Blows that hurt cleans away evil

I don't think it is an exaggeration to say that I was somewhat opinionated and provocative before I became a Christian, all those years ago. It was a major cause of the breakup of my first marriage. What I had not realized, was that in the aftermath of reaping what I had sown (Galatians 6:7), I became a conflict avoider. And I am not sure what is more destructive of relationships. I am not saying in my conflict avoidance that I did not have overwhelming feelings when I was the recipient of injustice. It simply turned inward to obsessive thinking. I eventually learned to deal with this by journaling, writing letter after letter, that I did not send.

Of those I would send, I learnt the hard way to wait, and not send them off immediately even if, or especially if, I was feeling strongly about the subject. My habit now is also to bounce them off someone I trust. And one of the questions I ask myself is “Do I want to send it?” You know “I would like to give them a piece of my mind!” But I can't afford to give any part of my mind away, I need it all! What I am saying is that more often than not, when I want to send it, I have not sufficiently dealt with my anger. My prayer partner is good at sensing the tone of my letters, even if I am in denial about it.

This morning's verse is “Blows that hurt cleanse away evil, As do stripes the inner depths of the heart” (Proverbs 20:30). When I am at the place where I can have compassion because the truth can be hard to hear, and I don't want to send it, because I don't want to hurt the person, then I know at least that my attitude is correct. I was wrestling with this very issue this morning, and the Lord gave me this morning's verse together with “Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 27:6).

Father, Your word tells us that we are to be as wise as serpents and harmless as doves. But sometimes Lord, not speaking the truth in love is harmful in and of itself. Give us wisdom Father, and Grace to be the men and women You call us to be, in Jesus Name Amen