A person's wisdom yields patience; it is to one's glory to overlook an offence. Pr 19:11

There is something seductive about wanting to hang on to an offence. I mean, if I let go of it, he or she will get away with it. And if I hang onto it, I can show them clearly how I feel about them. At the very least, they deserve my punishing silences!

Well maybe, but many times they may have no idea why we are annoyed, and when we make decisions based on moments of deep hurt or anger, we can permanantly poison a relationship. I have been there and done that, and well probably we all have!

This is not to say that we should let people walk all over us. But I find that if I am wanting to give someone a piece of my mind, that I need to wait, to process it and to make sure my ultimate motive is to bring peace, and not just to show them that I am right and they are wrong!

It’s complicated, because there are certainly times when it is not good either for the other person, or for the relationship, to let them get away with things. This is especially true when the offence happens over and over. On the other hand, I sometimes find that my emotions want to overrule the command to, as much as lies within us to live at peace with all (Romans 12:18).

And this is where wisdom comes in. I find that when I surrender the offence to Him, get my will in neutral being willing to let go, or to gently and humbly bring it to the other person’s attention (Galatians 6:1), then the Lord always guides and leads me into what He wants me to do, and His solution is always the best one.

That’s not so say that it is easy, or that it might not end as we would wish it to. The point is there are some situations and relationships that, for whatever reason, are intransigent and immovable. And you know that if you bring the issue up it will not go well, at least in the short term. This does not mean it should not be brought up, we may need to do this for our own sanity. But if, in such circumstances, we do decide to go ahead, we need to be prepared for the pushback and be willing to accept the consequences. In all of this we need wisdom, but as the verse says when we decide to overlook the offence, and I would add, if we are not doing it out of cowardice, then is it to our glory.

This morning the Lord brought the verse of this heading to my attention. It was a word in season! In doing so, He clearly showed me what He wanted me to do in this instance. In my own human wisdom (and probably because of my hurt) I would likely have rationalized using Galatians 6:1, rather Proverbs 19:11. Clearly we can’t do both, but He will show us which principle to use if we ask Him.

Serenity prayer: Father grant me the serenity to accept those things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.