God so loved, that He gave…

There’s a book by Townsend entitled “Hiding from love.” His point, is that out of fear, and bad experiences in the past, we are often reluctant to risk entering into new relationships. Townsend together with Dr. Cloud speak a lot about boundaries in relationships. Healthy boundaries need to have gates, that while keeping the bad out, can let the good in and let the bad out. If our boundaries are walls, then although at some level they may protect us, they also keep the bad in and the good out!

It’s helpful to know, or at least to hope, that a person we are entering into relationship with is safe. I know of many people, who often through bad teaching or otherwise shut God out. In particular they fear they will be condemned. But the verse following this partial quote from John 3:16 says “For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that through Him the world might be saved.”

Part of what I’m saying here, is that God is safe. John 3:16 is so well known, it’s easy to skip over what is actually saying. God so loved, that is God loved you and me in the most extraordinary way, that He sent his one and only Son in order that he can blot out our sins, and be both just and loving. A righteous judge has to punish our bad, our sin. But our righteous judge is the very essence of love (1 John 4:8) and, at incredible cost to himself, has punished His Son in our place so that we can go free (1 Peter 3:18).

So in fact, God is very safe, very good and very loving. Jesus said “He that hears my Word, and puts his trust in Him who sent Me, has everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but has passed from death unto life” (John 5:24).

Father, as I continued to mourn the passing of my dear friend Ruth, it is very obvious to me, that in spite of her deep woundedness, she was a channel of Your love to many. Her life challenges me this morning. Lord please deal with anything in my life that is in any way a hindrance to your love flowing through me. And I will give You all the honour, all the glory and all the praise in Jesus Name Amen

unless a seed die it abides alone

Have you ever wished you could make choices for others? I mean you see others making poor choices all the time, and it’s perfectly obvious to you, that the choices that they are making are destructive to themselves and others. On the other hand there are bright lights. I’m thinking of someone who told me not long ago “I did not realize how selfish I was until I got married!”

I happen to know that both parties in this marriage feel the same way, and there is much hope for this marriage! One way to describe what is happening in this marriage is to say that both parties are dying to their self-centredness. And the heart of the matter, is that at heart most of us are stubborn, self-centred and self-willed. We want what we want, and we want it now! It’s all about my rights, my goals, or in the words of a famous Beatles song “I, me, mine!”

The Scripture says, that we reap what we sow (Galatians 6:7). In other words if we make good choices there is good fruit, but if we make bad choices bad things come of it. And more often than not, the fruit of these bad choices is loneliness and isolation, we abide alone!

The quote at the head of this post from John 12: 24 continues with “but if it dies, it produces much fruit.” In context Jesus is talking about His coming crucifixion. It’s important to know this, because God never calls us to do something that he himself has not done, but in far greater measure.

This morning as I contemplate what to say at a memorial service for a friend of mine, I am very aware of two things. The first is how incredibly wounded she was, and the second is how in spite of this she was able to allow God to love many, many others through her. And my thoughts this morning centred around how to the extent that we are willing to let the Lord put to death the deeds and desires of our sinful nature, is the extent to which we are able to love others as channels of His love.

Father, I choose this morning to cooperate with You by Your spirit to put to death the deeds and the desires of the flesh (Romans 8:13). I know that we do not die easily to our selfishness. I do not! But Lord, I do desire that my life would produce much fruit for Your kingdom, and for Your glory In Jesus Name Amen

Hurt people hurt people!

There are some books you hardly need to read, because the title essentially says it all. In fact the title of this post is the name of one such book. What it means is that when we are hurt, our default response is to hurt others. We may not mean to, but more often than not we do! And who has not been hurt?

We are not responsible for the bad things that we receive at the hands of others, but we are responsible for our response to these things. And unless we deal with our hurts in a functional way, we will inevitably end up hurting others. But what does it mean to deal with our hurts in a functional way?

We need to know that among other things, Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted (Luke 4:18). And while I do not wish to undermine in any way the eternal aspect of the gift of life that comes with the gospel, there is an aspect of the gospel that I see many Christians missing out on. In particular many miss out on having their hearts healed.

Last day, I was talking about the benefits of forgiveness, and the need to let go of our victim mentality. Unless we do this, and we need help to do this, at least I did, we will not be healed, we will remain hurt, and inevitably go on to hurt others. it’s helpful to me to realize that those who hurt me were themselves hurt by people who were hurt etc. etc.

It’s not only in families, but it is supremely in families that this happens. In particular the sins of our ancestors impact is deeply (Exodus 20:5). But there is a principal/promise that follows this description of our generational dysfunction. In particular extracting the meaning of the next verse (Exodus 20:6) we are told that we can stop this cycle of hurt by yielding to God, choosing to love Him and our neighbours as ourselves. Jesus puts it this way “if you continue in my word, then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:31,32).

Father, these things are not an instant fix. I have learnt that consistent continuing in Your Word, and in obedience to it draws me deeper into Your love. This in turn helps me obey this commandment to love You. Thank You for the healing that You have brought to me, and continue to bring to me. I praise You this morning for You are faithful, and Your Word is true. I bless Your Name in Jesus Name Amen

Forgiveness: Psychology arrives thousands of years after the Bible

The connections between psychology and the Judeo-Christian faith have fascinated me for a very long time. In what is perhaps my limited knowledge of both psychology and the Scriptures, I have observed that whenever a psychological principle works, inevitably it can be found in the Scriptures. This morning I want to look at what both Psychology and the Scriptures say about forgiveness.

In the Psychology Today Blog (September 16, 2014) we read “And the truth is that forgiveness is more powerful than you might think. Just like with anything in life, there are costs to your choices. Staying angry, resentful, and vengeful comes at a price. All these feelings can have a detrimental impact on your physical and emotional health as well as your relationships.

Psychologically, when people reported higher levels of forgiveness, they also tended to report better health habits and decreased depression, anxiety, and anger levels. Even in betrayed couples, greater levels of forgiveness were associated with more satisfied relationships, a stronger parenting alliance, and children's perceptions of parenting functioning. Physiologically, higher reported levels of forgiveness were associated with lower white blood cell count and hematocrit levels. White blood cells are an integral part of fighting off diseases and infections. Together, these results highlight the importance of forgiveness - not for the other person, but for you. Don't allow your mind and your body to go through another day feeling vengeful and angry.”

From the spiritual point of view, I want to pick up on what the article says about both the impact and the cost of forgiveness/unforgiveness. In particular there is a spiritual impact and cost to unforgiveness. Jesus taught us to ask God to forgive us for what we have done wrong, in exactly the same way that we forgive others for the things that they have done to us. He goes on to say that if we do not forgive, neither will we be forgiven. If you think about this, this is just! And this has to be one of the more scary prayers to pray. As I have said before what I want when I die is mercy, not justice. So firstly then from a spiritual point of view, we need to forgive others, because we ourselves need to be forgiven!

The article also talks about the cost of unforgiveness. But there is a cost to forgiveness too. To be told that we need to forgive someone who has abused us for example, can seem as abusive as the original abuse. And in this and other cases, the cost of forgiving others can seem too high! The point though, as we have been discussing, is that we need to forgive for our own sake, not for theirs.

So in fact the victim needs to be a better person than the abuser. It’s the same, but actually far, far greater in our relationship with God. God needed to find a way to be both just and merciful, and He did this by sending Jesus to die on the cross for our sins. An analogy might be helpful. If we are taken to court and sentenced to a huge fine which we are unable to pay, then both justice and mercy can be served by the judge paying our fine for us. This is what Jesus did, for “The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord” (Romans 6:23). A gift of course, has to be received. Have you received it yet?

Father, help me never to take for granted the incredible cost of my salvation. Help me to remember this in times when I find it difficult to let go of my resentment and unforgiveness. I Love You Lord in Jesus Name Amen

The Christian’s hope, an anchor for the soul

We have just had to say goodbye to a young woman, too young to have died, who touched many, many lives. One of her friends expressed the hope that she is in heaven, and I was able to assure her that indeed she is. And I could do this, because the Christian’s hope is a sure hope, and as the context of the title of this post from Hebrews 6:19 tells us, it’s based on the character and promise of the One who cannot lie.

Some like to think that God will weight their good and bad deeds. That is not my hope! First of all, that is not how justice works. Our guilt or lack thereof, has nothing to do with whether we help little old ladies across the street or not. As for me, what I want when I die, is mercy not justice. If I had to wait until I die to find out if I was good enough for heaven, this hope would not be an anchor for my soul!

The Christian’s hope is an anchor, because it sets us free to be all that we can be. I discovered an illustration of this while rereading some of the books I read as a boy. I loved C. S. Forrester’s Hornblower series. In one particular novel, Hornblower was tasked with recovering gold from a sunken Galleon. The hot tempered surgeon had shot, in a dual, the Philippine diver who was the hope of this recovery. Hornblower told the surgeon that if the diver died, so would he. The surgeon, who needed to remove the bullet from the diver, implored Hornblower to release him from the threat. “If, at a critical point in the operation, I remember your threat,” he told Hornblower, “it could cause my hand to tremble, and what you intend to make me do my best, could be the very thing that brings failure!”

Hornblower in his wisdom, releases the surgeon, who is then set free to do his best. Likewise the Christian is set free from the threat of eternal judgement to do his or her very best. What was so impressive about my friend, was that although she was a deeply troubled individual she was, because of the hope within her, able many times by the power of the Holy Spirit to minister to others in a very loving and effective way.

Father, I thank you for the life of my friend who, in spite of her pain, was able to live out the reality of the hope within her. It was indeed an anchor for her soul. Help me so to live, in Jesus Name Amen

know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins.

Is it always wrong to knowingly do or say something that will hurt another person? Certainly we should avoid hurting others whenever possible. But sometimes the goals of doing the right thing and of not hurting someone are incompatible. Let me explain.

It’s very difficult at times to come to terms with the truth, in particular to admit that something we have been doing is wrong. And it is so difficult, that many times we may need help to see it. I am saying this, because while we may know that the right thing to do is to come alongside someone and seek to turn them from the error of their way, it’s not always well received. Sometimes hearing the truth can hurt!

This is certainly true in my own experience in both giving and receiving the truth. On my heart this morning, are some things that I felt I needed to say that were not well received. This person became very angry, and the relationship is still not healed. So does that mean I should not have said what I did?

In situations like this, it’s very easy to second-guess yourself. But the Lord recently brought the above verse from James 5:20 to my attention, and with it the assurance that I did the right thing. I have to trust Him with this, and to know that although the outcome still does not look positive, the story is not yet over!

Father, thank You for Your assurance this morning, that I did the right thing. A parallel verse from Galatians 6:1 is also coming to mind telling me of my obligation to seek to restore in gentleness and humility. And while I have not always done this well, I know that You will redeem what was lacking in my approach. Thank You Lord that You promise that You work for good even in this, especially in this (Romans 8:28). I give You all the honour and the glory and the praise in Jesus Name Amen

The heart is deceitful above all and desperately wicked

Have you ever noticed that it’s very easy to see the faults in others, but not so easy to see them in ourselves? Have you noticed that people are more ready to blame others, that to take responsibility for their part in whatever went wrong. Have you observed that other people tend to minimize their own faults, while at the same time maximizing the other person’s? Have you ever thought that most people seem to have things out of balance, but when you look at your own life you seem to be perfectly in balance?

When I think about this, I like to ask myself if everyone else I see is blind and out of balance, can I be the only one who is not? And if I am honest, I put the probability of this null hypothesis being true, as very close to zero.

So why is this, why are we all so blind to our own faults? I got into trouble, even among Christians, for quoting this verse at the head of this post from Jeremiah 17:9. The reality, the truth, and the applicability of this to my own life, came home to me in a very dramatic way many years ago now. I had gone through a broken marriage, and had blamed her 100% for what went wrong. So convinced was I, that she was evil that I had murder in my heart. And the scary thing for me, is that I am not at all sure that I would not have gone through with it if I thought I could’ve gotten away with it. But when the Holy Spirit convicted me of sin, I started to see that I was very far from blameless, I was devastated. I am grateful however, that He showed this to me, because when He did, two important things happened.

The first was that I started to see that there was much truth and wisdom in the Scriptures. I was saying things like “This book knows me!” In particular it knows my propensity to rationalize my actions and to blame others rather than take responsibility for them. I saw truly that my heart had deceived me. The second thing, was I started to see my need for Him and His guidance, and this led to my repentance, subsequent conversion, and the start of a life worth living!

Father, thank You for revealing to me how very much I need You, and how very much I needed to be rescued from myself. Thank You Lord that Your ways are good and right and wholesome, and that they increasingly bring life in all its fullness (John 10:10b). In Jesus Name Amen