Blueprint VI: Body, soul and spirit

There is much in the secular and faith based literature to help us in our relationship difficulties. But many times our difficulty are less  about knowing what to do, but rather doing it (Romans 7:18).  Paul describes this inability as our being dead in trespasses and sins. But then though the new birth, God has made us “alive together with Christ” (Ephesians 2:1, 5). Our spirit is made alive, because the Spirit of God comes and dwells in us (2 Corinthian 1:22). And when we are lead by His Spirit, He comes and works in us. What that means is that together with Him we are able to do what without Him we cannot do (Galatians 5:16; 4:13). Long story short, many of the things we need to do, and do well in relationships in general, and in the marriage relationship in particular, are only possible when we fully embrace the help that comes through partnership with the Holy Spirit. Which one of us truly loves well?

God has already provided the believer with everything he or she needs to live life in all its fullness (2 Peter 1:3; John 10:10b).  Salvation is free (Ephesians 2:8, 9), but tapping into everything He has for us, will cost us everything we are and have. Only living sacrifices experience transformation from glory to glory (Romans 12:1, 2; 2 Corinthians 3:18). There are promises to be claimed.  One is that when we work all this out with fear and trembling, He works not only in the wherewithal (the grace) to do His will, but also work in those stubborn , often debilitating emotions to bring them too into line (Philippians 2:12, 13).

The grace of which I speak is particularly important when we are wrestling with such things as bitterness and resentment. If we don't deal with these things, particularly with our parents, this bitterness will poison all relationships (Hebrews 12:15). In it will also sabotage our bonding.  If we are having difficulty to forgive, we need His grace, and we need Him to work in our emotions. Again it all starts with absolute surrender.

Since we are talking largely in the context of marriage we also need to understand that the believer is forbidden to marry an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14). God's instructions are as always for our provision and protection, and the following illustration expresses well the danger of mixed marriages.  Our relationship to God and each other is pictured with God at the top of a triangle, and ourselves on opposite sides of the base. The point is,  that we both move closer to God, then we move closer to each other.  But if one has that as our primary goal,  but the other does not then we will actually get further apart.  And the believer is then left with a choice, and sadly what so often happens is the believer stops growing. Our bonding of course will also be missing the important spiritual component.  Paul gives separate instructions for those for whom this admonition comes too late, or if in the meantime one  of the two becomes a believer  (1 Corinthians 7:12-16).

Father,  there is much truth in the saying that without God man cannot,  without man God will not. Most of the time You will not do for us what we can do for ourselves, that would be enabling. But You  will help us with things we cannot do on our own. Indeed we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us (Philippians 4:13). For these,  and many other things,  we give You thanks and praise in Jesus Name Amen