God’s blueprint for marriage IV: One Flesh

One of the ways the Bible speaks about sexual intimacy is becoming one flesh (Genesis 2:24).  The modern world tends to see sex as something purely physical, and clearly, as with a prostitute (1 Corinthians 6:16),  it can be little more than that. But God's intention is for something far greater, far more intimate. Today sex is seen as only a little more significant, than a kiss.  Multiple sexual liaisons are seen as quite normal, giving rise to such movies as “The 40 year old virgin.” Some have asked if it is even possible!

Years ago I was speaking to a young woman who came from a home where there was widespread sexual abuse of both her and her sisters, and her brothers. I remember saying that most of us believe we come from normal homes,  even when they are severely dysfunctional. She agreed with me concerning her own home. So what is normal? What is normal in the movies today was considered pornography only a few short years ago. Likewise yesteryear the “freedom” with which we jump in and our of bed with each other, would be regarded as abnormal, as it is among puffins! But actually such “freedom,” it's not really freedom at all (John 8:34, 32). In fact,  every time we engage in, and break “one flesh relationships,” the bonding God intended His gift to be is weakened.  In particular, when we have developed illicit sexual appetites, they don't diminish just because we get married! There are many negative consequences, for example strings of broken hearts and relationships, and a multitude of fatherless children.There is evidence of life long trauma in the adult offspring of one flesh breakups.

Now God is not against sex, He invented it, and gave it to us as a precious and beautiful gift. But if we are to follow His blueprint, it is to be used only in a life long one man, one woman relationship within marriage. We are to leave father and mother, cleave to our spouse, and only then become one flesh (Genesis 2:24; Acts 15:29).  And He gave these instructions for our provision,  and protection. Likely in this climate of this pseudo, hyper, sexuality, 99% of us have blown it in this area, I did! But like the recovering alcoholic I can say, without hypocrisy,  please don't do what I did, it will cause you and others, endless pain.  

Too late? There is forgiveness of course (1 John 1:9), but the consequences remain. I can ask forgiveness for getting someone pregnant, but she will still be pregnant! This brings me to the deeper truth behind the one flesh picture. We need to see it as a kind of soul and spirit crazy glue, so that it cannot be broken without me leaving something of myself in her, and her leaving something of herself in me.  In recover circles we call this an ungodly soul tie. There are prayerful procedures for breaking such ties  (google ungodly soul ties)

Father thank You for Your wonderful gift of sexuality. Most of us have abused it Lord and I for one repent this morning. Thank You for forgiveness!  The sex urge is very strong Lord, so help us to not abuse Your forgiveness. Help us Lord, wherever it is possible without causing harm, to make amends, thus bearing fruit worthy of repentance. Thank You Lord that if we press into You, You will restore the years of destruction that the “locusts” have eaten (Joel 2:25) in Jesus Name amen