The slow and reluctant death of the orphan spirit

I was reminded recently, how much I, and generalizing to the rest of the world we, need to be seen and loved and appreciated. I was reminded of this by a remark that I thought was neither kind nor called for. And it started a conversation where in the end he was more gracious than I. And I had to ask myself, why I was so defensive. And in answering, I am coming to the conclusion that the orphan spirit is not yet fully dead in me. But He has not called us to be orphans (John 14:18).

Now what lies behind my defensiveness could perhaps be described as pride, or denial, and perhaps there are elements of both. But what I am seeing is that there are the insecurities in myself, where there is no logical reason to be insecure. Well, I am guessing that we all have insecurities, and likely we all want others to think well of us, and it is not always going to happen! And even when it does, the experience of the negative can so easily dwarf the positive. I mean if I do ten things right and one thing wrong, what is the one thing people will remember? Likewise I can get ten compliments and one insult, and what is the one thing that will occupy my thoughts?

For the longest time, even as a Christian, I took my self worth from what I did for the kingdom and what others thought of me. And when it was negative it often took me into a tail spin of obsessive thinking. And to get over that, and myself, I had to learn that what God thinks about me is far more important that what you, or the rest of the world, thinks about me. And even, then getting this from my head to my heart was, and with this recent reminder is, a process. The point then, is that when we fully know and can rest in the knowledge of who we are in Christ, then like Him, there is no need to revile when we are reviled (1 Peter 2:23). In particular, there is no need to be defensive when others say unkind things about us.

Father, I believe that we all need to be seen and known and loved. Thank you Lord that when we let You, You will more than make up for what we lack, and You will heal the wounds of our many rejections. In particular, You promise that we will remember our shame no more (Isaiah 54:4). But this letting You, which is our part, it is not easy. In particular we need to stop speaking negative things over ourselves, and we need start speaking over ourselves what You say about us. And because You are no respecter of persons, and You spoke this over Jesus (Mark 1:11), then I can say “I am your beloved son and You are well pleased with me.” Likewise You speak this over all Your sons and daughters. So I ask You this morning Lord, to give us ears to hear and eyes to see Your extravagant healing love, and to rest in it, in Jesus Name Amen