Conflict intimacy and the cross (II) Disclosure

I was reminded this morning a sons I heard a child. One of the lines was “Two lovely black eyes, oh what a surprise, only for telling a gal she was wrong, two lovely black eyes!” Clearly this gal had an anger problem, but like most of us, she either did not like being told she was wrong. Psychologists call it a defense mechanism, and they say the best form of defense is attack. Actually we come by this honestly, since from the very beginning we played the blame game. In particular when Adam was confronted with his sin, his response was “The woman You gave.” In other words it’s the woman’s fault, and actually it’s Your fault too God, because You are the one who gave her to me!

It seems to be very common at the breakup of the marriage for both parties to blame the other 100% for what went wrong. I certainly did at the breakup of my first marriage. We see each other’s faults so very clearly, but are so blind to our own. As for me, when I look at myself I don’t seem to have any faults! But then I have to ask myself ”Can I be the only one without faults, or am I blind too?” In fact, a big part of my journey to becoming a Christian was being shown that I was anything but innocent. And as I was saying yesterday the enemy intends conflict for evil, but God intends it for our good. In particular, if we come together at the foot of the cross in humility and obedience, then the Lord will use it to forge an unbreakable intimate bond between us.

It never ceases to amaze me how blind we seem to be to our faults, Christians included! I have even heard Christians say that a Christian cannot be deceived! But if that were the case, why would we be told to take care lest it happen (Galatians 6:7). The Scripture tells us that the heart is deceitful above all and desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:9). And since the Scriptures to not lie, if we don’t see it, then it just goes to show how deceived we are! So what I am saying this morning, is that part of the humility that we need to to exhibit at the foot of the cross, is being willing to be shown our faults. And who knows my faults better than my partner? So we need to come to the place where we are willing to be shown, but of course we need to do it in gentleness, meekness and humility and with grace (Galatians 6:1). And the foot of the cross is the right place to do this, for it is there we see that “There is no difference, for all have sinned and come short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).

Father, as in our relationship with You, it’s much less painful if we admit our faults first, rather than having to have You or others tell us. So this morning I come to You again and pray “Search my heart of God to see if there be any wicked way within me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 134:24). Thank You Lord that you have told us that if we confess our sins, You are faithful and just, not only to forgive us, but also to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). And once again with Your help I will put to death the deeds and the desires of the flesh, and give You all the honour and glory and praise Jesus Name Amen