As long as we both shall love. Not!

With the divorce rate skyrocketing both inside and outside of the church, our society more and more is dispensing with marriage, choosing simply to live together. But if I am remembering the statistics correctly, the breakup rate of couples cohabiting is even higher than the divorce rate. And I think that part of it, is that there’s something about making a public vow “As long as we both shall live.” So perhaps after such a vow we try harder? Even so, more and more the vow is in effect, becoming “As long as we both shall love!”

I mean when feelings have died, what else can you do? Well especially for the Christian with the resources of heaven at their disposal, a great deal. Please do not misunderstand me here, I am not suggesting that we should stay together in abusive relationships. What I am saying is that the death of our feelings should not be the end. The point is that love is much more than feeling. After all we are commanded to love each other, and the greatest command is to love God with all our heart mind soul and strength. So when love dies, what does He want us to do? Well if we are commanded to love our enemies (Matthew 5:44), then surely part of that is to choose to love our partner!

“But I don’t love him or her,” you may be tempted to respond. So? I am commanded to love, so I need to choose to love. And part of what that means is that I need to act in love independently of how I feel. Especially for the Christian, the will is intended to be the locomotive of the train that drives our decisions. Too often it is the feelings that drive our decisions, but the feelings should be the caboose, not the engine. The point is that when the will drives the decisions, the feelings, the caboose, follow along afterwards! Because our God is the God of resurrection, feeling of love that have died will be resurrected as (i.e. process) we continue to choose to obey!

Father, as You well know there is no judgement here. I have utterly failed twice in this area, and in this, as well as every other area, I am in absolutely no position to judge anybody. But when we have failed as I have, there is mercy, and your blood Lord Jesus Christ covers everything. Nevertheless, there are consequences to our decisions, and our children (the innocent ones) are they who suffer the most. But Lord I stand in the gap this morning for my family and others and declare that this generational dysfunction stops here. And I claim the promise of steadfast love and mercy to thousands of generations that follow, as I choose to love You and obey Your commandments (Exodus 20:5,6 NKJV) in Jesus name amen