, and claim the cleansing that His blood affords. Paul talks about a godly sorrow that leads to repentance and zeal for the Lord (2 Corinthians 7:10,11). What an amazing God who can even use my sin and failures for ultimate good. The fact is, that it is many times the trials and the failures that draw us close to Him. And when we allow Him to work in us, in and through these things, then they advance the Kingdom.

And the way this works is that it is and through the grace that we receive from Him in our trials, that we have something to pass on to others. He is the God of all comfort, in receiving His comfort we testify to its reality, and draw others into it (2 Corinthians 1: 3,4). If we have never suffered, then we will not have experienced His comfort in our suffering, and we will have nothing to pass on. How terrible never to have failed (or to pretend that we have not)! It is when we are weak that we are strong!