Do you want to be made whole?

This is the question that Jesus asked the cripple lying by the pool of Bethesda. He had been there for 38 years waiting for the angel to stir the waters. We are told that the first one in after the waters were stirred got healed. But he was a cripple with no one to help him, so he was never first. And he had been there for 38 long, long years, just waiting to be healed. Then Jesus comes along and asks “Do you want to be made whole?”



It's tempting to respond “Jesus, I don’t mean to be impertinent, but what kind of a question is that? The man has been there for 38 years just waiting to be healed. Isn't it obvious?” But actually the answer is far from obvious. I could imagine the man saying “Will I have to get a job? Will I have to leave here? The only people I have ever known are right here. Where will I go? What will I do?”

Sometimes we feel that the Devil we know is better than the Devil we don't know. Recovery is not easy, change can be frightening. At least I have not found it to be easy. There are many things that can keep us stuck. Fear is certainly a biggie. Sometimes there are advantages that we don't want to give up, the companionship of other drunks, the respect and sympathy the spouse of the alcoholic gets from friends for putting up with the drunk. And then there is denial, denial that we even need to change. If you add to this our inherent laziness and double mindedness, it is no wonder most choose to stay stuck. “Lord help me to change, but not yet, just one more binge”. We want to get rid of the pain, but we want instant and painless solutions.

I don't hear this as often these days, probably because fewer people smoke, but one of the things I used to hear a lot was “I can give up smoking anytime I want to. I just don't want to”. I know (used to know) people who had quit cold turkey, and never had a cigarette again. But they told me they never lost the craving. Unless you have had (or still have) a serious addiction and have tried to give it up, you may not realize just how difficult it is. And its not just booze, drugs and pornography we get stuck in, there are many hidden addictions such as gossip, anger, hate, obsessive thinking (where the thoughts go round and round and round) etc. We can easily find ourselves in prisons of fear, shame and control. We find ourselves trapped in cycles of poverty, depression and in repeated family patterns of dysfunction. Most of us are too weak to get out of it on our own. For my own part I need help, I need healing and I need to have my desires changed. God is the only one who can do these things and He does and will when we let Him, when we fully cooperate with Him.

But a casual approach to recovery will not cut the mustard. How many alcoholics fool themselves into believing they can control their addiction. One writer puts it this way “The idea that somehow, someday they will control and enjoy their drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death”. But it's not just with the more obvious addictions that we need to take drastic measures. The things that keep us stuck act like cancer in our lives. If you have cancer and they need to operate, how much do you want them to leave behind? The introductory blurb from AA challenges “half measures profited us nothing.” The promises of life in its fullness, and real freedom in the here and now, comes with absolute surrender to Him (John 10:10; 8:31-36; Romans 12:1,2).

So, do you want to be made whole? We need to count the cost. Are you willing to count the cost? Are you willing to let God show you the things that hinder so that with His help they may be taken away, and then again by His Grace add the things that aid us in our recovery.

I invite you to pray with me: God I want to be made whole. I choose to trust that You know best, and as part of that trust, I am willing to pay the price. Please open my eyes to the things that hinder, to Your truth and Your ways and give me the grace and the wherewithal to change so that I might begin (continue in) the process of becoming whole.