It takes a village to build, nurture and restore relationships (I) Proactivity

In the breakup of my second marriage there was neither person nor institution there, to come alongside and hold us accountable to our vows. I knew well that what was needed was a neutral third party, who would be able to help us to hear one another, someone who we both respected and therefore whose advice would carry weight with us both. It didn’t happen, and it wasn’t going to happen. It wasn’t that I didn’t try to find such a resource, I did! It simply was not there! It’s not supposed to be like that! But more and more, it’s exactly like that, in the increasing isolationism of our Western culture, even in church.

In fact in terms of taking responsibility, the church has by and large swung from the place where a divorced person was forbidden to remarry, where divorced persons were essentially outcasts in church, to the place where people fall in and out of marriage with nary a word spoken, with zero accountability, and little or no available help. It’s as though it’s none of our business! But while we must not busy bodies, this stance is soundly un-Biblical. I’m not suggesting that we returned to the rigid, often judgemental attitude towards divorce, and in a way the title of the post says it all. It is of course intended to be an echo of the saying it takes a village to raise a child. What I am saying, is that our Churches need to be proactively building, nurturing and restoring relationships as part of its very fabric.

And why do I say this? Well, it is very clear to me that in this day and age, the thief has focused his agenda to kill, steal and destroy on marriages and the family (John 10:10a). I keep mentioning twelve-step programs, and I do so, because the recovery principles that lie behind the steps, are thoroughly Biblical. It is most effective when the higher power is the God of the Bible, but certainly it’s not the only Biblically-based recovery ministry. These programs and ministers are not just for those caught up in addictions, they are for anyone with hurts, habits and hangups. In other words they are for each and every one of us. But what I want to say this morning, is that if the church is to be the salt and light in this wicked and hurting world, it needs to be proactive in this area. It needs to take up its Biblically mandated responsibility to teach Biblically-based recovery principles, and to be the Lord’s hands and feet in a primary agenda of His to heal broken hearts, and to set the captives free, and so to bring life in all it's fullness (Luke 4:18; John 10:10b).

Father, certainly is not just relationships where we need help, but inevitably if we don't deal with our baggage, then our relationships will suffer. Perhaps we need to see relationship difficulties as a symptom of something deeper, something that needs to be dealt with. Teach us Lord, teach me, to see each and every difficulty in life, as an opportunity for growth, an opportunity to draw close to You, an opportunity to show the world that You are real by the way that we do life. And we will of course, give You the glory and the honour in Jesus Name Amen