A soft answer turns away wrath

..... But a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness (Proverbs 15:1, 2). A soft or gentle response to anger can prevent its escalation, it can redirect it, and even calm it. But these sayings are proverbs, not exact spiritual law. A proverb describes trends, the way things tend to work. What for example is almost universally true is that a harsh response to anger tends to stir it up and make things worse. The proverb is giving advice as to the best way to meet anger. It is not with more anger, rather it is with a soft and gentle response, a response that exhibits a spirit of sweet reasonableness. The second stanza of verse 1 (a harsh word ... ) is relevant both to the one responding and to the one initiating any exchange.

At the risk of being misunderstood I want to say that many believers have confused timidity with humility, and conflict avoidance with spirituality. We are to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15), and there are times when no matter how softly, humbly and lovingly we speak the truth, anger and wrath can result. We also need to realize that withholding truth at times can be unloving, in and of itself. That's because only the truth can set us free (John 8:32). On the other hand there are those within the Christian community, who have gotten truth and love out of balance. The second part of the second verse (but the mouth ...) is applicable here. The phrase “verbal diarrhea” comes to mind, and another proverb tells that “In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, But he who restrains his lips is wise” (Proverbs 10:19). James tells us to be swift to hear, slow to speak and slow to wrath (James 1:19).

Coming to the first part of verse 2 (the tongue of the wise ...). There is a huge difference between wisdom and knowledge. There are many in academia who have lots of knowledge, but lack wisdom. Perhaps we can think of wisdom as good and appropriate and loving ways of using knowledge. A wife or a mother (or father) who nags, may well have knowledge and truth on her side, but does not realize that her nagging pushes the other person away. Scripture tells us there is a time to keep silent and a time to speak (Ecclesiastes 3:7). But wisdom here is not just about when to speak, it is how, and how much, and with what attitude. What we say and how we say it. Paul puts it this way “Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one” (Colossians 4:6).

Father, James tells us that if we do not ever offend in tongue, we are a perfect man (3:2). I am not there yet Lord. Thank Your for this morning's proverbs that show us how to live. And when we have done our best and offence is still taken, help us not to second guess ourselves (unless You ask us to). They took offence at Jesus (John 6:61, 66). Father help us so to walk that the only offence that comes is the offence of the Cross (1 Corinthians 1:18) in Jesus Name Amen