The power and pollution of resentment

This morning I am remembering, something that happened in China years ago. I was the only “foreign expert,” attending a conference in Guilin (the mountains and the mist we see in many paintings). Being the honoured guest, I was being treated like a king, being wined and dined, and I liked it, I could get used to it! On an excursion we went on a trip down the river, at the end of which there would be a bus waiting for us. But we had to walk half an hour in the rain to get to the bus, and I kept muttering to myself “this is no way to treat the king!” Actually I was at the same time laughing at myself, and thinking how easy it is to move into resentment when when we don’t feel we are getting what we so richly deserve! The Lord reminded me of this incident this morning to help me not to take myself to seriously.

I had found myself this morning overwhelmed with negative feelings from a recent slight. As I cried out to the Lord asking for help, He reminded me that I had been teaching recently, that we humans have this unique ability to think about what we are thinking about. And in my mind’s eye I then imagined myself looking down on me wrestling with resentment. I then chose to think about things that are pure, lovely etc., etc. (Philippians 4:8). As I did this the feelings started to lift. For me this was relatively quick, but I have had a lot of practice taking my thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5), I have needed to. You see one of my addictions was obsessive thinking, and in the beginning it was much more of a struggle to take my thoughts captive than it was this morning. But reaping the consequences of my addictive obsessive thinking was one of my wake-up calls.

The writer to the Hebrews warns us that we must take care that we do not fail to receive the grace of God “lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled” (Hebrews 12:15). You see resentment and bitterness are poison. And first and foremost we poison ourselves with our negativity, but we also poison those around us whom we love. And at the time of my wake up call I certainly needed His grace to overcome my addictive obsessive thinking, and still do at times. So this morning I asked Him to help me receive His Grace. It’s all about forgiveness of course, and depending on the hurt, and the length of time we spent resenting, receiving His grace is either easier, or harder. And for most of us, forgiving others, and getting rid of our resentment is a process that we need to practice, practice, practice.

Father, You tell us to be kind and compassionate one to another, forgiving one another just as You forgave us (Ephesians 4:32). We need to forgive Father, because over and over we need to be forgiven, and unless we forgive, You will not forgive us (Matthew 6:15). But Lord we also need to forgive for our own sake, because life does not go well when we sit in the prison of bitterness and resentment. So this morning Lord, I’m asking for Grace for myself and all those reading this blog, Grace to forgive from the heart. And we will give you the honour, and glory and praise in Jesus Name Amen