A deep and intimate relationship cannot be established without a period of conflict or mutual suffering

This seems to be true even of our relationship with God. The Biblical heroes of the faith exemplify this. I can think of the suffering of David and Joseph, and of Jacob wrestling with God (Genesis 32:22-31). It does take two. For God’s part, He is always willing, and so in terms of our relationship with Him, it is all about our willingness to take up our cross and follow Him (Romans 12:18). In terms of earthly relationships we are admonished as much as is possible to live at peace with each other (Romans 12:18). It may not be possible! I or the other person may be too wounded, or feel too betrayed, or it may not be safe! One or the other of us may not be ready to make the necessary changes. We may not be willing to humble ourselves and come together to the foot of the cross where we see that there is no difference, for all have sinned and come short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). It does as I say, take two!

We need to know that wrestling through our conflicts, is Kingdom work. The Lord has told us clearly in His Word, that His primary purpose in the World, is the reconciliation of all things, both things in heaven and on earth (Ephesians 1:10). Is it any wonder that this is hard, especially when you consider that the Evil One has an agenda to kill, steal and destroy (John 10:10a). And he has a lot of ammunition, I mean not one of us is perfect, not by a long shot! And given our propensity to blame, to minimize our own faults, and to maximize the other person’s, it is far too easy the focus our attention on the shortcomings of the other. Those pesky “irreconcilable differences” that are so often used as an excuse to give up, these excuses, and they are excuses, hide our unwillingness to engage in the process of being sharpened as iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17). In other words a lot of it is essentially conflict avoidance!

And part of the reason it is so hard, is that it is so unfair. I mean in light of what I said above, we are likely to be assigned a disproportional share of the blame, and misunderstandings and false accusations are likely to be made. Words can be spoken in haste that cannot be taken back. The Evil One is likely to whisper judgemental statements into our hearts, and when we are hurt, we are far more likely to embrace both his judgement (he is the accuser of the brethren Revelation 12:10) as well as his lies (he is the father of lies John 8:44). But what the enemy means for evil, God means it for our good (Genesis 50:20). And if we let Him, He will use it to form an unbreakable bond. It seems to be a law, that the greater the conflict, the greater potential for bonding. We do need to overcome, for it to be a stage, a period, for the conflict to not last forever. And at the risk of becoming boring, that takes two too!

Father, it seems that the closer I get to You, the more painful are the relationships that remain unhealed. And I’m thinking Lord, that this is part of the fellowship of Your sufferings (Philippians 3:10). We need Your help Lord to persevere, I do! But I want to thank You again this morning Lord for Your precious promise that You truly are working all things together for my good, and You are making me more like Jesus, and more fruitful for the Kingdom (Romans 8:28, 29). And I choose this morning again Lord, to take up my cross and to follow You. I need your Grace to do this, but I thank You that Your grace is so readily available in and through Jesus Christ in whose Name I pray Amen